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Maceo sighs heavily. “At least every other night. The first week it was nightly and sometimes multiples in one night. This is only the second time I’ve seen it while she’s fully awake. I’ve been going with her to a PTSD counselor regularly, and it’s helping, but it’s a process. There’s no quick fix for what she went through. All the intense emotions probably sent her spiraling into one.”
My mom sniffles. “She had one because I touched her?”
Maceo shakes his head. “No. I bet it was already building, and when you brushed her bruises, it was the catalyst. Usually, Hades can sense when she’s about to have one and alerts me.”
“Hades?” my dad questions.
“Our Cane Corso. Well, Josephine’s dog, my dog by association—he loves her more.”
Shameful tears threaten to breakthrough, but I will them away. I’m not brave enough to admit to Maceo while he was gone I had multiple night terrors every night, to the point Punk and Reaper, Maceo’s brothers, had to restrain me. Hades would lay awake all night long, whimpering when he sensed one coming on. The guys would spring into action and hold me as the attack would seize my body. I’d scream and thrash before gasping for air to the point I would pass out.
Opal offered to fill in one night for the guys, and apparently, during my attack, I punched her in the boob and gave her a welt. Afterward, the guys decided it would only be them who would take my unintentional beatings.
Punk, Maceo’s fourth-in-command, has been a supportive friend and has gone with me to my counseling appointments while Maceo was gone, but I know the only reason I’m having them is because it feel like I’m being watched. I’d get these chills for no reason and uneasiness settles in my gut like I’m hyperaware of my surroundings. It’s bad enough knowing Maceo will lose his shit once he hears Punk and Reaper restrained me, but he’s going to fly off the handle knowing it’s because I feel I’m being followed.
Maceo’s job requires him to travel for extensive periods. I can’t be freaking out like I’ve been when he’s gone. I’m completely torn on if I should tell him how bad it’s been, especially now since he told my parents I’m getting better. I’m also afraid he may suspect I’m unhinged if I tell him I have the creepy sensation of being watched, or he, himself, will go mad thinking its Esteban Moreno—his arch-nemesis—is coming after me.
Eventually, I’m able to calm down. I slide off Maceo’s lap, embarrassed my parents witnessed it. Maceo gives me a tender look and kisses my temple. “You better, Josephine?”
I want to laugh in his face. I’m definitely not better with my parents sitting here on pins and needles, praying I hear them out. This is not something I want to deal with at the moment, but I know my mom and her relentless manner will not back off until she speaks her peace.
“No,” I answer him honestly. If I’m going to suffer because he opened the door to my parents, he’s going to suffer right along with me. The long sigh he gives in response lets me know he’s well aware.
My mom tries again to engage me. “Jo, honey? You don’t need to say anything to us today, but can we at least tell you how sorry we are?”
Eager to get this shit over with, I nod curtly.
“How we treated you after splitting from Jacob is inexcusable. You were vulnerable and wanted to come back home where you felt safe. I can’t tell you how many times I curse myself about our mistreatment of you.
“Yes, we liked Jacob, but clearly, we didn’t know him. We were caught off guard, much like you had been, and acted irrationally—similar to how you quit your job. You’re such a levelheaded person, and it scared us how emotional you were behaving. The whole situation was handled poorly by everyone involved, and I don’t blame you for hating our guts. I hate myself enough for the both of us,” my mom admits.
I know they feel bad because my parents don’t apologize for anything unless they’re truly in the wrong. It feels sincere, but fuck them if they think I’m going to roll over and suddenly be okay with the whole situation.
I clear my throat. “Are you guys planning on staying here in Fort Collins?”
My dad answers. “We plan on staying through the wedding and moving here.”
Come again?“Um, what about Simone?”
My mom waves her hand dismissively. “We hardly see your sister. She’s busy with her job and traveling all the time. Us moving isn’t going to affect her. She can travel here to visit all of us the two times a year we see her.”
“I plan on coming out of retirement and finding a welding job around town,” Dad continues. “Stella told the high school she’s retiring to help take care of our grandbabies.”
My head snaps to Maceo. He pales.
“Maceooo!” I growl. I know he’s eager for kids, but this is over the top. I’m not ready to forgive my parents, much less having them move here to help raise our future kids.
He looks at me with wide eyes and bites his bottom lip. “I may have mentioned something about you building a cottage for them here on the property.”
“For Christ’s sake, Maceo!” I get off the couch, needing some distance.
He’s on his feet too. “Baby—”
“Don’t you ‘baby’ me! I’m fucking burning the candle at both ends between finishing the MC headquarters, planning our wedding, working on our plans for our own house, preparing to start Lloyd’s new barbershop, and going to counseling daily. Now I have to start plans for a cottage for my parents who want to watch our nonexistent children?!”
Mom gasps. “You’re not pregnant?”
My head whips to her. “No, I’m not!”
