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I move in beside her and look down at her profile, not missing the shine of tears in her eyes. My throat tightens. I reach for her hand and link our fingers. “Layla.”
“Yes?” There’s a hint of tremor in her voice.
“I think we should take it slow, you know? I’m trying not to rush you.”
“Or maybe you’re not really interested.”
Her quiet statement is like a blow to my chest. I squeeze her hand. “Trust me, it’s not that. Quite the opposite, actually. I’m trying to give you space.”
“Maybe I don’t want space.”
“Look, you’re out of your parents’ house for the very first time—even if it’s just for the weekend—and you’ve never been in a relationship before. These are all huge first steps. I’m afraid if you take on too much too soon—”
She turns to face me, her eyes radiating pain. “How do you feel about me, Jason? Be honest, please.”
My heart slams into my ribs, and I bite back the words I want to say—I want you to be mine. Instead, I dial it down and say, “I think you’re amazing.”
“No, I mean, you know…” She breaks off suddenly and looks away, wincing. When she shakes her head, I’m pretty sure there’s an argument going on inside. One I’m not privy to.
I’d give anything to hear what she hears. “Layla?” I turn her to face me. “Tell me what’s going on in here.” I tap her head. “What’s she saying?”
She swallows hard, and the sheer level of pain I see in her eyes makes my heart hurt.
“Tell me, please,” I say. “Word for word.”
She shakes her head. “She’s my problem, not yours.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Anything that’s a problem for you automatically becomes my problem, too. Now, tell me what she said.”
The words spill out of her, tumbling over each other in a mad rush. “She says you’re just humoring me, that you don’t really want me, and that’s why you put me in the guest bedroom, because you don’t want to be with me, and you don’t want to hurt my feelings, so you won’t tell me the truth, because you’re too nice to hurt someone, so youpretendto like me, to want to be with me, but you really don’t. I told her she’s wrong, but how do I know, because this is all new to me. She says I’m too crazy foranyoneto want—”
I can’t bear to hear another word, so I pull her into my arms and kiss her, shutting off the slew of lies and hurt. “She’s so fucking wrong, honey,” I say against her lips. We’re both breathing hard, our shaky breaths mingling. I stare hard into her eyes. “She’s wrong, Layla. Dead wrong. Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” she breathes.
I thread my fingers into her hair. “Who do you trust, Layla? Me or her?” I’ll repeat this as many times as I need to, to get through to her.
She answers without hesitation. “You.”
“Then you pass this message on to her: I’m crazy about you. You’re the most exciting woman I’ve ever met. I think about you day and night, and I can’t stop imagining what it would be like for us to be together. I can’t wait to kiss you—really kiss you. I want to taste every inch of your body. I want to feel your bare skin, hot and sweaty, pressed against mine. I think you’re the most amazing woman in the world. Period. End of story. And anything less than that is a straight up lie.”
I gently grip Layla’s chin. “Is that clear enough for you? Forher?I want you.I want you in every way a man can possibly want a woman. I want you to bemine, and only mine. I’m just so damn scared of doing something wrong, of hurting you, or pushing you too far, too fast. I don’t want to screw this up.”
Fat tears roll down her cheeks. “Then please don’t treat me like I’m a special case, or like I’m damaged or fragile. I want you to treat me like you’d treat any other girl. Jason, please. That’s what I want—to benormal. Is that too much to ask?”
I cup her beautiful, teary face in my hands. “But you’re not just a normal girl, Layla. You’re the girl I’m falling in love with, and I’ve never been in love before, so I don’t know how to act. You matter more to me than anything on this earth, and I can’t risk messing up, or hurting you.”
Her fingers circle my wrists, and she holds on to me. “Don’t handle me with kid gloves.” Her hands cover mine, and she links our fingers together. “Please let me be normal for once.”
Chapter 38
Layla Alexander
I see the indecision in Jason’s expression, the fear and the worry. And his concern for me only strengthens my resolve that he’s the right one. I know love at first sight is a fanciful idea, but I honestly feel like Iknowhim. Like my soul recognizes his. And even though we haven’t known each other for that long, I do know this. He’d never intentionally hurt me, and there’s no one in the world I trust more than him.
He kisses me, and I’m surprised to find he’s breathing as hard as I am. There’s so much at stake here, for both of us. His lips glide against mine, somehow both soft and firm at the same time. Then his mouth nudges mine open, and his tongue slides inside. My heart thuds in my chest as my pulse starts racing.
This kiss is hot and hungry, as if his restraint is slipping. His fingers burrow into my hair, tightening on my scalp, as he deepens the kiss.
