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But I know I’m doing the right thing. She needs to be protected from me.
AGED 15
“I’ve got plans for us today, son.” My father stares at me over the breakfast table and I watch a look of contentment creep onto Mama’s face. “Go get yourself ready,” he orders, and I quickly get up from the table and head straight for my room. It’s probably going to be more chores, perhaps the fences over at the farm need fixing up again. So I throw on a pair of jeans and an old T-shirt then lace up my boots.
Father remains silent as we drive out of town and arrive at an abandoned scrap yard. The gates are rusty and I watch Father get out the car and take some keys out of his pocket, he unlocks the chain wrapped around them and drags them open, before jumping back in the car and driving through. I want to ask him why he’s got the key to this place. It’s full of old cars and scrap metal, and there's a tire pile almost as tall as our house. The whole place is so disorganized it makes me twitchy. I can’t imagine what it must be doing to him.
I remain quiet, this is probably his latest project. Another opportunity for him to appear a pillar of the community.
“Do you remember your grandad?” he asks me after he parks between two of the storage containers.
“Barely,” I answer, the air fresheners in the car are so strong they make me feel sick.
“This place used to belong to him and his brother,” he explains, his fingers tapping at the wheel. “It got left to me after they both died.”
This is news to me, Father is a broker. I could never imagine him working at a place like this.
“I worked a few summers here when I was a kid, but I hated it. I was angry at them for leaving me the burden of the place.” Hearing Dad open up like this is odd, he never talks about his family or his feelings. “But I made the best out of the situation, as I do with all eventualities, Richie.” He stares out through the windshield and when he goes to speak again, he hesitates.
“Those women in the photographs…” he starts, and the images flashback into my mind. I’ve thought about them a lot since seeing them. In fact, I’ve even let myself into his shed to look at them again a few times. Call me sick and twisted but there’s something beautiful about each and every one of them. Something that entices me back. I wonder what their stories are, where they came from, how they sinned. I wonder if Father fucked them all, the way he did Mrs. Hopewell before he ended her.
“I know you think bad of me, but that’s because you don’t understand. The Lord gives me this strength, He allows me rage and when that happens, I have to lash out. I don’t want to hurt your Mom. She’s a good woman, a good wife. She’s worthy. So to protect her I have to use the power He gives me to do good. I rid the world of those that taint it.” He takes a deep breath through his nostrils. “And once I’m gone, Richie, it’s going to be your responsibility. God has chosen you like He chose me. I already see it in you. You hold that anger inside you. I hear it scream to come out. I saw it in the way you looked at the women in those photographs. You won’t be able to hold it in forever, and if you're not careful you will cause the wrong people pain. I can help you control it. I can help you hide it… Because those that aren’t chosen don’t understand.” He looks at me now, his eyes focused.
“We’ll do this to protect your mother, to protect ourselves, and to save our souls.” He gets out of the car and comes round to open my door. I keep my eyes on his as I get out and follow him toward the storage locker. He takes the keychain out of his pocket and opens the huge steel door. And when I see what’s inside, I don’t know how I manage not to gag.
Lying on the floor is a woman, a beautiful woman with her arms and legs bound. She’s naked, and her body is cut and bruised. Father kneels down in front of her and strokes his hand through her curly brown hair. “Evil always finds the most beautiful of vessels.”
“You did this to her?” I ask, looking down at the ruined body. Her throat’s been slit and she’s lying in a pool of her own blood.
“In the Lord's name, son. This woman may have the look of an angel but she carries the devil's soul.”
“You can’t… You can’t do this to people.” I shake my head as I watch him.
“I don’t have a choice, Richie. The power’s inside me, God gave it to me for a reason. I’m going to help you control yours. I’m going to teach you.” He stands up and steps toward me. His hands are bloody from touching her and I take a step back from him.
“No… I don’t have whatever it is. I don’t want to hurt anybody.” That’s a lie, because I've thought plenty about hurting him.
“Not yet, but you will and I, as your father, must teach you how to deal with these situations efficiently.”
“In the other storage container, you will find everything we need to clean any traces of the girl being here away. We will dispose of her body and then we’ll be home in time for supper.”
“I don’t want to do this.” I can feel my body shaking, why do I find the girl so pretty, even in death. I’m sick.”
“You haven’t got a choice. This is God’s gift. What I do to these women keeps your Mama safe. Because the power is strong. So strong that it can strike at any time. This is how I control it. Now, we are going to need to wrap her body so we don't get blood in the trunk. There’s a roll of black plastic in the other lock-up.”
He hands me a key with his clean hand and I take it. It’s contaminated with his germs and I can feel the grime of it on my skin. I want to scream. I want to throw the key at the steel wall and run. To scrub my hands clean of his sin. But if this is what it’s gonna take to protect Mama. I’m gonna have to play my part.
“Morning.” Rogue stands in front of me, my T-shirt only just covering her hips and her long legs on full view.
“Morning.” I scrub my hand over my face, that smile she’s wearing does weird shit to me.
“So… I’m all caught up with work at the garage, and far as I’m aware, no one got killed yesterday. You wanna hang out today?” She’s enthusiastic, and as appealing as it sounds, there's no chance I can be around her for an entire day without losing my head.
Especially if she’s planning on being dressed like that.
“I got somewhere I need to be.” Standing up, I squeeze through the space she’s left between her and the door, and she does a real shit job of hiding the disappointment from her face.
I head straight down to the club to find Jessie. I need some kinda time frame on how long I’m gonna have to tolerate my house guest.
