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But she was his wife, however it had come about. That meant he owed her a certain level of caring, however much Weylind counseled against it.
Farrendel had two examples in his parents. He had his mother, who had turned her back on him for her own convenience. Weylind did not yet see that this was exactly what Farrendel would be doing if he ignored Princess Elspeth.
Then there was Farrendel’s father. He could have avoided scandal. He could have sent Farrendel away to be raised elsewhere, never truly acknowledged or a part of the family. That would have been the far easier course of action.
Instead, Dacha had taken responsibility and claimed Farrendel as his own. He had faced the scandal head-on and had never backed down when he was challenged about making Farrendel a full member of the royal family.
And when he had died, Weylind had followed his example and had not sent Farrendel away as many in the court had suggested. To this day, he introduced Farrendel as his brother without hesitation, taking the scandal upon himself even though he carried none of the blame.
That was the example Farrendel wanted to follow. That was the kind of choice he wanted to make. The circumstances of this marriage were out of his control, but he could choose how he reacted to them. That started with caring for Princess Elspeth’s wellbeing the best he knew how.
If he could manage it. All the fighting and killing left him so hollow. So broken. What part of himself could he give her when it felt like it took all his strength to just hold himself together?
As they strolled up the gangplank onto the ship, Princess Elspeth turned and waved her arm wildly. It must have been some kind of human farewell custom, for her family, now lined up at the end of the dock, waved their hands back, though less boisterously than the princess did.
As soon as the gangplank was pulled onto the ship, Princess Elspeth grabbed her sack of belongings from him, turning to face him with a wide smile on her face. “Unless you’re fine with me stumbling around in this fancy dress all night, is there any place I can change aboard this vessel? There should be time enough before we reach the other side.”
Farrendel blinked back at her. He had not mentally prepared for what he should do now. Should he take her to his stateroom? Or would she find that presumptuous? Would she rather have her own stateroom? But the only unoccupied ones were deeper in the ship, and he was not sure her dress would fit down the passageway.
He glanced away from her, trying to buy himself time to think. Sindrel and Iyrinder scurried past, heads down, as if fleeing for their lives.
Weylind met his gaze then gestured from Farrendel to Princess Elspeth. Even he appeared bewildered, and he was the one with experience being married. Should not he be the one offering wisdom right now?
Farrendel suppressed a sigh. Weylind was right. He could not rely on others to do this for him. If he had not been prepared to take on the responsibility of caring for her, then he should not have agreed to this marriage.
With a shake of her head and a smile far too wide to be anything but forced, Princess Elspeth spun on her heels and marched away from him. “Never mind. I’ll just explore and find something.”
Had he offended her with his silence? Words. He needed to use his words. If only he could get his brain and his tongue to cooperate. Both seemed to be frozen at the moment.
He forced himself to catch up to her, then pass her. “This way.”
He would take her to his stateroom. It made the most logical sense. He would give her plenty of space once there.
With a plan in place, he led her to the hatch nearest his stateroom in the stern. He went down first, then stood back as she wiggled and maneuvered and wedged her dress through the opening. He would have helped, but he was not sure what she would consider help and what she would consider inappropriate. The last thing he wanted to do was offend her when they had been married all of a few hours.
His room was the second one on the passageway, just past Weylind’s. He opened the door, then stood back to let her enter first. After another round of wiggling, she forced her dress inside.
Beneath them, the ship picked up speed as it pulled away from the wharf. Should he just close the door and leave? Would she want him to guard the door? Was there anything else she needed?
She spun back toward him. “What is powering the ship? Is it magic?”
The ship? Why was she asking about the ship’s propulsion? He managed to dredge up the answer. “Yes.”
She kept staring at him, as if waiting for something. What else did she want? Or need? What was she expecting him to do now?
He stayed in the doorway, not wanting to step into the room and crowd her nor leave and abandon her.
With a shrug, she swept her gaze around the room. He was not sure what she thought of it. It was a standard cabin with a bed grown into the wall and his clothes neatly laid on the shelves. He did not see anything he had left out of place.
“This is a beautiful cabin. It looks like someone is staying here.” Her eyebrows furrowed as she glanced over her shoulder at him.
No avoiding it now. He could not meet her gaze. “It is mine.”
What would she think, him bringing her here? He did not mean anything by it besides giving her a private place to change. Nothing more. They were strangers, and he would demand nothing from her.
Space. She needed space. And he needed it. Desperately.
The moment she glanced away from him, he backed the rest of the way out of the doorway and shut the door swiftly and silently, leaning against it.
