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“Hammer?” I call out for him, and his head pops up to look at mine. He calls me over, and I walk slowly in his direction. Armor lets me go for a brief moment, and it feels like he’s taken my security with him. I make my way over to Shiloh and Hammer to hear what’s going on.
As much as I have never seen my brother like this, I guess I could see the reasoning behind it. His little girl is up in the hospital because of something that happened while she was in his care. It’s impossible for me to imagine what he must be going through right now in terms of guilt.
“What’s going on? I need to know the truth . . .” I ask, trailing off as he shakes his head in disappointment.
“No, she’s still alive. The doctor has just come in and told us that Oakleigh will be okay. They’ve just finished the surgery, but there were complications that are still being dealt with,” Shiloh exclaims at the end of his words.
“There are complications. What’s happening?” I ask my brother and Shiloh, looking back and forth between them. I am dying of anticipation right now.
I care only about whether she is going to be able to make it. Since we all know she’s going to be okay, our worries should be gone. That’s the most important thing, after all. There must have been something significant that happened to her in order for him to be so broken up.
“While they were trying to close her wound up, the stitches kept breaking. There was just too much damage. They had to take her uterus out. It was too risky to leave it in. My little girl isn’t ever going to be able to have children,” Hammer says, and another tear drops from his eyes.
“Oh my god. She can’t have any kids at all. This is unfathomable.”
Shiloh is quick to add, “Not on her own. They took her uterus, but they left her tubes and ovaries, so she can’t have kids on her own, but she may still be able to have them in other ways. It won’t be natural, but she still has options,” Shiloh says softly. In spite of the fact that I know she’s trying to soften the blow for my niece, my heart aches so badly for her. I’m not sure what she wanted for her life, but I know that most women strive to have children at some point. At such a young age, they basically will be telling her that her chances have already been drastically reduced. It’s not something that she should have to go through. Of course, I’m happy that she’s going to make it, but I’m sad about the consequences.
“Okay, so what do you need? We got some food here, but what else do you need?” I reach for my brother and swipe a hand down his cheek. It is important for me to let him know he is not alone in this. We are all here to support him.
After a few breaths, he gets himself back under control, rubs the hand over the side of his face, and wipes away the tears from his eyes. “I can’t leave,” he says softly.
“Of course not. Do you want to be alone? Is that what you need right now?” I don’t want to leave Oakleigh either, but right now, I need to make sure that my brother gets what he needs. If that means that we all have to leave him here, I’ll make sure that it gets done.
“I need you to tell Armor and Breaker to go back. They can go back to the clubhouse. They need to sleep. Just send someone in a few hours with a vehicle in case we need to move. I don’t want the club to be left defenseless. There’s nothing more we can do right now for Oakleigh,” Hammer says, and I nod my head. I can understand it, but I don’t want to go. Right now, it’s not about me, though.
“All right, if that’s what you want, we’ll get it done.” I turn to go back to Armor, but before I take another step, I look over at my brother. “I love you, Hammer. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, Jada. I love you too.” He pulls me back into a hug, and Shiloh backs up a bit. When I’m finished, she takes my place, and I go over to where Armor and the rest of the guys are sitting, eating up the snacks that we brought for them.
“What’s going on? What did the doctors say?” Armor asks the second I get over to him.
“She’s going to be okay, right? It’s going to be okay?” Breaker asks, and even though he’s not crying, I can see the hurt in his eyes. I bet he feels somewhat responsible since this happened in his club.
“Yeah, they’re just finishing up the surgery. She’ll pull through.” I don’t feel the need to tell them about the difficulties. That’s not my place.
“Hammer wants us to go on back to the clubhouse. He knows that we still have work to do, and he doesn’t want the club to be left defenseless. He just needs someone to drop a vehicle back off to him in case they have to move.”
“What? Are you sure? We can all stay,” Breaker says, but he keeps his voice low.
“No. This is what Hammer wants. We need to give him that.” My voice is strong, and even though I’m not trying to be disrespectful, I need to make sure we do what my brother asks. If I have to drag Breaker out of here myself, I will.
“All right. If that’s what he wants, we’ll go home.” Breaker stands up and starts dishing out orders while Armor just stands by me, his energy washing over me and making me feel safe again.
I put a hand up to my mouth and let out a yawn that I didn’t know I was holding in. I must be more tired than I thought.
“Yeah, we all need to get some rest. We’ve been burning the candle at both ends.” Armor rubs a hand over my shoulder, and both Breaker and Chains shoot him a glance. No one says anything, though.
I don’t have the energy to put everyone’s mind at ease. I just want to get home. I nod and turn toward the door of the waiting room. I look back over at my brother one more time and silently pray that he has the strength to get through this. He needs it.
* * *
The rest of us make our way back to the clubhouse, and Breaker heads straight into his office. I expect Armor to go with him, but instead, he heads for his bedroom. I’m at a loss for what to do, and he seems to realize it. He tugs my arm for me to follow him, and I do with very little resistance. I don’t want to be left by myself, and I appreciate the fact that he can sense that.
“You sure this is okay?” I ask as we walk into the bedroom.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Armor answers. He closes the door behind us and runs a hand through my hair gently before he drops it. He looks down, and I see the tension in his shoulders. He clenches his jaw hard, but I can’t do anything to help him right now. I just feel so numb.
“I’m going to hit the can for a minute. Relax.” He points to the bed, and I nearly laugh at his choice of words. I’m so stressed out. There’s no way that I’m going to be able to relax.
