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I knew there was a high possibility Gauge had been intimate with the bunnies before I came into his life. He had a whole life before me, including sexual partners. But it’s one thing being a possibility and a whole other having it confirmed as authentic.
Threesome…orgies… My God, I’m so vanilla compared to what he’s used to receiving.
Old insecurities rear up inside of me, setting roots in my subconscious with hardly any effort.
Candy drives the final nail into my coffin. “Gauge likes variety. He’ll never settle for the same piece of ass for long.”
Too crushed to fight back, I carefully unfold myself from the chair, taking my computer inside the house. Before the door is closed behind me, I hear Ebony and Red tear into Candy. I can’t deal with any of them right now. I have to get away from all of them. Maybe it’s a cowardly move, but I couldn’t just sit there letting Candy continue to throw her past sexual experiences with Gauge in my face.
“I will not cry,” I chant under my breath as I shut the door to the bunkroom. It’s in the past and that’s where it will remain.
As much as I want to leave Gauge’s past conquests behind me, it hurts knowing the MC women have been with him in a way that is deeply personal to me.
There’s a knock at the door. I hastily wipe away the moisture from my eyes. “Come in.”
Red and Ebony slip into the room, shutting us in. Red looks at me with apologetic eyes while Ebony stands fuming at her side.
“I’m sorry, I’m not…able to discuss any of this right now,” I rasp, emotions clogging my throat.
“Candy shouldn’t have talked to you like that,” Red says softly as she wrings her hands together.
“It wasn’t her place,” Ebony adds, shaking her head. “Some people never learned to mind their own damn business.”
“Is it true?” I ask with a tremor in my voice. “You’ve all been…with him?”
Red and Ebony exchange a look. It’s all the confirmation I need.
“No wonder she’s so hung up on him,” I murmur. “She’s had a taste and wants him back. She’s trying to push me out of the picture.”
“Not to sound too harsh, but you need to ovary up,” Ebony states. “She baited you and you took it—hook, line and sinker. MC life for women can be brutal on the heart, but women still flock to bikers. Chances are Candy will not be the only woman to try to get between you and your man. Gauge has no problem telling another woman to back off, but you need to do your part too. Or she’ll smell your weakness. Trust me, I know—MC has been my entire life. But you can toughen up. You have it in you; I’ve seen hints of it.”
That’s a problem for someone non-confrontational, but what choice do I have if I want to fend off the likes of Candy?
“Can you give me some space, please?”
“Of course,” Ebony says, pulling on Red’s arm for her to follow.
Red goes to leave with Ebony, but stops in her tracks, turning back to face me. “I rarely intervene, but I feel it needs to be said. Opal, you are Gauge’s old lady—claimed or not. He’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him when he’s with you. Don’t let what Candy said impede what you have with him.” Red looks at Ebony like she wants back up.
Ebony lips are in a thin line until she relents. “We value your relationship with us and the VP. We’ll never interfere. We’re only sorry we can’t undo the past.”
I wait for the door to close behind them before I reach for my cell. I want to call Gauge in the worse way, but I know it’ll go to his voicemail. There’s no way to reach him, and that hurts more because I could use his reassurance.
My finger hovers over his number before I hit the call button.
“This is Gauge. Leave a message.”The phone beeps.
“Sorry to bother, but I was calling to hear your voice, even if it’s just the voicemail.” I hang up, clutching my cell to my chest. There’s no need to hold back any longer, so I let the tears go.
“It’s the past,” I whisper to myself, again and again, willing myself to let go of the ugliness Candy planted in my head.
But it’s hard, it’s so damn hard…
CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN
GAUGE
Late May 2020
