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“This isn’t gonna change anything,” I assure him, my hand sliding up to his bearded jaw. And his eyes close when he places his hand over mine. He turns his face just enough to plant a gentle kiss against my palm. And when he opens his eyes, I see how much he wants to believe that’s true.
“I can’t lose you now. I told you that.” His low voice speaks straight to my chest.
“You’re not gonna lose me. Not ever,” I promise.
“They deserve to know you.” His eyes glance down at the address.
“And they will, in time. They will know both of us because you are a part of me now,” I remind him.
“I ain’t the kind of guy a girl takes home to her folks. I’m a fucking outlaw and a damn sight older than you.”
I disagree with him. Surely any parent would be grateful to the man who saved their daughter, even if his lifestyle was a little questionable.
“I’m not leaving you, Screwy,” I promise, watching his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows. “Let’s not think about this right now. I’ll talk to Grace tomorrow, and we’ll let Maddy do some more investigating. I want to know more about my old life before we make any calls.”
“Whatever you need.” Screwy nods back, still seeming unconvinced.
“I need you. Always.” I feel a warmth spread across my chest when he returns my smile.
“Come here.” He pulls me against him, crossing his arms around the small of my back, and his head lowers so our foreheads touch.
“What do we do now?” I whisper, hoping this isn’t going to hang over us like a black cloud.
“Well, first I’m gonna feed you, and then I plan on spending the rest of my evening inside you.” His smirk is the devilish kind that makes me ache for him.
“Sounds perfect.”
“They’re good people,” Maddy explains, biting into her apple. It’s been a whole twenty-four hours since we found out about my family. And now I’ve had a chance for it to sink in. I'm ready to hear about who I am.
“Your father’s a broker, and your mama is a lady of leisure. No siblings. You must have been their everything.” She pulls her black-framed glasses down over her eyes.
“Your mama does a lot for charity. The farmhouse they live in doesn’t seem to be a working farm.” Her eyes flit over to Screwy, who’s sitting beside me, his hand crushing mine like a vice. “No criminal records,” she adds, and he nods at her gratefully.
“Everything’s in here. Well, as much as I could put together in such a short time.” She slides the brown file across to me, and I take it, clutching it to my chest like it’s some kind of lost treasure. “I really think you should talk to Grace. It’s a huge deal being fed this information rather than remembering it.”
I nod back, knowing she’s right. I do need to speak to Grace. But all I want to do is read what I’ve got in my hands.
“I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be home until twelve if you need me for anything.” She strokes my arm before she moves to see herself out.
“I’m gonna take this out onto the deck and read,” I tell Screwy. Standing up and making my way toward the double doors.
“You want me to come with?” he asks, and I sense how helpless he feels. He didn’t sleep last night. He just sat up, staring into the darkness, with his hands stroking my hair. I know because I only pretended to sleep myself.
There is so much locked away in Screwy’s head. I hate that he refuses to share his burdens with me, and I hate even more that I’ve become one of those burdens.
“Just stay close,” I smile back sadly.
Outside, the air is fresh, and the sun is reflecting beautifully onto the lake. It’s a gorgeous day for reading. I know that I used to enjoy it. The smell of Grace’s bookcase is familiar enough to tell me that.
She offered to lend me some when she caught me stroking over the spines. I never took her up on the offer. Maybe I should have.
I shake my head when I realize I’m distracting myself from what's important.
Screwy steps outside, giving me my space by taking a seat on the floor in the opposite corner to me. His head leans back against the cabin wall, and his arms dangle over his knees. I love how he wants to be here for me but still allows me distance.
And it gives me the courage to take a long, deep breath and open the file.
Maddy is organized, everything is arranged in date order, so naturally, the first document is a photocopy of my birth certificate.
