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It’s not another woman that Rick has laid out on the grotty couch he keeps out here. It’s Beth.
He’s crouched over her with his jeans around his ankles. And Beth is beneath him, still and static with her eyes squeezed shut.
I want to run, I want to scream, but my voice won’t work, and my feet won’t move. I can’t even close my eyes because I’m frozen in shock. And so I’m forced to watch, silenced by fear and reeling in anger.
What he’s doing to her is wrong. I should stop him. But how? If I charge in there, it’ll only make him angrier.
I will for him to stop, praying that this is all a sick nightmare that I’ll wake up from. And just when I don’t think things can get worse, Beth’s eyes open and immediately make contact with mine through the glass.
She looks scared and ashamed as tears roll out of her eyes and onto the burnt orange couch.
I want to barge in and rip Rick off her. But I’m nowhere near strong enough, and the slight shake of her head that Beth gives me tells me she knows that too.
“You're a good girl, Beth,” Rick praises her, and when he strokes his dirty hand over her face, my stomach rolls. That knot that’s formed in my chest tightens, making it harder for me to breathe, and I quickly turn my back on the scene in front of me.
I want to run back to my room and hide under my covers. Pretend this never happened. But I don’t want to leave her out here alone.
I slide my back down against the wood cladding until my ass hits the ground, and I fist at the dry earth beneath my hands, scratching my nails through the dirt just so I’ve got something to do with my hands while I force myself to listen to her terrified whimpers and punish myself for being such a coward.
I’m weak and pathetic. Too scared of the man hurting my sister to save her. Last time Rick beat me, it was so bad he had to take me to the emergency room after. He made me tell Mama and the nurses that I fell off a ladder.
Why can’t I be more like Cody? He wouldn’t be sitting out here listening to our sister get hurt like a pussy. He’d fight, he’d bleed, and he’d fucking die before he let anyone hurt her.
Rick’s loud grunt echoes from the other side of the wall, and when I hear his footsteps coming toward the door, I quickly scurry to my feet. My heart beats in my chest so hard it feels like it’ll burst out, and when the door opens, I stand firm, ready to confront him.
I want him to know that I see him and that I know what he’s done. But when he looks down at me, there’s no shame on his face, just a snigger.
“You got something to say, boy?” he asks, throwing his fist into the wall beside my head, and making the whole structure rattle. I flinch, holding up my arms to guard my face, though I don’t know why. He never strikes there.
“I didn’t think so.” He cackles at me before heading back toward the house, stumbling onto the porch and disappearing inside.
I wait until the door slams shut before I rush into the shed to comfort Beth.
She’s balled up on the couch, with her knees tucked up to her chest, and when I reach out to touch her, she stiffens.
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s just me,” I assure her, and when her body relaxes a little, I take the space on the couch beside her and wrap her up in my arms.
“I’m sorry, Beth,” I whisper, watching her break down helplessly into silent tears.
“You can’t tell Mama or Cody. You have to promise me,” she sobs, trying her best to be brave.
“We have to tell someone.” I squeeze her tighter, wishing I could make her pain go away.
“No, you can’t.” She turns to face me, her eyes swollen and wild with terror.
“He’ll take Foxy away.” She grips at my arm so desperately it makes me shudder. “I can blank it all out. I’ve learned how to.”
“Learned how to? Beth, how long has he been doing this to you?” God, I fear her answer more than the man himself.
“Just a few months, and it only happens when he’s drunk. But he’s dangerous.
I know he beats on you and Cody, and he’s got all kinds of weapons in his lock-up. I don’t want him to hurt me the way he hurts you, too. He’s told me he’ll take Foxy, and I know he will. This has to stay between us, please.” She cries into my chest, and I hold on to her so tight I fear I might hurt her.
“Promise me,” she eventually looks back up at me, drying her eyes with her hand and seeming so helpless. “You have to.”
“I promise,” I speak the words numbly. “But you're not doing this alone anymore. I’ll be here for you, Beth. Right outside that door. I’ll suffer right beside you until I’m big enough to take him on.”
“And then what?” She looks up at me, a tiny spark of hope glistening in her sad eyes.
