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CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Journal entry: Who knew pain could make you feel so cherished?
He releasesme in front of his bed, then taking a step back, he slowly begins to unbutton his shirt. “Strip. Everything but the bow,” he commands, eyes dark and lethal as he watches me.
My fingers shake as they brush the hem of my dress. I’ve never been fully naked in front of anyone. Never allowed myself to feel this vulnerable, this exposed. I raise my dress, slowly pulling it over my head, letting it slip from my fingers to the floor. Lincoln slowly removes his shirt, exposing the grooves of his hard abs. Three ravens sit on his cut hip bone. Dark hair that travels from his bellybutton to his pants does strange things to me. His arms are huge, cut and sculpted in delicious tan skin. Veins running through them like roads on a map. I know they feel safe and secure, because just minutes ago, they were cradling me to his body, as if I was precious to him. He drops his shirt as I kick my sandals off. Reaching behind me, I free my heavy breasts, the hard nipples aching as the cool air touches them.
“Lay on the bed. Legs spread so I can see you,” he rasps.
Slowly, I walk to the side of the bed, lowering my body, my head resting on the pillow as I expose myself to him. The way he looks at me, as if he wants to savor and devour me, I’ve never felt so confident in my body. I can feel the slippery mess he left between my legs, the ache that built and stopped before I tipped over. I can’t decide if I like it or if I am pissed off over it. Either way, I’ve never been so turned on in my life. His bed is soft beneath my body, the silk comforter feels good on my heated skin.
“That’s my good slut,” he rasps.
The words jolt me. They’re meant to be degrading, hurtful, but I can only close my eyes, holding in the whimper the words make me want to spill. My fingers grip the sheets, turning white from the pressure. He unbuckles his belt, pulling it free. He grasps the leather in his hand, squeezing as his eyes trail a hot path I can feel all over my body. His knees sink onto the bed as he crawls up beside me, grabbing my wrists. He snaps my wrists together with the leather, jerking it tight as it bites into my skin. Not painfully but enough so I know I won’t be moving. He ties the belt to the bedframe, stretching my arms above my head, pushing my breasts forward. “What if I want to touch you?” I ask.
He peers down at me, eyes smoky and alive. “You don’t touch me unless I allow you to. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Da—” I cut myself off. Embarrassment making my entire body flush hot. I can’t believe I almost called him that.
“You want to call me Daddy, Doll Face?”His tone is arrogant, degrading.
I lick my lips, meeting his eyes. “Well, since I’ve never got to taste the words on my tongue, I would like to taste them for you.”
His eyes flash, his length hard and strong, visible through his slacks. “Good.”
He crawls off the bed, jerking his slacks and boxers down, his member slapping against his stomach. Proud and veiny, tilting just a bit. Almost scary, because there’s no way that is going to fit inside me. No fucking way. He squeezes himself as he turns to look at me all spread out on his bed. “I’m going to try to be easy with you.” His gravelly voice brushes across me.
“I don’t want you to.”
He tilts his head to the side, stroking himself. “You want me to rip through your innocence?” I nod. He grins. “You are my perfect little slut, aren’t you?”
“Yes, Daddy,” I whisper.
His eyes darken as he walks over, crawling over my body. His thighs press down on my shoulders, the feel of his weight on my chest makes me excited, I love the feeling of his strong body on me. I want to feel him everywhere. “Open,” he commands, rubbing his tip on my lips. “I want to be the only one ruining your lipstick, I want this shade of pink painted all over my dick.”Oh my God.His words make my body tremble as I open my mouth, swiping my tongue over his velvet head. I can’t help it, I want to taste him, to feel him. I want to choke on him.
He hisses, pushing his head into my mouth, cutting off my breathing. I choke a little as he pushes himself deeper. Breathing through my nose, I open my throat, trying to make room for him, but he’s so big. He groans when he almost bottoms out in my throat. My eyes water as I look up to him, waiting for something. His eyes twinkle when he looks down at me.
“Good girl,” he growls.
I squeeze my thighs together, the praise building me back up. He pulls out, thrusting back into my mouth. I choke on my moan, my tears spilling down my cheeks as I pulse around nothing. He pulls out of me again, resting back on his thighs as he watches me. I take a much-needed breath, feeling the drool on my chin. I pull on my restraints a little, wanting to touch him, but not being allowed to, which, in turn, drives me crazy. He wipes his thumb over my chin, collecting my drool with his digit. He brings it to his mouth, and wrapping his lips around it, he closes his eyes, sucking it off his thumb. The action makes me throb, and I wish he would touch me already because this is becoming cruel, but it’s also turning me on. I am so frustratingly aroused and confused by my body. I squeeze my eyes shut, shifting my body to see if I can find some kind of friction to rub myself against, feeling victorious when his velvet length brushes across my clit. A hard slap comes across my right breast, a surprised moan spills past my lips and I whimper, my eyes jerking open. “You don’t get off unless I tell you to.”
I want to talk back, roll my eyes, cuss at him, but I’ve figured out by now that will only lead to him prolonging this further, so I give him a frustrated nod. Closing my eyes again, I hear the tear of foil, and then I feel him, at my entrance, the tip stretching me. He slips his head in and I whimper, the sting of him is painful and pleasurable.
He groans, “Fuck, you’re so tight.” He sinks another inch in, his breathing becoming heavier. “I swear if you make me come before I’m fully inside you, I will punish you.”
My mouth opens, my eyes flying open, ready to let him have it because I can’t control that, when a pain so sharp and painful rips through me, making my body stiffen, tears stinging my eyes. A loud whimper breaks from my lips and my body begins to shake from the pain. He’s too big. If I could get my hands free, I think I may try to push him off.
“Shh,” he whispers, his thumb sweeping the tears from my cheeks, his other one rubbing soothing circles over my clit, making my body melt under his. “I’ve got you. It won’t hurt for long.”
The tears won’t stop, not even with his soft words or sweet strokes on my clit. I meet his gaze through my watery eyes, and he cusses as he peers down at me, jaw tightening. His hand stops as he reaches above me, freeing my hands from the binds. His arms wrap around me before my body can fully fall the short distance to the bed. His hard body molds to mine, caging me in his warmth.
“This one time,” he whispers into my ear.
He begins to move inside of me. Long, hard strokes, letting me feel every inch of him with no rush as he lays hot kisses to my neck, sucking the skin into his unforgiving mouth. The way he owns my body, how he molds it, has the pain evaporating, making me desperate for him. I want to crawl inside his soul and live there, to feel him everywhere. His fingers twist my nipple, making me arch off the bed, pressing my breast into his firm chest as sweat drips from our bodies. I want to kiss him, swallow his grunts of pleasure, but he keeps our lips apart. Never letting me even whisper against them. His thumb finds my clit again, and the way he doesn’t fumble when it comes to finding it, hitting my most sensitive spot, has me drenching his cock, seeping down both of our thighs and pooling underneath us onto his sheets. I see stars, my body shivering and convulsing under his. He lets a low curse out as he stills, releasing himself. He pushes up from my body, eyes looking over every curve of my face, my eyes. My chest heaves as I stare up at him through tired eyes, body boneless as he maneuvers us so he’s laying behind me. Exhaustion wins as I feel his hot lips against my skin, kissing the back of my neck and down my spine.
And I know my obsession with him has just turned lethal.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
