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“What are you talking about?” Essie reluctantly popped the last bite into her mouth. If only she didn’t have to finish it.
“When we were first married, all I could think about was how I hoped you would not change my life. I did not want an intrusion into my sanctuary. I thought that was what I needed to stay sane. I did not consider what you would need or want.” Farrendel stared at his hands, sticking and unsticking his fingers together. “I did not think I could adapt to anything else.”
“I was a stranger. Of course that’s what you were worried about. It wasn’t like I was unselfishly thinking about you when we got married either.” Essie would have reached out to him, but her own fingers were sticky and he would not appreciate it. “I was mostly thinking about the adventure and getting to explore Tarenhiel.”
“Yet you still went into the marriage expecting to adapt to elven culture. You expected to give up your home, your people, while I gave up nothing.” His mouth flattened into an even tighter line.
This time, Essie did reach out and take his hands, stickiness and all. “That’s what is expected in a marriage alliance.”
Farrendel stared down at their clasped hands, going on as if he hadn’t heard her. “Perhaps it would be expected for a marriage alliance like Melantha’s. She is now queen of Kostaria. She had to give up her home, her people, and her place in Tarenhiel’s line of succession.”
Essie tried not to react at the mention of Melantha. Farrendel spoke her name without flinching. If anything, his voice still held warmth and affection, and Essie wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
Sure, Melantha had saved Farrendel’s life. She had also been the one to put it at risk in the first place. Perhaps it was good that Farrendel had forgiven her, but Essie wasn’t going to let Melantha put him in danger ever again. Was it wrong that she was a tiny bit glad that Melantha was now tied to Kostaria and there would always be distance between her and Farrendel?
Essie shrugged and stuck to the topic they had been discussing. “That’s how marriage alliances have always been done. That’s why my brother pushed for a second marriage alliance.”
“Yes, but it does not have to be that way. Not for us.” Farrendel held up their joined hands, finally looking up to meet her gaze. “We are the bridge between our kingdoms. If you were given to Tarenhiel, then I was given to Escarland just as much. I see that now.”
Essie blinked at him, her mind whirling. Why had she never put that together? She had come close, a few times, but she had still overlooked what Farrendel had seen, perhaps because he had not been raised with the culture of a marriage alliance ingrained into him the way she had.
She and Farrendel were free in a way most marriage alliance couples weren’t. They were both far enough down the lines of succession that they were in no danger of ever inheriting a throne.
Essie squeezed his hands. “What you’re saying is that we are not tied to only one kingdom but could serve both. That’s what we have been doing. We have been encouraging trade. We have been visiting charities on both sides of the border. We have shown that our two kingdoms can work together.”
“Yes, but we can do more.” Farrendel gestured at himself—from his Escarlish haircut now long enough to brush his collar to his suspenders and human outfit—with their clasped hands. “Look at me now. I have learned that I can adapt. It might take me longer and in my own way, but I can do it. I am happy here, more than I ever thought possible.”
“That’s good. I want to visit my family often.” Essie leaned forward and kissed his cheek. When she leaned back, she decided she wasn’t going to mention the fact that she had accidentally smeared cinnamon roll frosting on his face.
“Time with your family is precious and short. Far shorter than the time I have left with my family. A hundred years from now, I do not want us to have any regrets.” He met her gaze again, his posture strangely tense and stiff, as if what he was about to say meant a great deal to him. “I do not want to merely visit your family. If you agree, I would like to split our time between Tarenhiel and Escarland. We can make our home in both kingdoms.”
Essie’s breath caught in her chest, her fingers tightening on his to a point it was probably painful. “Do you mean that? Truly?”
“Yes. And, when we are in Tarenhiel, we will have to invite your family to stay with us. Perhaps we can have more rooms grown below the lift by our set of rooms so that your family can stay on the forest floor where they will be more comfortable.” Farrendel’s gaze searched her face, as if worried about her reaction. “What do you think?”
“It...” Essie couldn’t manage to get any more words out. Instead, she let go of Farrendel’s hands so that she could fling herself forward and hug him instead. “I think it’s wonderful!”
Farrendel’s arms went around her, though she could feel the way he kept his hands, still sticky from their breakfast, away from her. Unlike the way she had buried her sticky fingers in his hair. She pressed her face against his shoulder, feeling the burn of tears against her eyelids.
When she had married Farrendel, she had expected to give up her home, her family, her people, in order to fully adopt his. Yet, here he was giving all those things back to her. Even better, he was telling her he was willing to adopt her family, her home, her people as his.
It was the best present he had given her—outside of the gift of his heart and himself. Better than all the roses and cinnamon rolls in the world.
Farrendel huffed a laugh, then pulled away from her. “Do you have any plans for today?”
“Nothing I can’t cancel, why?” Essie sat back, gathering the paper bag and their napkins.
“Would you like to come with me to Lance’s workshop? I have some things I would like to show you.” Farrendel glanced down at his hands again before peering up at her.
This also meant a lot to him. He must have something he desperately wanted to show off. And, after wondering for months what he did all day over at Lance’s, Essie wasn’t about to turn him down. “Of course, I’ll come. If I take a pen and paper, I can start brainstorming ideas to make living in two kingdoms actually feasible. Before we go, I suppose we should wash our hands first.”
“Yes.” Farrendel hopped to his feet, his nose wrinkling as he glared down at his fingers.
“And your face and your hair. I got you thoroughly sticky.” Essie smirked at him as she also slid to her feet, holding up her hands to avoid touching the blankets.
Farrendel’s nose wrinkle deepened, and he all but raced to the water closet.
When they reached Lance’sworkshop, Farrendel gripped Essie’s hand and dragged her past the piles of junk and inventions toward the back of the spacious building.
