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“Leave me here I’m fine,” she slurs back at me.
“You don’t look fine, you look buzzed,” I point out, her eyes are practically rolling in her head.
“It's called fun, Ella. When you remember how to have it come back and find me,” she giggles at me, her body curling into Luke’s.
I push past the pair of them, rushing from the bathroom and into the cab that’s waiting for me outside. I pull out my phone to check the time, I hope to god my parents are still out when I get back. I don’t want to face them.
It’s rare for me to check my phone these days, it’s not like anyone bothers to contact me anymore. But I do notice that I have an email. It’s sure to be another visitation denial. I submitted a new request a few days ago, same as I do every week. I click it open preparing for disappointment and then my fingers start to shake when my eyes read over the words in front of me.
VISIT APPROVED
It’s been two days since the approval to visit Nyx came through and I sit and wait patiently in the visitors room.
My heart dropping into my stomach when the steel door opens and Nyx steps through it.
He stops moving forward when he notices me, his eyes staring at me through the glass that separates us like he’s surprised to see me here.
And even in the bright orange scrubs he’s wearing, he looks every bit as handsome as I remember him.
He turns to say something to the guard, I can’t hear what it is because of the thick glass between us, but whatever it is, he doesn’t look happy.
Eventually, his huge chest sags and he steps forward. Taking the seat in front of me and picking up the phone.
My stomach flutters wildly when I copy him, lifting up the phone next to me, pressing it to my ear, and waiting to hear his voice.
“Whatcha doin' here, Ell?” He looks like he’s in pain, he sounds like he's in pain, and suddenly, I wish I hadn’t come here.
“I had to see you,” I whisper back feebly. I can’t stop my hands from shaking and have to close my eyes to contain my tears.
“You shouldn’t have come,” he tells me blankly, before he lowers his head and rests his forehead in the palm of his hand.
I miss his hands, can remember how they felt on me. His touch alone could make everything right with the world again, and I sure as hell could use that right now.
I hate that there’s a barrier between us. If we could just connect again. My skin against his skin, just for a moment, I know I’d feel less scared about everything.
“Why did you do it, Nyx?” I ask, covering my mouth with my hand when I hear my voice weaken. I don’t want to fall apart in front of him. That's not why I came here. I have so much to say. So much that I need to tell him.
Despite all he’s done, I know that Nyx loves me. There was honesty in his voice when he told me, I saw it in his eyes when he focused on giving me his tattoo and I felt it every time he was inside me. If he knew what was happening to me out here, he’d fight to get out. He’d protect me.
“I told you, and I warned him. Nobody hurts you.” His voice is weak, his eyes refusing to look up at me and all the emotions inside me erupt.
“You hurt me.” I break into a sob. “You're hurting me right now,” I confess, far louder than I intended and when his head shoots up and his green eyes connect with mine, seeing that they’re glazed with tears splits my heart straight through the middle.
“It was never my intention to hurt you, Ell, all I’ve ever wanted was to take care of you.”
“I warned you this would happen, Nyx… Jesus.” My eyes sting from trying to hold in my tears. “Luke Robinson is the least of my problems out here.” I shake my head, trying to pull myself back together.
“What do you mean?” His eyes quickly narrow and he leans forward, his knuckles turning white as he grips the phone tighter to his ear. “What the fuck do you mean by that, Ell?”
My eyes fall on to my lap, and I consider telling him about the nightmare I’m dealing with. But Nyx looks far too broken to hear it.
I’m the daughter of a judge, I know about the things that happen in places like this. Nyx doesn’t need extra stress right now. He needs hope.
“You don’t belong here.” I change the subject. “Luke isn’t dead, he’s made a full recovery. You did what you did to him to protect me. You have a strong case, Nyx. I’ll be a witness.”
“You're wrong, this is exactly where I belong,” he utters, and all I can do is stare at his lips. Beautiful lips that used to kiss me so gently.
“You're a good person, Nyx,” I tell him because it feels like he needs to hear it.
