AllFreeNovel
Share Us
No one tells you this,but when you lose your virginity, you feel different. Not different bad or good, really. It’s hard to explain. It just feels like something is missing almost. And I guess something is. It’s not that I regret sleeping with Lincoln. Not even a little. The problem is my obsession has grown tenfold since I gave myself to him. The fantasies are nonstop and I just needed to take Monday to breathe, to lay in bed and contemplate my life and whether this is the path I want to take.How I let my teacher fuck me without ever laying a kiss to my lips and found ecstasy. I let him mold my body without even knowing him personally. And I have to ask myself if I’m okay with that. Turns out, I am. I feel no shame, only empowerment.
When I woke up in his bed alone, I felt too vulnerable. Like my emotions were going haywire. There is a theory, a myth maybe, that whoever you give yourself to, you immediately become clingy to them. I’ve heard tons of boys at school talk about it, how they’d never have sex with a virgin. That’s immediately how I felt when I woke up. Clingy and emotional for Lincoln, so instead of waiting like a lovesick puppy, I left. In case he changed his mind, I wouldn’t have to feel the sting of rejection. It’s honestly something I live by. They can’t reject you if you never give them the chance to.
That’s why today I’m taking notes in government instead of writing fantasies about my teacher. Why I’m not looking up as he stares daggers into my bow. It’s a lifeless gray to match my mood. To the outside world, I probably look depressed, but the truth is I’m scared. Because Lincoln already has so much control over me and I don’t even know his favorite color.
“Miss Madison, a word in the hallway, please.” I sigh, because I know I can’t tell him no. And I definitely can’t get detention and be left alone with him.
I rise, making my way to the class door he holds open for me. I enter the quiet hallway, the door shutting a harsh contrast to the silence of the empty space.
“Look at me, Callum.”I do, because his authoritative voice does something to me. I look up, meeting his cold ash eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
He crosses his arms, leaning against the wall. “Then why did you run? Did I hurt you?”
I shake my head, my voice soft, “Of course not.”
“Then why did you leave?” he asks, body shifting closer.
“I wasn’t under the impression I was being held hostage.”
He nods. “I thought I mentioned that when you signed the NDA. I’ll be clearer next time.”
I bite my lip, my body involuntarily moving closer to his. “I’m not sure I’m what you’re looking for.”
He grins, an almost smirk to his lips as he whispers, “You’re exactly what I’m looking for.” His smiles are so rare, so breathtaking, it takes you a moment to realize he’s offering them. To realize you’re being sucked into his vortex.“Why don’t we try again this weekend? You follow the rules for once, and let me show you what I can offer.”
“I don’t know.”But I do know. I know I’d show back up every weekend for as long as he would have me.
He leans in closer, his breath tickling my ear. “Are you going to try to deny this sexual pull we’ve had since you walked into my classroom and eye-fucked me?”
I shiver, my face turning toward his. “You could get in trouble.”
His eyes look between mine, something simmering and making my breaths come out shallow. “Why don’t you let me worry about that.”
His head moves in closer and I brace myself, my eyes fluttering closed, mouth slightly parted.
“You want me to kiss you, Doll Face?” I nod my head, moving closer to him, our noses touching, breaths mingling. “I’m never going to kiss you.”
My eyes flash open, he’s so close I can see where the brown blends with the gray, looking like burnt wood. “Why not?”
“Because kissing is personal, intimate. It implies emotions. And what we’re doing isn’t emotional. It’s curing a desire we both feel until that flame burns out. And it will burn out. Don’t get attached to me, Doll Face. I’ll leave you more broken than you bargained for.” He leans away from me, bringing me back to the present. To the hallways, to the fact that we’re right outside his class and anyone could have seen us. I take a deep breath, following him back into the classroom. The students all pause to stare at us. As if they know exactly what’s happened between us. I lower my head, making my way back to Jake. He leans over when I sit down, whispering in my ear, “You look so fucking guilty.” I smack his chest and he laughs as I get back to work on the assignment, ignoring the heated stare from the front of the room.
* * *
The last classof the day is about to end. I stack the graded papers I finished, placing my volleyball schedule at the top of the stack. I walk over to his desk, my heels clacking, giving him enough signs to know I’m coming, but he chooses to keep scrolling on his computer. Emails, I see, as I get closer. I clear my throat and see his shoulders fall in annoyance. I have this urge to roll my eyes, it’s my go-to, but I hold it in, going for a smile instead. He turns his chair toward me, eyes swinging from mine to the stack of papers in my hand. “Can I help you?”
I put the pages on his desk, patting the top so his eyes will follow. They do, narrowing a bit until he snatches the schedule. “So, you have a game this Friday?”
The bell rings, causing the students to be extra loud with the scraping of chairs and boring gossip as they exit the room, giving me no chance to respond until everyone is gone. “Yes, but it’s with another school in the area, so I won’t be too late, but…”
He raises his eyebrows. “But?”
I shift a little, not liking the way my body is starting to heat up now that we’re alone. Thoughts of his body on top of mine, his abs contracting with every trust, make my heartbeat faulty, like it’s drunk and keeps skipping some beats. “But,” I clear my throat, “I won’t have time to change before I get to your house. Is that going to be a problem?”
He folds his hands on his stomach, a very hard sculpted stomach that I want to trace the grooves of with my tongue. I jerk my eyes up to his smirking lips, cursing myself for being obvious. “You keep breaking all my rules.”
“I swear, I’m not trying to…” Not a complete lie, but not the entire truth either. “…but you must admit how unreasonable it would be for me to get ready in a gym locker room.”
