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He forced the smile back to his face. He had to act normal, not like she was shaking him to the core. “You can take your pick if you would like.”
Her smile playing across her face, Essie shook her head. “I know you. You like your routines and habits. Your room is usually the one on the right, isn’t it?”
Without thinking, a laugh bubbled in his chest and burst out before he had a chance to stop it. Somehow, Essie had him figured out, for sure. “Yes, it is.”
“Then I’ll take the room on the left.” Essie let go of Farrendel’s hand and headed for the door.
Farrendel remained frozen in place, staring after Essie even once she had shut the door behind her.
It was time to trust her with the truth of himself—of his illegitimacy. Then, once that was done, he would trust her with his heart.
His heart pounded harder just thinking about it. If he let himself fall in love with her, then she would have the power to break him beyond repair.
But this was Essie. He was well on his way to falling in love with herbecausehe could trust her with his heart. She would not hurt him.
No, it was time to tell her that he loved her. And, maybe, before they left Lethorel, he might even work up the courage to kiss her.
* * *
Farrendel satwith his back to their cottage, his arm around Essie. She snuggled against him, a blanket around her shoulders.
The day had been nearly as wonderful as he had hoped. He had mildly panicked when Essie had jumped into the lake with what she had called acannonball. But the water fight had erased the panic with her laughter.
And then Weylind had gotten a message that the trolls had raided the border. But as long as the raids remained minor, they would not call for Farrendel’s help. It was tough, but he was trying to put thoughts of the war and possibly getting called away out of his mind so he could enjoy the evening.
He should tell her that he was illegitimate. The two of them were alone. He would not get a better opportunity.
Yet he could not bring himself to break the quiet relaxation of this moment with something as serious as that.
Perhaps he should instead tell her that he was falling in love with her. But he could not confess that until he confessed his illegitimacy.
And that left him stuck in silence.
The evening faded into the gray of twilight as the last light of the sunset disappeared from between the trees.
“I can see why you love this place so much.” Essie’s head remained pillowed on his shoulder as she spoke. “It is beautiful. And peaceful.”
Down below, a light flickered along the lake. Then another light flashed and winked out.
Essie lifted her head for a moment. “Fireflies!”
Farrendel nodded, a smile tugging at his mouth. He had known Essie would love the fireflies here at Lethorel. “Yes.”
Essie rested her head against his shoulder again as more fireflies winked all along the lakeside among the trees. More fireflies blinked in the willow branches of Lethorel, a host of tiny dots of light among the darkening forest. A magic that was peaceful and natural, unlike Farrendel’s magic.
Another thing he had yet to tell Essie. What would she think when she saw his magic? Worse, what would she think when she found out just how deadly he was when he used it? She knew he was Laesornysh. But a vague knowing was different thanknowing.
Perhaps he would never have to show her that part of himself. He did his best to keep the Laesornysh part of himself isolated at the border, even if it still seeped into his entire life despite his best efforts.
“Farrendel?” Essie tilted her face up to peer at him.
He realized that he had stiffened. He forced his muscles to relax. “I am fine.”
“You were thinking about the trolls and the message Weylind received, weren’t you?” Essie reached over and took his hand.
Close enough. He nodded and squeezed her fingers. “I am enjoying the evening. It is just…”
“You worry. I am learning how your mind works.” She patted his chest, a gesture she had been doing more often lately. He was not sure what had made her start, but he appreciated it. Her touch drew his attention to her and out of whatever spiraling thoughts had taken over his head at any given moment.
