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I need distance between me and Shaniya, I’m really fucking shit up with her. The way she’d tried to kiss me had been so fuckin’ innocent, and I ruined it by letting my need for her consume me.
She’ll be petrified of me now for sure. She’s seen the monster I can be, the damage I can do. And I’ve just proved to her and myself that I can’t be trusted. When I reach my cabin, I slam the door behind me and head straight for the shower. My cock is swollen to the point of fucking pain, aching for release after our encounter, and I get under the water and let it rinse the blood away from my skin. I think about her soft lips pressing against mine, and how her palm had stretched over my chest. I’d had her, right there in my arms, after three long years of watching and wanting. I fuckin’ had her, and it felt so fuckin’ good.
I leave my cock stranded as a punishment. I’ve been weak, and that little speech I just gave her about being mine… Pathetic.
I made the whole thing sound like a threat.
What the hell did I expect her to say to that shit?
I smash my fist into the tiles in front of me. My knuckles are already split from where I’ve launched havoc on Tawk anyway, and I deserve the pain for messing everything up. The water runs cold, but I stay under its stream, hoping it will cool the rage inside me. I can’t seem to get a grip on my feelings when they involve her, and I don’t know how to fucking deal because I’ve never felt anything like it before.
I’ve hated someone enough to want to tear their face off. Brutally beat complete strangers to either earn money or out of loyalty to my club. But this, the need to be close to her, to touch her every damn second, it’s soul-crushing. How the guys with old ladies get shit done around here is fuckin’ beyond me.
She kissed me first. Did she not realize how dangerous that could be for her? Being involved with this club comes with its own risks, and that’s without pissing off everyone she cares about. Her uncle would disown her for wanting to be involved with me, and I’d never expect for her to abandon her people, it’s clear how passionate she is for them.
So why the fuck is my head continuously coming up with scenarios where we’re together?
I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. My cock isn’t letting up, still hard at the thought of her, but he can suffer it, he was the one in the driving seat when I tongue fucked her pretty little mouth back at the club.
I’d treated her no better than a club slut, simply because I don’t know any better. Guess now I won’t have to worry about that, I’m sure I’ve done a good job of scaring her for life.
Heading into my room I pull on some fresh jeans, it still smells of her in here, so I quickly move out, taking a seat on the decking that looks out into the lake.
I absorb the silence, watching the sky turn darker, and wondering where she might be now. I don’t like the idea of her going back to the reserve, not until all this is over. But who am I to demand that she stays? I have no power. I’m not her uncle. I’m not even the battered-up piece of shit who tried to put a knife in me who gets to marry her.
“Thought you’d be down the club celebrating,” a sarcastic chirp comes from behind me. “You guys have wanted to kick those Indians into shape for as long as I’ve been around.” I shift my chair around, wondering how long Rogue has been out on her deck. She lights up a blunt and takes a seat, kicking her legs up on the wood railings separating us.
“Ain’t got much to celebrate,” I tell her, deciding Rogue’s a safe bet. She ain’t a talk your problems out kind of girl.
“Bitch trouble, huh?” She clicks her jaw from side to side, producing three impressive smoke rings. She must have been learning from Grimm.
“Summit like that,” I shrug, reaching for the blunt when she offers it through the railings.
“Well, you know what they say, handsome. No bitches, no drama.” She smiles, the scary kind of smile that sets you on edge around her.
“Don’t hear Grimm saying that these days.” I grin before I take back a long, drawn-out toke, inhaling deep into my chest and hoping it’ll replace the emptiness that's settled there.
“Hey, I’m a drama-free zone.” She bats her eyelashes, and I shake my head instead of answering her. Rogue is the main cause of this war with Ivan. She was the one who started slaughtering his men. Still, if it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t have figured out what he was doing to our town until it was too late.
“All I’m sayin' is…” She leans over the railings and takes the joint back from my fingers “…ask yourself if she’s worth the drama, and if the answer’s yes, then go getcha girl.” She starts to head back inside.
“It ain’t that simple. Rogue.”
She looks over her shoulder and raises her perfectly shaped eyebrows at me. “Since when was anything simple worth having?”
“What were you thinking?” Dyanni attacks me the moment I step through the door to our home. “Choosing one of them over your own. Do you know how seriously hurt Tawk is?”
“And do you know what it could have meant for us all if he had killed Troj?” I snap back. After what just happened, I have no tolerance left inside me. The way Troj rushed away from me after kissing me is so confusing. It’s bad enough that I already have no experience when it comes to men, especially men like him. What am I supposed to do now? Avoid him? Tell him how I feel? Why does all this have to be so difficult?
“Tawk wanted to fight for our people, he made a mistake. But he’s hurting and you should be with him. Not pining over some brutal outlaw. Your uncle is furious.” Dyanni’s looking pretty angry with me too. Her arms are crossed and her lips set tight.
“Where’s Tawk now?” I ask, taking a calm breath so I can focus on the here and now, and not what just happened at the club.
“Your uncle and aunt are with him over at his place, your aunt cleaned him up but he’s in a bad way,” she informs me, her eyes still narrow and unforgiving as they stare into mine. “It should have been you taking care of him, Shaniya. Do you even love him?”
“Wow, what is it with people and that question today?” I blurt out, feeling the tears starting to attack my eyes.
Dyanni looks confused, so I quickly answer her. “I understand why my uncle chose Tawk for me. But no, I don’t love him,” I answer honestly.
