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Turning his head, he kissed her palm. “I found you, you married me, and I received your brilliance, protection, and love...I think I’ve used up all my miracles. It’s your turn for those, Rowan.”
Crushing down her fear, her sadness, and her need to fight for him, she told him, “Make love to me, Bennett.”
He moved up her torso and settled his hips in the cradle of her body. Placing the head of his cock at the entrance of her pussy, he pushed forward carefully.
The pressure made her grit her teeth: then there was more pressure and pain that forced her to squeeze her eyes shut. She whimpered as she worked to regulate her breathing.
“Rowan?” She opened her eyes and focused on Bennett’s. “I’m sorry it hurts. If I move, it will ease.” She nodded. Wrapping his arms under her body, he held her tightly as he made shallow thrusts with his hips. “I’ve never felt anyone so tight, so hot.” He shook his head. “It’s been so long.”
One muscle at a time, Rowan forced herself to relax so she could let her husband in. It was a foreign sensation to have someone inside her but the pain did begin to ease as he moved.
His expression was tight, stressed. She brought his mouth to hers to distract him as much as herself. They kissed for a long time, his cock shuttling gently in and out of her body.
When he raised his head, he smiled. “Better?” She gave a small nod. “Making love to you at last, Rowan. How I have needed you.”
They maintained eye contact and several minutes later, she felt an orgasm building. Her lips parted at how different it felt coming from inside her. Bennett moved one hand around to fondle her nipple and she moaned as her body took over.
“Bennett...yes.”
“I’m going to fill you up, Rowan. I can’t hold back anymore.” Then he was gasping for air, his muscles tight, as liquid heat flooded her pussy. “More. I don’t want to stop.”
He rolled them and she found herself on top. “Keep going, Rowan. I need to feel more.” Hands on her hips, he showed her the movement and sighed as she settled into a rhythm. “Yes. God, yes.”
His palms cupped her breasts. “A child to love, a brilliant future running an organization that’s already flourishing in your care, and charging into the unknown as fearlessly as you always have. That’s my wish for you, Rowan.”
She noted a breathlessness in his voice but hid her terror.
“A-a life lived passionately where you never settle for less than you deserve...and only do what makes you happy...what serves the most delicate pieces of you that you hide from the world.”
Running her hands over his chest, she whispered, “I wanted you to share it with me.”
“If there’s a heaven, mine will be seeing you embrace knowledge, laughter, and love with every cell in your body.” She frowned. “You’re young and you can’t spend the rest of your life grieving.”
“Bennett…” She wept bitterly even as she worked her body on his cock. Through her tears, she admitted, “I want my heart to stop beating when yours does, Bennett.”
“That would destroy what I lovemostin the world. Your spark is what drew me to you. I need you to continue to live…and one day love again. Youneedto give love to survive.” He stroked her skin. “You must go on, Rowan.” She shook her head and cried harder. “Swear you’ll try.”
“No, Bennett. Please don’t ask me.” Her voice broke and her tears fell to his chest.
He sat up and wrapped her in his arms, holding her still. “All of this is going to be hard for you. I know that, Rowan.” He brought her face to his for a kiss and she held him as hard as she could. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
The truth of what was happening washed over her like a tidal wave and she moaned, “Ineedyou. Don’t you understand how much Ineedyou?”
“Breathe, darling. Ssh. Breathe for me.” They held each other and he rubbed her back. Against her hair, he said, “Be open to love if it comes to you. You’re too young to spend your life grieving. It will give me peace if I know you’ll try.”
She sat up. “No one will ever compare to you.”
“Naturally,” he replied with a wink and she released a watery laugh. He dried her tears, stroked her hair back from her forehead, and smiled. “That doesn’t mean there can’t be a runner up.” Leaning back, she placed her palm over his heart and felt how it raced erratically. “Don’t. Don’t think about it, Rowan.”
Staring into his eyes, she nodded slowly. Nudging him to lay back down, she held herself over him on her arm. He was still hard and she knew it wasn’t natural with the state of his heart and the medications he’d been on for years.
“Bennett?” She stroked her fingers through his hair.
“Yes, darling?”
“Take everything from me as if it isn’t the last time.” She stared into his eyes and started to move again. “Let me give you what you need.”
He put his hand over her breast and settled his fingers of his other over her clit. Moaning his name, she maintained a steady rhythm like she did when she ran. Beads of sweat formed on Bennett’s skin and the color started to drain from his face.
