AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She still hurt deep in her chest. She still didn’t imagine it disappearing anytime soon.
Disregarding all common sense, she still loved him.
Rowan knew she was still too weak to write Gage, speak to him, or see him.
To get stronger, she needed more time.
* * *
Rowan did not fit in with other people at college. She hated alcohol, possessed zero patience with dating or the opposite sex in general, and followed a firm agenda she’d laid out in her mind that made her fellow students look at her sideways.
Sleep was a commodity she didn’t have nearly enough of but it would all be worth it in the end.
Receiving her bachelor’s in business in three years by piling on her course load, she dove immediately into her master’s program without a second thought.
All the education she needed, she planned to get as quickly as she could. There was no time to waste when a person made barely sixty dollars a week checking customers out at the local bookstore.
Surviving on ramen noodles, peanut butter, and bottled water - some Kool-Aid if she was feeling fancy - Rowan kept her head down, studied hard, and kept her priorities straight.
Despite not writing Nina or Gage, they continued to write her every few months. Their letters were like journal entries, telling her about their days and the people they met.
It was comforting to read them, even with the dull throb of pain in her heart, and Rowan revisited them when a rare bout of loneliness appeared in her own life.
The only person she spoke to once a month was Miss Jeffries. Returning from a double shift on a Saturday afternoon, Rowan called the elderly woman from the payphone in the hall to check in.
Miss Jeffries told her that Gage’s father had died suddenly the day before. “The medical folks suspect it was an aneurysm but they won’t know for a bit. I know you’re studying for middle of the year exams so don’t worry about comin’ for the funeral, Rowan. Still…”
“I’ll write to Mrs. Chambers now. I promise.”
“Maybe Gage, too. He was the youngest and he’s takin’ his daddy’s loss pretty hard.”
Swallowing, staring at the wall above the payphone, Rowan nodded. “Alright. I-I’ll write him.”
They talked for a few more minutes and Rowan walked to her room. She removed stationary from her desk and sat staring at it for several minutes in silence.
Tabitha Chambers and her husband Delson were fixtures in Rowan’s childhood. Gentle, kind people who laughed easily and always asked Rowan details about school. She wrote Mrs. Chambers first and cried as she did.
When it was done, she took out a fresh piece of paper and found herself unable to move, to write, or to formulate a single thought. How she wished she’d written Gage at least once before composing a letter about his father’s death.
Taking several deep breaths that helped to calm her somewhat, she placed the pen to paper and wrote what her heart directed.
Hello, Gage.
I just spoke to Miss Jeffries and she told me about your father. I was devastated for you and your family when I heard the news. I greatly admired your dad and always liked when he’d bellow across the yard about everyone getting some good eats off his grill.
He was always nice to me and I know he was an amazing father to you and your brothers. I’m sure you’re hurting and I hate that you are.
Please hug your mom for me and have her give you one back (also from me). I wrote her a letter as well.
If it’s any comfort, I’ve always thought that you were the most like your dad. You got your easy laughter and happy spirit from him, I think.
Don’t tell your brothers but they were always a bit stuffy compared to you and Mr. Chambers. They took themselves rather seriously.
You also look the most like him. When you start to miss him, take a look in the mirror. I know he was proud of you - all your life - and he’ll be watching to see what you do next.
I’m sorry, Gage. Truly.
Rowan
