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A squeal comes tearing up my throat as I slap a hand over my tits and do my best to cross my legs and cover my lady bits. “Matty! What the hell are you doing? Get out of here. I’m trying to shower.”
The little turd scratches his ass before dropping his pants and taking a seat on the toilet as though he’s completely oblivious to my presence. “Are you kidding?” I shriek before his face morphs. “Are you…?” I suck in a horrified breath. “You better not be taking a shit right now.”
When he starts grunting, I grab the shampoo bottle and launch it out the shower door. “Get out of here,” I yell, struggling to keep myself covered. The shampoo bottle smacks him in the ribs and drops to the ground, splattering shampoo all up the bathroom tiles.
Matty looks down at the bottle as though he’s only just noticing it, leaving me gaping at the dork. Does he even hear me right now?
“MOM!” I yell as the slightest smirk crosses my brother’s face, which is exactly when the smell hits me. I gag, struggling to get my words out. “Get Matthew the hell out of here.”
“What’s going on in there?” Mom demands as her head pops into the bathroom and she starts looking around, trying to figure out what’s causing havoc in her guest bathroom. She presses her lips into an irritated, tight line. “Matthew, what on earth are you doing? How many times do I have to tell you that you’re too big to be barging in on your sister like this?”
Matty shrugs. “What?” he questions innocently, looking up at mom. “When you got to go, you got to go. Or would you prefer I found a bucket and did it in the hallway?”
I grab the conditioner and launch it at him. “Ugh! You’re so gross. Get out of here, you little turd.”
A wicked grin crosses his face. “Should I just snap it in half?”
He did not just say that.
My face scrunches up in disgust as I reach for the body wash. Mom attempts to diffuse the situation as dad steps through the doors. “Family meeting in the bathroom?” he chuckles as though he’s the funniest thing to ever grace this planet, but the second he realizes his son is in the middle of taking a dump, he spins around to avoid the horrendous sight, only to catch an eyeful of his daughter in the shower.
“Dad!” I shriek, feeling completely humiliated.
Dad scurries out of the bathroom quicker than how he’d entered. “Oh, dear God, My eyes! That was way too much of my kids for a Monday morning. Sorry, Court, if I knew you were showering, I never would have walked in,” he calls through the bathroom door. “Mathew; finish your business and get your butt out of there. Your sister is…becoming a woman,” he adds, making the words sound like some sort of disease. “She needs her privacy.”
Mom gives me an encouraging smile before discreetly stepping in front of me to give me what little privacy she can as we wait for Matty to finish destroying the guest bathroom. Though, she doesn’t do it without scrunching her face up at the smell that’s coming from her youngest child.
After the longest few minutes of my life, Matty finally picks himself up off the toilet and walks over to the sink to wash his hands and just when I think I’ll be safe, he reaches for his toothbrush.
“No way, buddy,” Mom says, hauling him out the door as he chuckles, knowing exactly how much of a pain he’s being. “Brush your teeth in the kitchen.”
Mom follows him out the door and I shake my head as the door closes. How is this my Monday morning?
I reach for my towel and wrap it around myself, not wanting to be in here longer than necessary as the smell is beginning to burn my nose. I mean, what could that kid possibly be eating to make such a foul smell come from his tiny ass? There’s no doubt in my mind that shit is acidic. He needs a doctor and fast.
With most of my morning now wasted, I get a move on. I grab a banana from the fruit bowl and silently thank my father as I find the coffee waiting for me on the kitchen counter; his way of apologizing for walking in on me in the shower.
I smile to myself as I walk out the front door and find my brand new Lexus glistening in the morning sun. Damn, this shit never gets old. Mom and dad got me this bad boy for my eighteenth birthday a few weeks ago and I still haven’t gotten over it.
To be completely honest, I kind of knew they were shopping around for a car, but this? I’ve never been so lucky. I was expecting something a little…less, not the most gorgeous Lexus on the planet. I mean, damn. The last two years of begging my parents for a car finally paid off and it paid off in a huge way.
