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“You don’t want me to?” She looks back at me, confused, and I swear she sounds a little cut up about it.
“I…I…” How the fuck am I supposed to answer that?
“I’d like to please you, Screwy. I think you’d like it.” The girl’s talking like she thinks I’ve never gotten head before, and it only proves how innocent she is.
I lower myself to kneel in front of her, my hand moving to cradle her cheek because my heart is breaking for her.
“That's not how things work around here.” I feel like I’m lying because, actually, it kinda is. Only difference is, all the women here are fucking willing– they ain't brainwashed or trained. They choose this life. They come to us, and no one is forced to stay.
“So, how does it work? How can I make you see how grateful I am?” she asks, and I feel myself slowly being drawn to her. My lips part as I get closer, and before I can talk myself out of what I'm doing, they connect with hers.
I kiss her so tenderly like I’m scared she might break, and I get so consumed by how sweet she tastes on my lips that I fucking absorb her.
This is a weakness I can never give into again, and so I savor it.
Her hands start to move, slowly sliding up my arms and shoulders to cling around my neck, and she uses them to draw me deeper. I allow myself to be absorbed for far too long, and when her body shifts and her legs start to wrap around my waist, I force her away. Breaking my lips away from hers while I still have the strength.
“I shouldn’t have done that.” I stand up, putting enough space between us to allow me to breathe. Her fingers lift to her lips, and she touches over where we kissed. Where I want them to be again and again, and before I dive back in and take them, I shoot out of the room and lock myself in the bathroom so she’s safe.
Pressing my forehead into the door, I scratch at the wood with my nails. My cock's still hard and begs me to go back to her. But I can’t. She doesn't know what she wants. This is all she knows. This isn’t reality, not for either of us. It's barely been a few days, and I can already feel her leaving a dent in my soul. One that I know is never gonna be fulfilled once she's gone.
I’ve done some fucked up shit with some pretty messed up girls in my time, but that shit right there was hands down the most mind-blowing of them all. And if that girl could do that to me with just a fucking kiss, I got no doubt that she’ll be what destroys me.
“I got a shift at the garage,” Screwy growls at me when he finally comes out of the bathroom. There’s a towel wrapped around the bottom half of his body, and his wet skin creates a strange flutter in the pit of my stomach. It’s almost as strong as the one I felt when he kissed me.
I have the feeling he doesn’t want to talk about that, though.
Screwy is a hard man to understand. He’s tense and angry most of the time. I often wonder why he saved me, especially when I feel like such a burden to him. But then there are moments like the one we just shared, where it feels like he cares for me.
It’s just another puzzle in this confusing world I’ve found myself in.
Screwy moves past me, refusing to make eye contact, and it stamps all over the elated feeling I had having his lips on mine. For so long I dreaded having my trainer’s hands on me, but I seem to yearn to feel his.
“Do you want breakfast?” I ask, keeping my eyes pointing downwards. If Screwy doesn't want to look at me, I assume that he doesn't want me looking at him either.
“I’ll grab something down at the club.” He comes back out of his room wearing some worn jeans and stretches a black T-shirt over his wide chest. The same chest I'd felt so safe against when he came to me on the floor and crushed my nightmare.
“You need to speak with Maddy and Alex today. Start figuring out how we’re gonna get you home.” He grabs the leather vest, that matches all the other members and drags his tattooed hand through his still-damp hair.
I want to tell him that I’m not ready for that yet. I’m scared, and in just the few days I’ve been here, I’m already starting to feel like this could be my home.
But I have a strong feeling that’s not what he wants to hear, and so I say nothing.
Screwy leaves without saying goodbye, and I try to pretend it doesn’t hurt me.
After a long shower and choosing something to wear from the pile of clothes Alex lent me, I sit and wonder what I should do with myself for the rest of the day. Screwy tells me there are no Masters here, but he gave me an order before he left. He wants me to speak to Alex and Maddy. I know where they both live, but I don’t know if I can just turn up uninvited. Still, it’s important to Screwy that I talk to them, and as much as I feel like I could happily stay here alone. I know that’s not an option.
I should want to know where I came from. The thought that, somewhere out there, I had a family who missed me is what kept me going while I was locked away. The memory of the woman who called me by my name is a happy one. I’m sure she’s my mother, and I owe it to her to find her again.
I head out the door by myself for the first time since I’ve been free. The sun is bright, and I take a few seconds to breathe in the fresh air appreciatively. When I look over to the cabin that belongs to Maddy, I see her door is slightly open. So, that’s the one I walk toward, taking deep breaths and wondering what I can say to start the conversation.
Last night it was easy at the club, all the girls were so kind to me. I really have no reason to be nervous around them. I just can’t help wishing Screwy was with me.
When I step up onto the porch, I hear voices. The people inside are mid-conversation, and it’s rude to interrupt.
“Jessie, I really think you’re being paranoid,” I recognize Maddy’s voice first.
“Paranoid? You were there, Mads, you saw how much money that girl is worth to them. 750,000 dollars is a lot of fuckin’ money to lose. You think they're just gonna let that go? And then there's the five-man killing spree that Screwy had a private fucking party with. I just want you and the girls to be ready.” I quietly creep closer to the door, needing to know more, when I realize they’re talking about me and the people who I escaped from.
