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She was touching him. She was touching his face. It was as if a bolt of his magic went off in his brain and fried every logical thought in his head.
Her smile tipped wider, though something about her remained soft. “I don’t know how scars are viewed by your people, but the only thing I mind about your scars is the suffering you must have gone through to get them. But you survived, and for that, I admire you, scars and all.”
Her words soothed the tension from his spine and released him from the paralysis that had gripped him since he had found her there, watching him.
He forced his fingers to unclench from his shirt, then he sat on the floor, facing her. He still could not dredge up any words, but hopefully if he sat there long enough, she would start talking, saving him from having to do so.
She studied him, her eyebrows furrowed. He could almost see her mind whirling, the thoughts flicking through her eyes.
After several long, silent minutes, she smiled once again. “It’s a good thing you married me, then.”
What had she been thinking about for her to come to that conclusion?
If anything, her smile quirked into something teasing as she gestured at him. “Since I find all of this rather attractive.”
Farrendel gaped. What…had she just…surely she… His brain felt all magic-fried once again. His ears were on fire, and he had to duck his head again, hoping his hair covered his face and ears.
She sighed, and when she spoke, her tone had changed to serious. “We need to talk.”
Farrendel peeked at her but did not move. What did she want from him? It had almost seemed like she was flirting with him. Maybe, he was not sure. Now she was all serious.
He could read a battlefield and outmaneuver his opponents, but simply talking with this human bride of his was the most bewildering situation he had ever been in.
Silence had worked so far. Perhaps it would keep working.
Essie dropped her gaze to her lap, and after a moment, she did indeed start talking again, this time at a rapid, breathless pace. “I need to know what you expect from this marriage and from me. I don’t want to embarrass you or make you regret marrying me any more than you already do, but I don’t know elven culture well. If I’m doing something wrong or there’s something I should know, then please tell me. I won’t always know the right questions to ask.”
Whatheexpected? He had no expectations. If he could process his thoughts quickly enough, then he would ask all those same questions back to her.
But before he could think of anything to say, she drew in a deep breath and kept talking with barely a pause. “I know I’m probably not the wife you expected to marry someday, and you didn’t have any more time to prepare for this wedding than I did. I know love probably isn’t an option, but I’m willing to put an effort into at least making this a really good friendship.”
Wait, love? Friendship? She…she actually wanted that?
“I’m willing to be the person you can trust and confide in and smile with you. But I need to know you’re going to put an effort in too and aren’t just going to go about your day ignoring me. It’s hard to know what you’re thinking when you don’t even talk to me and I don’t know if you find me annoying or you don’t understand half of what I’m saying. I just…” She blew out a breath, her hands gesturing, then flopping into her lap, as she fell silent.
He should not hope. He should not let his heart beat harder, painful, at the thought of smiles and friendship and trust.
It was impossible. He could not risk giving away the shreds that he had left of his heart.
Then again, what did he really have left to lose? If this fell apart, he would simply trade the misery of a war with Escarland for misery of a marriage to a wife who hated him. At least in that case, he would be the only one paying the price.
Besides, his family would still be there. They would protect him as needed. He would not be alone.
But if this actually turned into the friendship she was offering? If this spark he felt in his chest when he looked at her formed into something real?
Essie remained sitting there, watching him with a slight smile playing on her mouth. The morning sunlight glinted in her fiery hair, and he had the sudden urge to run his fingers through its strands.
Words. He had to say something. Anything.
He could not think while looking at her. He dropped his gaze, drew in a deep breath, and forced himself to speak. “I do not want to say anything to offend you.”
Essie’s smile bloomed into a grin, her green eyes sparkling. “You won’t offend me. I’ve been saying the first things that come to my mind this whole time, and I haven’t offended you. Or I don’t think I have. Would you even tell me if I offended you? Will you at least tell me if something I say is considered horribly offensive to elven culture so I know not to say it in the future?”
Of course he would tell her, if he could find the words in the moment. He managed a nod, then forced himself to speak yet again. She had been pouring her heart out to him, and she deserved that he do the same. “I like when you talk.”
She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut, meeting his gaze with something almost like a dare.
Great, she wanted him to talk again?
