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I wouldn’t know how to be around Shaniya right now. I’m not the man she fell in love with anymore. Maybe he never even existed, maybe I invented that version of myself especially for her to love.
I never did recognize myself when I was around her.
Was I ever a man who deserved her? That man who was determined to preserve her innocence and do right by her.
Did I forget somewhere that I’m a fighter, a killer?
A Dirty-fuckin’-Soul.
Did Shaniya appeal to me because she was the opposite of everything I’ve ever known?
I should have left our fairy tale back in the woods instead of dragging her into this horror story.
I stand in the shower, staring at the tiled wall in front of me. I know I need to get out soon, Prez has called church for three pm, and I can’t be late, not when it’s over something so important.
We’re putting a plan in place, one that will see those fuckers pay for what they did. I have to focus on that, and not worry about what will fill the emptiness inside me once justice has been served.
Stepping out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and head through to my bedroom. I jump when I see Rogue standing in my kitchen, with her arms folded over her chest.
“You come to lay another one on me?” I ask, pulling a hand through my soaked wet hair, her eyes drop to my chest and abs and she gets distracted from what she came here to say.
“I came to tell you that Shaniya got discharged this morning. I just took her back to the reserve.” Hearing her name, and knowing that she’s close again feels like a fresh torture, and I do a real good job of hiding that.
“Thanks for letting me know.” I scratch at my stubble and wait for her to take the cue and leave.
“It was a good job that native boy was there to take care of her,” Rogue adds with a fake smile, waiting for my reaction.
Not today, sunshine.
I make sure my face remains calm on the outside, but inside, my blood is pumping venom. She ain't about to get that satisfaction though, she’ll only use it against me.
“You don’t fool me, ya know. You’ve always hidden all your hurt behind that pretty boy smile, pretending you're okay on the inside. And now that you’re hurting more than ever, you’re hiding behind anger.” She laughs at me, storming out my cabin and shaking the rafters when she slams the door.
I throw on some clothes and pick my cut up on the way to the door and when I open it, I’m shocked as fuck to see Tawk standing on the other side of it.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asks me straight out, his chest all puffed out and a scowl on his face.
“Tawk, now ain’t the time to be trying to pick a fight with me.” I go to move past him but he steps in my way. “You done with her now, the pretty and innocent native girl not appealing to you anymore?” he pushes, and I feel all my rage working itself to my fists.
“I’m doing the decent thing and warning you, don’t try and push me.” I look him in the eye, letting him know this ain't an idle threat. I will make him hurt, again.
“She needs you.” His voice comes out weak and laced with hate.
“So everyone keeps telling me.” I move around him and climb onto my bike. “I’m doing what's best for her, this is what I should have done in the first place,” I explain.
“So that's it, you just move on? You leave her and get on with your life?” he asks before I get a chance to start up my engine.
“All I can do right now is focus on killing the men that did that to her,” I admit, watching his stance change.
“You know where to find these men?” he looks at me, confused.
“That's where I need to be right now.”
“I want in,” Tawk tells me without hesitation.
“This is club business. Go back to your village, and practice shooting your arrows,” I tell him spitefully, starting up my engine and pulling off toward the club.
I stride into church and try to ignore the judgment on everyone’s face when I step inside, no one here understands me, especially the ones who got old ladies. Yeah, their bitches have all had their fair share of shit, and they’ve come through it, but how much of that shit has been on them?
