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“Based on several memoirs I’ve read, some people who hear voices think they articulate their own fears and insecurities.”
As I sip my water, I nod. “She definitely preys on mine.”
He gives me a gentle smile. “When I look at you—at how intelligent you are, how compassionate, howbeautiful—it’s hard for me to see what you have to be insecure about.”
He’s lying. He thinks you’re pathetic. A joke.
I swallow against the sudden painful lump in my throat because I’m so afraid she’s right. “Looks can be deceiving.”
Fortunately, I’m spared talking about this because our server arrives with our food.
“This looks wonderful,” Jason says as he tries his delicately-spiced chicken and vegetable dish. He groans. “Oh, god, that’s good.”
I smile, glad he likes it.
Jason picks up his bottle of sparkling water and holds it close to his lips. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you,” he says before taking a sip.
My face heats, and I smile. “Yes?” Today has been an amazing day, just spending time with him. It’s been fun and relaxing. I think this is what it must be like to experience life with someone special by your side.
“I wanted to ask you about Reese Hendricks.”
My smile falls as my stomach drops like a stone. “What about him?”
“I was just wondering if you like him.”
I shrug. “I hardly know the guy.”
“I know, but I mean, are you interested in getting to know him better?”
“I don’t know.”Why is he asking me about Reese?“I told him no.”
“Maybe you should reconsider.”
“What? Why?” My happiness evaporates instantly. I was having such a good time with Jason, and I thought he felt the same. I thought we were connecting.But now he’s encouraging me to date someone else?“I thought you didn’t like him.”
Jason shrugs. “Like you, I hardly know the guy. He and I got off on the wrong foot, and maybe I was too hasty. I should give him another chance. If you think you’d like to go out with him, tell him you changed your mind. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to hear that.”
How could I have been so stupid?
Because you’re an idiot.
I don’t know what to say. I’d love to go out on a date, yes, but not with Reese.
With who, then? With Jason? Please, don’t be so stupid.
I say the first thing that pops into my head. “He seems nice.”
Jason frowns. “Yeah, he does. I was just thinking that—if you wanted to, I mean—you could go out with him. Give him a chance. Get to know him better.”
You idiot. You’re not girlfriend material. You’re a paycheck. That’s all.
I have nothing to say to that becauseshe’sright. My stomach tightens, and my food settles like rocks in my belly. Pain knifes my heart, and the ache is agonizing. Have I been making a fool of myself this whole time, thinking Jason and I were becoming friends, when really I’m clinging to him, hoping for a friendship and wishing desperately for more?
I really am pathetic.
I told you so. Now stop it. You’re embarrassing yourself—and him.
My eyes start to burn, and I know I’m a second away from making a fool of myself. I lay my fork on the table. When I feel my lips start to tremble—a surefire sign I’m about to start crying—I pick up my bottle of water and take a long sip.
