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Not that anyone can tell.
I’m smiling and greet the groom while my hand lingers with Ivan’s for just a moment or two longer than they should. I also shrug when his brows furrow at Alvin walking with Natasha, not understanding why someone he met recently is walking with one of the maids of honor.
Yet the moment his beauty walks through the doors, he’s done for.
You can see it on his face. This feeling of peace and completion comes from being close to the one you love.
Nevertheless, I can’t help the way my eyes water at the sight. I’m crying in joy for them and sorrow for myself, a contradicting set of emotions that I hide behind a watery smile for the happy couple.
Ivan’s also watching, but not them. It doesn’t help my nerves, this anxiousness that creeps in when his words from last night and today mix. Confusion leads to weakness en route to heartbreak, and he’s the one holding the guillotine.
Nothing more than an obligation.
It’s never been my intention, but out of necessity, I’m the devil incarnate.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” That snaps me back to the present, and I wipe at my damp cheek with the fingers not gripping my bouquet. “Mr. De Leon, you may now kiss you…never mind.”
Laughter fills the large backyard, his mother’s being the loudest. There are hoots and hollers, clapping as they continue to kiss without a care in the world.
A shoulder bumps into mine, and I turn my head. “You won the bet, by the way.”
“Never a doubt.”
“So cocky.”
“No. Just smart.” With everything but him.
“Tomorrow, late lunch?” In other words, we’ll be dissecting what happened in the last twenty-four hours. Fine with me. At this point, I need someone to help me make sense of this.
“It’s a date.”
“Never a doubt,” she parrots my same words, dipping her hand into the pocket of my dress and slipping something inside that feels like money. Nat also nudges me forward a second before someone grabs my hand, a touch I’d know anywhere, and winks. “You’ll be paying, too.”
My head aches a bit and my legs will be sore tomorrow, but it’s worth it to see how happy my best friend is. The couple is dancing to a slow bolero being played by the band, an old romantic song that reminds some of us of where we come from, or a love lost.
This was a favorite of the De Leon abuelos, and it’s touching to see their mother sing it to them. Her watery eyes shift from the couple to her husband, and lastly, to the man a few feet from me.
His presence is overwhelming. Hasn’t given me the space I need to clear my head.
I chose this empty table near the back to relax after hours of nonstop running around because the actual ceremony was just a small part of today. You have pictures and toasts and avoiding questions while jumping in to help at the slightest infraction to help things move along smoothly.
If a vase fell because someone’s tipsy aunt second removed bumped into a table? I got the person out of the way while the clean-up crew made it disappear.
If Luna needed a change of shoes? I ran upstairs in my death traps and grabbed her flip-flops.
But now that the night is almost done and people watch the final dance before they leave, I’m without a compass.
Lost. Exhausted.
He’s also a lot closer than he was an hour ago, and I inhale deep, taking in that liquor and man scent that all women find attractive in men. Not all men, though. There’s something about that combination on who you lay claim to that’s near controlling in its pull.
It’s woodsy and strong with just the right note of spice that makes my thighs clench underneath the table.
“Get ahold of yourself, dammit,” I mutter under my breath and pick up my glass of wine, taking a sip. Then another, the crisp white flowing through me—warming me after my fourth glass. “You’re not that girl. I’m not this weak.”
The couple stops their swaying, turning to look over at the family matriarch while the rest of the guests begin to applaud. And I tag along, throwing back the last bit of chilled wine before pushing my chair back.
Yet before I can stand, a strong hand with a tattoo of a lion’s head greets my line of sight. The fingers are extended in my direction before turning over, offering me his help to stand. My eyes quickly shift around the room and notice people glance away, his mother and father being two of them.
