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“Josephine would never believe you’re a creep, and trust me, the girl knows creeps. As for your actions, I’d say you’ve suffered enough for it,” I say, eyeing his crotch. “But you better not jack off to daydreams of my woman, so help me God, I will not be cool with it.”
Punk sniggers and raises his right hand. “I swear I won’t rub it out to mental images of my sister, you perverted bastard.”
We both start laughing, the day’s events making us slap-happy.
I smile, pondering how potent my woman’s aroma must have been to do the damage she caused. I’m a damn connoisseur of all my woman’s natural scents, knowing how delicious she can be. I can only imagine what the pheromone oil did to magnify her potency. She must have been enthralling.
“Man, your thoughts are loud.” Punk reaches into his cut and produces an eyedropper bottle with an Italian label. He slides it down the coffee table toward me. “Here it is—the ultimate weapon of women and the demise of all mankind.”
I pick up the tiny bottle and open it to smell the contents.
“It doesn’t smell like anything until you apply it, I guess. Jo bought a shit ton, but don’t worry, I confiscated it. It’s locked up in the safe back by the offices. We cannot afford to have any of the women living here getting their hands on this stuff. They would bring this whole crew to our knees.”
“What do you think it really is?”
Punk scratches his head. “I think it’s pheromone oil laced with uncut Poppers.”
That would make sense. Poppers are anintenseliquid drug that gives an instant high and causes extreme euphoric effects. They’ve been used as sexual enhancers for years. Add the pheromone oil, and you have yourself a new form of Ecstasy.
Curious, I take the eyedropper and place a dab on my finger before applying it to my neck. I lean over to Punk. “What do I smell like, bro?”
“Get the fuck out of here, Prez. I ain’t gonna sniff your damn neck.”
“What? You afraid you’re going to find me attractive all of a sudden? News alert—you already know I am. Stop being a turd and smell me.”
Punk glares at me but leans in to take a whiff. He sits back and looks at me quizzically, his eyes slightly glassy. “You smell like nature—like a pine forest in winter or damp hiking trail covered in leaves.”
“Really? That’s awfully specific. Josephine always tells me I smell woodsy.” I dab a drop on my wrist and sniff for myself.
Punk snaps his fingers. “That’s it—woodsy. Give me some of that shit, I want to try it.”
The two of us take turns sniffing each other and applying pheromone oil to different parts of our bodies to see if it becomes more potent or changes the scent.
I smell Punk way more times than I care to admit. The more I inhale, no more I swear I’m getting high on the shit. “You still smell like laundry soap and sawdust.”
Punk’s face tightens with confusion. “Is that a scent women like?”
“The fuck if I know. Maybe it doesn’t work on men the way it works on women.” I place the cap on the bottle, stand, and stretch. “Here. Put it with the rest. I’m going to bed to snuggle my woman, well, if she doesn’t kick me out.”
Punk stands too, tossing the bottle in the air and catching it. “I’m going out and doing a trial run on this shit. See if it attracts the ladies. Don’t wait up for me.”
“Not tired anymore?”
“Too curious to sleep now.” He gives me a salute and heads out of the house.
I drag my ass upstairs, my head feeling foggy. Hades pads next to me, looking at me like he’s saying, ‘you’re in a shitload of trouble.’ I pray Jo won’t put me in the dog house. I open our door and Hades gallops toward his bed. I brave myself, stepping over the threshold.
This is not what I expected to come home to.
I’m greeted with dim candlelight ambiance, Bill Withers’Ain’t No Sunshine, and my sexy little kitten sprawled out in the latest negligee I bought her.
Smiling like I won the fucking lottery, I close the door behind me, and I’m hit with the most intoxicating, delicious scent ever.
It’s like I’m lying face down in a lemon orchard with the love of my life sprawled underneath me and her sweet arousal taking up residence in my mouth.
My blood spikes. It feels like electricity is coursing through my nervous system, shocking me in the most pleasurable way imaginable. Her delectable scent wraps around my nose and tongue ‘till all I smell is her sex. My mouth is salivating.
Christ, it’s like she’s somehow made the atmosphere heavy and thick, robbing me of air and sanity. I’m on cloud nine.
