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“Old man must be going soft in his old age,” he shrugs and hobbles his way over to the bench to take a seat.
“So why ya really here?” he asks again. Knowing me far too well.
“Because I fucked up too. I broke the first rule you ever taught me and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Who is she?” Vex looks at me blankly, and I wish I could read the old man’s eyes.
“She’s just a girl.”
“Braxton. I ain’t seen ya in five years. Now you're on my mountain looking like you just took a bullet to the balls. Something tells me this ain’t just a girl.”
“I came here because I need an outlet, Vex, you got one for me or not?”
“There’s a guy in Utah who's looking for someone. Two men, both of them fresh out of jail. 50k for a clean job.”
“I’ll take it,” I nod back at him. Just because Vex retired from club life don’t mean he’s clean. Years ago, if you wanted a job taken care of, Vex was the man to call. His body may not let him do it anymore, but his phone still keeps ringing. And for the past few years, I’ve been the man who’s stepped up to the mark. It helps me through when the club gets quiet.
“You heard anything from Tucker?” Vex asks me, knowing that’s who I got keeping an eye out for Chop. If anyone’s gonna find him, it’s Tucker, he’s an ex navy seal and Vex uses him to do all his groundwork for him.
“Not a thing.”
“Well you'll be hearing from him in a few days. I’ll have him put the details together and get in touch.” I nod my head and move back to my bike.
“So that’s it, you ain’t staying for a beer and telling me all about this girl that got your black heart all twisted up?”
“No.”
“And what about Jessie? Last ya told me, he had an old lady. That still working out for him?”
In a fucked up way, Vex was a father to us both while we trained with him. I watched Jessie go through all the same shit I did, and I know that deep down in his hell ridden soul, Vex cares for us.
“Yeah, it’s workin’ out real good. I doubt it’ll be long before there are pretty little Donavon fuckers running riot all over the compound.”
“So why you so certain it couldn’t work out for you too?” he questions me, tapping the bowl of his pipe against the wood cladded wall behind him.
“You know why,” I answer. I didn’t ride out here for a deep and meaningful, I just want to make someone hurt.
“I don’t know shit no more. Jessie’s got a bitch, Jimmer’s letting people who fuck his daughter live.” He shrugs his shoulders and pulls out a pouch of tobacco from his brown leather waistcoat. It makes me a little sad that it doesn't have the Souls’ patch sewn on to it no more. But it’s another reminder that nothing lasts forever.
“Look, Vex, Gracie was a job for Jimmer, he promised her mom protection, and for some fucked up reason he put me on it. She don’t need us anymore, I dropped the girl at her house this morning and it’s done. I just—”
“You know you either gotta let it go or let her go,” Vex interrupts me.
“Did you not hear what I just said. I dropped her off this morning. She’s back where she belongs, and now I can get on with what I do. Which is why I’m here.”
“I heard ya loud, son, but if you think it’s that simple, I didn't teach you quite enough. You may have taken the bitch home but you sure as shit ain’t let her go,” he tells me wisely. And I wish I could fucking argue with him.
“You know, you could love like Jessie. I never took that outta him and I never took it out of you either. You’re good men with strong hearts. But if you wanna love this Gracie girl the way you think she deserves to be loved, you're gonna have to let all that hate in your heart make some room.”
“You and I both know that ain’t gonna happen. Not when I've been holding on to it for so long.” I turn my back on the old man and hop back into the truck, giving him a nod before I start up and drive back to the compound.
Duke is waiting for me on the couch when I get back to the cabin, and he looks disappointed when he realizes Gracie ain’t with me. I stomp past him straight out onto the deck, kick out a chair and light up.
Why does doing the right thing have to hurt so fucking bad?
I feel Duke's furry coat rub against my hand, and I pat his head as he sits beside me.
“We did the right thing,” I tell him, watching the surface of the water as it rocks in front of me. I have to focus on something because if I don’t, I’ll think of her with him and I’ll lose my shit.
