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Lunchtime passes without me hearing anything from Nyx, so I decide to call him. When the call goes straight to answerphone, I figure he’s out of signal or maybe he just forgot to charge his phone. Nyx isn’t like the other kids our age, he doesn't have his cell glued to his hand all the time. I very rarely see him with it in fact.
I distract myself with some school work, then waste another hour scrolling through TikTok videos.
Something doesn’t feel right, and the nervous feeling in my gut gradually builds as more time passes.
I wait until it gets to 6pm before I give up telling myself I’m paranoid and call Abby for her advice. She doesn’t answer either so I try to imagine what she would say instead. She’d tell me that all boys are assholes and that I shouldn’t worry about him. But with Nyx, it’s never that simple. I know what people he hangs around with now, it explains a lot. With them, he could have got himself into all kinds of trouble. I can’t help worrying about him.
I join my parents for dinner that evening, trying to put on a front and act like nothing’s wrong, but my stomach rolls, threatening to eject its contents every time Father's eyes burn at me across the table. I finish up as quickly as I can and excuse myself back to my room and after checking my phone again, see that there’s still nothing from Nyx.
The whole day has passed without me hearing from him. Something’s wrong, and I pray to god whatever it is has nothing to do with my father and that man that was here yesterday.
He doesn’t come to me in my dreams that night either, instead, I get trapped in a nightmare. One that makes my body break out in cold sweats and puts a rotten taste in my throat.
I’m in my father’s office, his fingers touching the inside of my thigh and Nyx’s tattoo. He’s angry with me, and his fingers feel like sandpaper as they rub over the compass like he has the power to erase it from my skin. I wake up with a jolt. The cool air blowing through my balcony window and setting a shiver over my skin.
I fight to suck in air, my chest struggling to lift, but eventually, I manage to take some deep breathes when I remember that my bedroom door is locked. Father can’t get to me. I fumble at my side unit until I locate my phone and check it again. There’s still nothing from Nyx and despite it being 4am, I decide to try to call him again.
This time I leave him a message, asking… no, begging him to pick up because I’m worried. I tell him that I need him. That I don’t care if he’s missed our date today, I’m not mad. I just need to know he’s okay. Then I stare at the phone, willing for it to ring as the sun creeps up and lightens my room.
My eyes feel heavy this morning, due to my lack of sleep and all the crying I’ve done. I try my best to freshen myself up before I make my way down the stairs for breakfast.
It’s a typical Monday morning for everyone else, Penelope is whistling in the kitchen, while Mom takes her morning dose of ‘vitamins’ and Father sits at the table, his eyes scanning the morning news. He doesn’t look up, but I can see the smug look on his face and the sweat dripping from his freshly shaved top lip.
He repulses me.
“It’s such a terrible thing, what happened to the Robinson boy, we must send Denise and Roger flowers.” Mom’s suggestion to my Father suddenly turns my whole body rigid.
“What happened to Luke?” I ask, despite deep down already having a pretty solid clue.
“He’s in the ICU, a victim of an unprovoked attack up at Pines Peak apparently, lucky there was a witness and they have arrested the person who did it. I can't bear the thought of someone like that being out there on the loose. Is anywhere safe these days?” She tuts before stabbing a fork into her fruit bowl.
I struggle to swallow as I eat up the eggs Penelope has prepared for me, and I quickly make up an excuse about getting to school early for some extra study time with Abby.
Father nods as if giving me his permission, and Mother gives me a lecture about working too hard. I kiss her cheek and leave in a hurry, hoping that Nyx will be at school with a perfectly good reason for not coming to see me yesterday. One that doesn’t involve Luke Robinson.
Mine is one of the first cars in the parking lot when I arrive. And I sit in silence, convincing myself that I’m being silly worrying about Nyx.
Of course he didn’t do this to Luke, he cares about me, the night before last he told me he loved me for Christ’s sake. He wouldn’t say that and then get himself thrown into jail. I’m just being a stupid, paranoid wreck. I’m distracting myself from a much more important issue. The fact that my father’s behavior towards me is completely inappropriate, and that there is every chance he might do it again is what I should really be worrying about.
There’s no sign of Abby’s car in the parking lot and when I hear the bell ring, I get my bag and head inside.
There are whispers all around the hall, everyone’s eyes seeming focused on me as I make my way towards my locker.
“I heard that Luke’s eye popped right out the socket and he crushed it in his fist,” one of the cheerleaders tells the crowd that’s growing around her. All of them turning and looking at me judgingly.
“What's going on?” I ask one of the boys I share chemistry class with.
“You’re kidding, right?” he laughs at me as he looks me up and down. “The new kid beat the shit into Luke last night, almost killed him. Apparently they’re still not sure if he’ll make it.”
“And what about Nyx?” I hear the shake in my voice as I ask him.
“He got arrested, that's all I know. Lucky escape for you, huh? I always thought that kid was dangerous.” He strolls off towards class leaving me drowning in a sea of chaos and I can’t take it for a second longer.
I turn and run back to my car, pulling out of the school parking lot. I contemplate heading to Manitou springs. There has to be someone in the studio who can tell me what's happened. And If not I’ll find out where the Dirty Souls clubhouse is and go there instead. I need answers, I need to know why Nyx did this? If he’d really put hurting Luke over us being together?
I weigh up the consequences in my head. Father will be crazy mad if he finds out I've gone back there, and there’s no doubt that he’ll be keeping track of me now. His punishment will be brutal, but I can’t not know that Nyx is okay. And so I head south to the quaint little town of Manitou springs, regardless of what it might cost me, and in desperate need for some answers.
I park in a space close to the studio and try not to be intimidated by the two guys sitting on the metal chairs either side of the door with their legs stretched out blocking the sidewalk. Both of them wearing leather cuts and smoking something that doesn’t smell like a cigarette.
