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“How’s your mama?” I ask Grimm, last night he told me that he knew I visited her, and I can’t believe he’s not mad at me for the invasion of his privacy. “She’s good now, just had one of her breaks, it’s normal for her condition.”
“And what is her condition?” I ask him, hoping that he’s finally gonna let me in.
“Before I can tell you that, I gotta take you somewhere and I got to ask you to keep a secret.”
“You have my word,” I draw a cross over my chest.
We ride for about twenty miles, passing through a town that looks like it’s living fifty years behind time, and when Grimm pulls off onto a dirt track, he stops in front of a huge detached house.
It’s run down and in serious need of repair, but even I can imagine that it used to be beautiful.
“What is this place?” I ask, unsaddling the bike and stepping toward the front door.
“Don’t go inside.” Grimm snatches my arm and pulls me back. I can feel him shaking as he holds on to me with a firm grip, and he snarls at himself like he’s regretting this.
“This is where I grew up,” he explains, resting his ass back on his saddle and placing me in between his legs. I wait patiently for him to tell me more, knowing how hard it is to unearth the things that you fight every day to keep buried.
“My dad was particular about stuff. He liked to control shit,” he starts, his eyes fixed on where his fingers are fiddling with the hem of my shirt. “He’d beat on me and my mama if things weren’t kept right, everything had to be perfect, not a thing out of its place.”
Things slowly start to make a lot of sense.
“That really sucks.” I stroke my hand through his hair, while I wait until he’s ready to tell me more.
“He had another compulsion too… When I was about twelve, I found out that he liked to hurt women. I don’t know how many victims there were, but I know he killed a lot of innocent ones. He claimed he had the strength of God inside him and what he was doing was all part of God’s plan but…”
Grimm clenches the cotton in his fist so tight I notice his knuckles turning white, and I wish he’d look up at me.
“When I was fifteen, when he showed me how to get rid of them, he told me that I had the power inside me too and that I’d have to be smart if I was gonna carry out God’s work.”
“Jesus Christ.” I slam my hand over my mouth because I don’t know what to say. No wonder Grimm and his mama are so fucked up.
“I was scared of him, and because of that, I helped him get rid of them, Rogue. That’s how I got good at what I do for the club. Because he taught me.”
“I…” For once in my life I’m speechless.
“You don’t have to say anything, I know I should have done things differently. But he told me that hurting those other women stopped him from hurting Mama, and I had to protect her.”
I can feel my heart breaking, and now I know how he must have felt last night when I poured out my heart to him, because I’m so angry right now that I could move the earth but I need to be here for him.
“I hated him back then and I hate him more now, because sometimes…” Grimm's eyes flick up to mine and he looks ashamed. “I can feel that part of him inside me.”
“Sure you like things in their place, but you’d never…”
“I want to control you,” he interrupts me. “When I’m with you, sometimes it’s all I think about. If I had my way, I’d keep you locked inside my cabin day and night. It’s an illness, Rogue, and I’m really fucking sick with it.” He watches for my reaction like he’s ashamed, and when I smile back at him he looks confused.
“Well, if that’s the case, I’m sick with it too, ‘cause given the chance I’d do the same to you,” I admit.
“You killed him, didn’t you?” I guess this is why he never wanted to speak about killing people. It can’t be easy to take the life of the person who gave you yours. I can be so insensitive sometimes. I really need to work on that if I’m gonna be accepted by these people. And the past twenty-four hours have proven to me how much I want to be.
“I’ve never killed anyone,” he confesses, and I can tell that hurts him by the way his brow furrows.
“But you're so… Grimm, how is that even possible?”
“I’ve thought about it plenty, but I’m too fucking scared to do it. I’ve got enough of that man’s evil inside me, I got his OCD, I got his need for control. What if that part of him comes out of me too? What if I hurt you?” Seeing tears in his eyes, triggers mine, and his hurt feels like a knife tearing through my insides.
“I don’t want to turn into him and lose you, Rogue.”
“That ain't gonna happen, men like you get possessive over their women. Look at the way Brax is with Grace and Jessie is with Maddy. They love them fiercely but they’d never beat on them. You would never hurt me, Grimm. I trust that and you have to, too,” I assure him, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles.
