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“Do you remember the first day you got here?”
I eyed my buddy and grinned. “How could I forget?” Justin had become my buddy, also tasked with joining the Rangers. We’d both considered it an honor, prepared to do whatever it took to fight for our country. We’d been called danger junkies in boot camp, the first two soldiers to volunteer for the riskiest operations. We’d hated each other at first, both hardheaded and opinionated, but after nearly beating the crap out of each other in front of the other men, we’d become fast friends. “You threw up all over me.”
Justin laughed. “Okay, so maybe I had a little too much tequila the night before. We were celebrating. It’s not every day people get asked to be a part of the Rangers.”
I shook my head. The man was a fun-loving dude with no plans on settling down. Then his on-again, off-again girlfriend had called, telling him he would soon be a daddy. Everything had changed. His desire to get assigned stateside was understandable, but it wasn’t going to happen any time soon. His skills, like mine, were far too valuable. At least that’s what we’d both heard more than once.
“Yeah, well, you still owe me a shirt, buddy.”
Grinning, he walked toward one of the windows that overlooked the base, remaining quiet for a few minutes. “Do you ever think about dying?”
I almost choked on my coffee. “That’s the kiss of death, no pun intended.” We’d been trained that you couldn’t think that way or it would trickle from the forefront of your mind, imbedding itself in your psyche. Then you’d be fucked.
“Blah. Blah. Blah. I don’t think we’d be human if we didn’t think that every mission would be our last.”
I had a feeling I knew where he was going with this, but I let him talk. It hadn’t mattered what we’d endured over the last eight months of being involved with the unit or how many lives had been lost, he’d never said a word. He’d cleaned off the blood, reloaded his weapons, and was prepared for the next grueling mission.
I’d admired that about him given the constant kills had started to erode a part of me. My father had once told me that in order to be a good soldier, I needed to lose my sense of humanity. I’d taken his advice, turning off every mechanism that could possibly lead to giving a shit about anything or anyone. Except for the men and women I served alongside. That had helped me well until recently.
“I hear ya, soldier,” I said quietly.
He tipped his head, his eyes scanning mine. “I’m serious. I don’t want to die here. I used to think that by doing so it would be a great honor, that my loyalty to God and country was the only thing that mattered. But it’s not.”
“Then what is?” I knew the answer like I knew every detail about myself, but this was his method of working through the mental anguish. I owed him that at least.
Sighing, Justin backed against the wall, holding out his hands, staring at them as if he was holding something important. “When you know there’s a little life about to be born, a tiny baby who has your DNA inside of him, then it changes the way you see the world. To think how amazing God can be to allow a life to come into this crazy, fucked-up world. It’s magical.”
He’d seen the girl one time while on leave and from what I remembered, she was at least seven and a half months pregnant. When he’d returned, he’d told me all about how he’d been able to feel the baby kick. He’d been a happy papa, doling out expensive Cuban cigars like candy. It would be at least four months before he had a chance to return and not being there for the birth was already killing him.
“I believe you,” I answered.
“You don’t want to have kids?”
“Hell, no. Can you see more of me in this world? The kid would grow up a monster or worse.” While we laughed together, a serious look remained in his eyes.
“Yeah, Viper. I can more than see it. You’d make a great father. Your kid would be amazing, just like I hope my little boy is going to be.”
“It’s a boy?” Oh, fuck. He’d taken a call from the girl the night before.
“Yeah. Can you believe it?” When he looked at me again, there were tears in his eyes. “We haven’t thought of a name yet, but we’re planning on making a decision in a few days.”
After our next mission. That’s what this was all about. We’d gotten word an artillery unit could be hit, and they needed backup. It had yet to be confirmed, but if and when it was, we had to be prepared to leave in less than thirty minutes. We were all on edge. The intel had been shitty as of late, almost putting our unit in harm’s way more than once. Unfortunately, it was a no-fly zone. I preferred being in my chopper to riding in a damn tank, but shit happened.
I was scheduled to do a run as close to the area as possible for reconnaissance, attempting to locate any possible insurgents setting up camp in close proximity. I would leave as soon as it was light, making a speed run. And Justin was my wingman.
“Congratulations.” I jumped up, my hand already stuck out before I made it to within a few feet. He ignored my gesture, pulling me into a bear hug, slapping my back. “I want you to be the godfather.”
He blurted out the words so quickly I wasn’t certain I heard him right. I pulled away, studying his eyes. Goddamn, the man had tears in them. “What did you say?”
“I want you as the baby’s godfather. That way if anything should happen to me then I can rest easy knowing you’ll be there to guide my little boy.”
A lump formed in my throat. It was a tremendous honor and one I didn’t feel like I deserved. Hell, I’d all but shut my baby brother down, our arguments getting to the point he’d told me he never wanted to see me again. What good could I be to an infant? “I…”
“Don’t you dare say no. You’re the only friend I got and the only man I trust to teach him right. I don’t want him growing up to be a damn delinquent like I was.”
“Yeah, but you turned out alright.”
