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Who she is, is insignificant. The girl is new, I’ve never used her before, and I hope she isn’t gonna hesitate or ask dumb questions because I ain’t in a tolerable fuckin’ mood.
She smiles at me like she’s just been picked first in gym class when I point to the floor in the corner of the room.
“Take off your panties,” I tell her, relieved when she does as she’s told immediately, bitch is gonna do real well round here with that kinda attitude.
She lets the tiny strip of fabric dangle off her fingertip like she’s expecting me to take them off her.
“Sit.” I move my eyes to the space on the floor where I want her, and with a slight apprehensive glance around the room, she sits down for me.
“Finger fuck yourself,” I order, knocking back another mouthful of Jack.
“Pardon?” Her eyes widen. There aren’t many people in here, the music ain’t that loud, she fucking heard me the first time.
“Your finger… I want you to use it and fuck yourself,” I repeat myself, this time slowly so she won’t misunderstand me.
“But…” The pathetic giggle she makes irritates the shit out of me.
“Do it, or fuck off,” I snarl. Then watch as she sucks her finger inside her mouth, lowering it to her pussy and begins rubbing it back and forth over her clit.
It doesn’t take long for her to soak her own fingers. Like most whores round here, she’s getting off on undivided attention.
I focus on her finger as it moves lower, teasing at her entrance.
“Take two of them,” I instruct, my hands twitching to reach out and show her how it should be done. But this is all part of the test. I am strong enough to beat the demons.
I have self preservation. I can control myself.
And this way, no one gets hurt.
Her pussy takes her index and middle finger all the way to her knuckles, and she works herself hard, straining her head against the wall behind her. “Don’t stop until you come.” I cross my arms over my chest and watch her, wondering if I’ll ever find enough restraint to test myself like this with Rogue. I’d really like to. The thought of commanding her gets me hard and fucking furious with myself all at the same time.
I’m not him… I’m not fucking him.
My need to control is a sickness, passed down through the generations. But I’ve got a handle on it. I just can’t trust myself around Rogue, if anyone is liable to break me, it’s her
I won’t become him.
I won’t ruin.
I won’t destroy.
I desire women, same as any other guy around here. But I need more than just a bitch’s pussy. I crave control, I need them to follow whatever I instruct them to and to do it perfectly. And once my urge takes over there’s no going back. I can’t shut out the thoughts in my head. I can’t make the images vanish.
I figured out a long time ago that I was incapable of normal and, up until now, I’ve been prepared to live with that.
Rogue makes me want what everyone else around here seems to be getting. I want her in my life. In my cabin, in my bed. On my fucking bike. I want her wearing my clothes, eating off my cutlery, and touching my things… I even want her touching me…
But just as much, I want her under my control. I want to own her, and Rogue isn’t the type of girl to be owned by anyone.
The girl in front of me is close, I know the signs, loss of coordination to the hand, uncontrolled thrashing of the hips. She’s gonna come all over her fingers and then eat up her mess just like I tell her to.
But something makes me pull my eyes away from her. A sudden sixth sense that I never knew I possessed burns into the back of my skull and forces me to turn around. And I see her standing in front of me, eyes that are too angry for tears, wild and looking at me like she’s about to pounce. But what she does is much worse.
She runs.
I should never have followed him down here. I knew I’d made a mistake the second I saw him, fascinated by the whore on the floor in front of him. The one who's playing with herself and lapping up all his attention.
It stokes at the already lit fire in the pit of my stomach, and when Grimm turns around and catches me watching him, I try so hard to hide my hurt that my teeth feel like they might snap from the strain in my jaw.
