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When we were arguing, I only focused on the betrayal, leaving out how my heart belongs to him. Seeing he’s not in the bed with me, I wish I had said it.
My nose stings as the onset of tears ready to break free.
Sniffling, I swipe at my eyes, catching the falling tears. With a shaky breath, I roll to get out of bed. My heart leaps into my throat, strangling my cry.
“Easy, Numbers. Don’t be frightened.”
Chase is sitting in a chair he dragged to my side of the bed. He’s still dressed in his clothes from yesterday, looking rather rumpled. His tawny hair is loose and messy, like he’d been pulling at it in handfuls. However, it’s his face that makes my heart squeeze. He looks tired, but more than that, he looks at me with remorse. His warm brown eyes hold mine, beseeching me.
“Don’t cry, baby. I hate that I’m the reason for those tears.”
Am I still crying? My hands quickly brush over my cheeks to remove the evidence. To hell if I show him, he got the best of me.
He reaches out for me. It takes all my willpower to pull back from his touch when all I want to do is crawl into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. I move to the other side of the bed, swinging my legs over the edge to stand.
“Simone,” he moans with a hitch in his voice as he rises out of his chair. He’s breathing heavily, worry clear in his tense stature.
“Where have you been?” I demand, turning to face him with my arms folded over my chest. He has a lot of explaining to do.
Chase shakes his head, a little frown of disappointment creasing his brow. “Not far. After I left our room, I went to drink my frustrations away at the hotel bar. Didn’t help me any—couldn’t stop thinking of you and the disappointed look on your face from our fight. All I wanted to do was erase that sad look from your face, but I didn’t have a fucking clue how to go about it.”
Is he serious? Was he only at the bar? Unsure of what to say, I wait for him to continue.
“Everywhere I looked, I saw someone who reminded me of you. And every male who accompanied a woman who slightly resembled you became fucking Trent,” he mutters in a pained voice.
Mention of Trent has my nerves on edge. Considering he’s the reason Chase and I are currently quarreling, any topic comprised of my ex is not one I want to have. Chase must see my tension rising, because he’s quick to add, “I could see what your life once was—all glitz and refined beauty—and how at odds I am compared to the life you mourn.”
His words tug at my heart, hating how he felt like the odd man out. Yes, I once grieved my old lifestyle, but I no longer feel like my old self. That part of me doesn’t belong in my new life, and it certainly never defined my identity before. It was only part of a standard of living in my old circle, one I could not care less about. I don’t belong in Sacramento any more than I belong with Trent.
“Chase—”
“But it doesn’t matter if I’m as opposite to you as day and night,” Chase interrupts, rushing to get out his words, possibly worried about what I may say. “I’m the right man for you, and my actions need to reflect my worth.”
I hold up a hand to stop him. “Chase, you are worthy—more than worthy in many wonderful ways. Please, stop thinking I wantthis,” I say, waving at the elegant room as a representation of all the resplendency I had before. “My only request if you’re my man is to respect me. You don’t make promises if you can’t keep them—your words will mean nothing to me if you keep breaking them. That’s all I want, and that’s why I’m upset with you.”
He woodenly nods his head, looking directly into my eyes. “Pretty much what Atlas said, too.”
Shocked, I raise an eyebrow. “You spoke to Atlas about us?”
“I needed an outside perspective from someone who’s dealt with his fair share of upsetting his woman.”
My chest warms with hope. If he’s willing to ask for counsel to help our relationship, then he’s willing to take ownership of his faults. “You sought guidance for our relationship?”
“I’d do anything for you. I’m not above asking for help to fix my piss poor behavior.”
The physical distance between us suddenly feels like too much space. Slowly, I move around the bed until I’m standing in front of him. “And do you agree with your friend? Do you understand what you did was crossing a boundary with me?”
Chase stares intently at me, longing and sadness etched into his handsome face. “I’m nothing like Trent, but my behavior yesterday had me ranked amongst the worst men you’ve encountered. I don’t ever want to be anywhere that isn’t in your good graces. I was a possessive dick, and I’m not proud of myself for embarrassing you the way I did. It wasn’t my intention, but it was an outcome of my actions, and I take full responsibility for my behavior. You and Prez are right—I fucked up, and I need to cut that shit out if I stand a chance of earning your heart.”
As much as I want to forgive him in this moment, a nagging in my subconscious has me holding off. My throat constricts and pain laces my voice as I ask, “Where did you stay last night?”
Deep brown eyes stare hard into mine as he points at the chair he was sitting in when I woke up. “I was sitting here, watching over you—I’m always watching you. Don’t think for a moment I’d be anywhere else. My eyes and heart see no other but you. It’s only been you. And there’s nowhere else I’ll ever be, but beside you.”
My resolve slips. A whimper of relief escapes my lips. I cover my face with my hands.
Strong arms are around me at once. Chase kisses the top of my head, sighing heavily into my hair. “I didn’t think you’d want to share a bed with me. You were already asleep when I returned. I thought it best not to disturb your sleep after all the shit you dealt with. Would you have preferred me in bed with you?”
“I would have preferred for my partner not to have been a massive dick in the first place.”
