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Finally, instead of blinding pain, a little bit of anger filtered through...and it was a good thing.
There was plenty to keep Leo’s mind occupied. It was his heart that was being stubborn.
He knew the remedy for that.
* * *
Throwing himself into his studies like never before, Leo blazed through his classes at Harvard with very little effort.
A year after Amelia snuck out of his life, he was drunk at a party when a pretty redhead straddled his lap.
“You look sad,” she said cheerfully. “I know the perfect thing to help. You Harvard boys need to keep your minds sharp so you can go on to run the world and all.” Tilting her head, she added, “I’m Sally. Come on home with me and let me shake you out of your slump.”
She ended up being the first person Leo had sex with after Amelia. They dated for several months and she broke up with him when she started to get attached.
“I’m falling for you and you’re not falling for me so...better we end this now so I don’t end up mangled, Leo.”
“I’m sorry, Sally.”
Planting a smacking kiss on him, she said, “That’s okay. You can’t help what your heart does. Thanks for all the good stuff with none of the awful stuff most exes have to talk about. You’re a good man and I’ll miss you.”
Then she was gone.
The following year, he dated Teresa. She was an exchange student from Spain obtaining her law degree so they had a lot in common. Three months into their relationship, she told him that she loved him.
His response was staring at her in blank confusion.
“I was testing the waters, Leo.” She released a heavy sigh. “You talk about someone named Amelia in your sleep and I wanted to know if you still had feelings for her. You do. Life is too short to settle for second place.”
Teresa quickly and a little angrily gathered her stuff from his place and slammed the door behind her.
Two years after Amelia left a letter on the pillow she’d slept on, Leo emailed the address she wrote on the bottom.
Hello, Amelia.
I’m about to start my second year of law school. I hope you’re okay. By all normal metrics, I’m told I’m doing great.
Leo
When he returned from class that night, there was a reply.
Leo, it’s so good to hear from you.
I’m alright. I get stronger every day. Thank you for reaching out. I hope you’re doing great because you feel great...not just because other people tell you that you are.
Amelia
He closed his computer without responding and dove headfirst into the outrageous course load he took on every semester.
For months, he cared about nothing but assignments and grades. He was determined to be the best. He didn’t return home for the summer so he could focus.
As he should have expected, his parents came to him.
Entering his apartment, he offered them something to drink. His mother looked around at his spotless space, the stacks of books, and the protein shakes he drank so he didn’t have to cook.
“Leo…” she whispered. “Ye’re still grievin’, son. This is why ye don’t come home.” She approached and wrapped her arms around him, laying her cheek on his chest. “It’s okay. Ye don’t have te hide from us.”
He almost collapsed from the pain that arced through his chest. Stumbling, his parents helped him to the sofa and settled at his sides as he hung his head with his elbows on his knees.
Tears fell to the carpet and he mumbled, “Sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Tell me what you need, son,” his father asked with his hand gripping the back of Leo’s neck. “Anything you need…”
“No one can give me what I need. I just have to learn to live without it...and that’s proving a lot harder than even I thought. Time will make it easier.”
Time didn’t make it easier.
All time did was remind Leo how long it had been since he laid eyes on the woman who was his soulmate...the person he felt incomplete without.
It was harder and harder not to curse when he thought about her.
