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“We know he was working with Cooper, some kinda silent partner. We never saw him, ever. I swear.” He’s crying now, because he’s got nothing left to tell me, and he knows I’m gonna kill him.
“You raped her.” I stare the fucker right in his terrified eyes. “You did that on an order?”
“I’m sorry. I’m… Please don’t shoot me,” he sobs pitifully, and I smile back at him.
“I’m not gonna shoot you,” I shake my head at him. “You're gonna wish I had though.” I toss the gun away and lift the man up from the floor by fisting the front of his hair. I raise my knee into his guts and drop him back to the floor, stamping my boot into his face over and over again. Dropping to my knees, I slam my fists into his body repeatedly. His blood warms my skin as my knuckles tear through his flesh and the strength inside me feels unstoppable. My arms don’t tire and I don’t falter. Not even when the man’s heart stops beating in his chest. This feels too good, the only real distraction from thinking about all her suffering.
I stop when I need to catch a breath, and sit back on my knees. I stare up at the stars and squeeze my bloody fists together before I let out the scream I’ve been holding inside me since all this happened. Then with the strength of a thousand armies inside me, I pick myself up off the floor and charge back in the house to spill more blood.
There’s silence in the cage on the way back home. Squeal clutches his arm, stopping the blood from another bullet wound he’s collected, while Storm breathes through his nostrils like a bull, and staring at the floor in front of us. I always had a sense Storm could be dangerous, but what he did back at that house was inhumane. He’s still got the blood around his mouth from where he bit the ear off the fucker who he’d requested to kill. He’d smashed that man’s skull into the ground until it busted open like a watermelon, and then he kept on going. It took both Skid and Jessie to pull him away, and if anyone ever had any doubt that he wasn’t cut out for this shit, tonight just proved them all wrong.
Credit to Tawk, he put up a good fight too, judging from the paleness of his skin I’d say he’s never killed a man before tonight, maybe he’ll go back to Shaniya a different man for it. Not that that makes me feel any better.
Grimm covered all the basics before we went. We left the place as clean of us as possible, with just enough evidence to suggest things went wrong between Alteo and Cooper.
Roswell can take care of the rest.
I’m fucked off that we still don’t have the name of the man who orchestrated this, and that one of the four men on my kill list wasn’t there. But I have his name and his face, so he’s on borrowed time.
When we arrive back at the club, the girls are still waiting up. Each of them rushes to their man, relieved he made it back in one piece and I head for the bar, stopping when I catch a sight of her in the corner of my eye.
I have to look twice because she can’t really be here. If she’s here it means I have to face her, and there ain’t enough liquor stocked behind that bar for me to do that.
She’s got her wrist in plaster, and bruises all over her face, and despite her being quite some distance from me I’m sure I can see a cut through her lip. She doesn’t move, just looks back at me with her eyes willing me to go to her.
I just can’t face it. I wouldn’t know what to say to her. My decisions did this to her, I should have learned from years ago that I was never very good at them.
SIXTEEN YEARS OLD
“Good fight, kid,” here’s ya cut. Autumn’s friend puts five hundred dollars in my hand. Five hundred, for ten minutes of work.
“I got another one next weekend, outta state, where you can double that,” he tells me.
“I can’t,” I tell him, it’s not that I’m not tempted, but I can’t leave Mom for that long. She never leaves the house these days, she’s getting worse, and going home just keeps getting harder.
“You know your brother’s making triple that where he is. You should learn from him, get out of this town, you got talent, a lot of it,” he tells me before he moves on to watch the next fight.
I leave the warehouse and pull my bike out from behind the dumpster, tucking the cash in my sock and riding my way home. I stop and meet with Luzo on the way, and he gives me the junk Mom needs. My body’s tired, and I wanna switch my brain off but I know that ain’t gonna happen. I try calling Autumn to tell him how my fight went, but he doesn’t answer, he’s probably partying with his new buddies. He hasn’t looked back since he left town two months ago. He doesn’t seem to give a shit that he lost the chance at going pro, not while his pockets are lined with cash and he continues to win.
I wonder if I’ll ever get that? Fighting for fun instead of survival.
When I get home I know something's wrong the minute I open the door. She’s not pacing, or waiting for me to bring her fix. I’m greeted with silence and the vinegary aroma that I’ve come to know well. I immediately barge through the darkness toward her room. The light’s dim, and I can tell from the way she’s lying on the bed that she’s not okay. There's foam on the pillow by her mouth and when I grab at her to shake her, she’s cold. The shirt she's wearing has been ripped open, and her syringe and spoon are discarded on the floor, along with a torn condom wrapper.
“Mom.” I shake her body hard. She’s passed out before, but never like this. I can’t feel a pulse and that makes me panic.
“Mom, wake up.” I slap her cheek and shake her some more, but get nothing out of her.
My hand fumbles into my pocket and I pull out my cell.
“911, what's your emergency?”
“My mom, she’s… I think she’s… Mom.” I shake her again because this can’t be fucking happening. I help her keep it maintained, I keep her off the streets, where the fuck did she get this shit from? She doesn’t leave the trailer.
I manage to focus and give the operator our address, and I hold her body in my arms feeling her grow colder as I wait for them to arrive. The trailer fills up with blue lights and the small space around us becomes invaded. The paramedics take her from me and lay her out flat on the floor. They do things to her, but none of it works.
And I watch on and pray she’ll come back.
I knew she was vulnerable, I should never have left her.
