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“Adaline will be here to pick me up soon, I wanted to come and say goodbye,” she says.
“I hope you have a good time.” I head for the bathroom to avoid her.
“I thought you said you were going to the salon.” She follows me and stands inside the door.
“They were fully booked, so I’m going back with Abby tomorrow,” the lie rolls off my tongue easily. I haven’t seen Abby since graduation. But I’ve mastered deceit just lately.
“Darling, when I get back, I want us to sit down and have a proper talk, okay?” she smiles at me sadly.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Mom, I’m okay, really,” I assure her, faking a smile. Anything just to get her the hell out of here.
“I love you, Ella,” her voice wobbles like she’s on the verge of crying, and I wonder for a second if she senses that this is the last time that she’ll see me for a while.
“I love you too, Mom,” I tell her, managing to fake her a smile. She leaves me in the bathroom, closing the door behind her, and I wait until I hear her leave my room before I flick the lock on the door. I used to sympathize with my mother for what she went through, despite how unhappy Father made growing up for me, I never doubted that she loved me. Just lately though, I’ve been forced to think differently.
I pull Nyx’s hoodie over my head and stare at my reflection. My stomach’s grown so much these past few weeks it’s becoming almost impossible to hide, and it won’t be long before he or she decides to make their appearance into the world. As desperate as I am to meet the little person growing inside me, I’m petrified about what will happen when that time comes.
I stroke my hand over my stretched-out skin and feel a wriggle beneath my palm. My special little secret, proof that what me and Nyx had was real. I haven’t seen a doctor since I found out I was pregnant, couldn’t risk anyone else knowing but me. But instinct tells me it’s going to be a boy.
A beautiful boy, with eyes like his daddy’s.
I’ve kept him a secret, shielded him for this long, and in just a few more hourswe’ll be out of this town and free from my father. Things are gonna be tough. I have no idea how I’m gonna manage being a single Mom. But what I can be sure of is that I’ll do everything I can to give my child a good life and protect it. It’s what makes me question everything about my own mother.
I often wonder if Nyx would have still left if he’d known about our baby. How different things might be if I’d taken the opportunity to tell him that day I visited him in El Paso County. Nyx doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d run away from trouble. In fact, over the past eight months, I’ve often imagined Nyx as a father. It’s crazy given how reckless he can be, but I can’t help wondering if he’d have been as protective of our child as he was of me. If he’d love him unconditionally the way I already do.
Then I stop myself because it makes me feel sad and stupid. I pull myself back to reality and remind myself that if Nyx really loved me, he would be here with me and we’d be running together.
I run myself a bath and lie back in the warm water. Letting my body soak and my tummy stick out from the bubbles. I swish the water around it with my fingers. Checking myself over for stretch marks. I’m lucky enough not to have any yet, but then I’m not exactly big. I’ve been able to hide under baggy clothes up until now. Even my parents and Penelope haven’t questioned me. I only started to show a few months ago and so far, no questions have been asked. Though I have noticed Penelope staring at me a little curiously lately.
I watch my stomach ripple as he moves inside me, seeking out a more comfortable position, and I press my hand protectively over the hard ridge he makes on my left side. Hoping he knows I’m here for him. That I’ll do anything to keep him safe. And for the first time in months, I smile a smile that isn’t fake, because something in my gut tells me that everything is gonna be okay for us.
Tommy quivers in his seat like a shitting dog. His face already busted up, due to my lack of self-control, and his eyes wildly flick between Jessie and me waiting for what comes next.
Tommy was once part of this club, he’s fully aware of what Jessie is capable of down here in his basement. He’s even cleared up after him. He has every reason to be nervous.
“Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.” Jessie pulls out a chair from beneath the table and straddles it in front of him. “You know why you’re here?” he asks
“Because my Pa killed Carly,” he answers, not a shred of empathy in his voice.
“This club doesn't judge men on another man’s actions,” Jessie reminds him. “What me and Nyx here wanna know, is why you’ve been following Ella Jackson around since you got released from county last month?”
“Ella Jackson.” The prick must have picked himself up some fucking balls since I left him cowering in El Paso because he looks up at the ceiling acting like he’s trying to recall the name. I can already feel myself running out of patience.
How the fuck does Jessie pull this shit off?
“Pretty hazel eyes, wavy hair, tight little ass. I think I know who you're talkin’ about.” He smiles. I launch at him, knocking the fucker back to the floor on the chair he’s tied to. Pressing the heel of my boot into his throat, I apply enough pressure for him to start choking.
“Nyx,” Jessie warns. “He ain’t gonna be any use to us fuckin’ dead.”
“He won’t be a threat either,” I point out, removing my foot, and grabbing the front of his hair with one hand, dragging him and the chair back into an upright position.
“You tell us what the fuck you were doin’ following her. Or I swear to god I will make you eat your own nutsack,” I warn. His confidence seems to have suddenly vanished, and he looks at the floor trying to avoid eye contact with me.
“Why do you care about her anyway? She’s just a girl.” I can’t hide the way my eyes quickly flash at Jessie, and if he’s as surprised as I am, he doesn’t show it. Either Tommy doesn’t know Ella is Prez’s daughter, or he’s a good fuckin’ liar.
“You workin’ for your old man?” Jessie asks him calmly, pulling his knife and letting it dangle in the hand he has resting over the chair he’s sitting on.
“I’m not gonna rat on my dad, you might as well kill me now.” Tommy shakes his head definitely.
