Page 75 of Paging Dr. Douche


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His eyebrows shoot up and a small smirk crosses his lips.

“Shoot, no I mean, getting head … oh kill me now.” I mutter sending up another prayer to anyone who’s listening.

“So none of that then?” He asks, trying to move the conversation along.

“Uh, no, I want to know about your dreams and aspirations. What you do on your off time. How your employees act toward you. I’ll show you every last one of my articles, I don’t go for the jugular unless I have to.” I lean forward in the seat getting closer to him. He’s breaking down. This is going to work. I can’t believe it.

“Give me your phone number, let me consult with a few people to see how this will affect us. I’ll reach out in a few days to let you know what my decision is.

A few days, I don’t know if I have a few days. Sam is already going down the line firing people. If I tell him that I have a chance to interview Percival Snow he’s going to try and take over. If I sit around without giving him something I may be the next one up on the chopping block. No, a few days won’t do.

“You have until tomorrow afternoon.” I write my number on a napkin and slide it over to him, “If you haven’t made a decision by then, I’ll have to release the video.”

“Fucking vultures, all you paparazzi bastards.” Percy slides out of the booth, stuffing my number in his pocket and walking out of the small diner.

He’s not going to let that video go up, that I know for sure. All I need to do now is make sure I get every last drop of information out of him so I can come up with a good piece.

This is going to be the highlight of my career whether Percy knows it or not.

3. percy

“What the hell am I even thinking about this for? I should just let the police handle this.” I lean back in my chair.

“Yeah, you going to tell them a cute little journalist has been bullying you? What, did she pull your hair too?” Greg laughs and spins the chair he’s sitting in, clearly not concerned.

“Shut the hell up. It’s not that simple. The girl’s a damn nightmare, she doesn’t give up.” I’ve already told him everything that I found out about Ella and he did his due diligence. We’ve pulled up her work and just like she told me all of her stuff is tasteful and focuses on the current events and real world problems that most people don’t really give enough attention to until it’s too late. After reading some of her work I’m surprised she is working at that lowbrow paper, if she were to apply to the chronicle she’d be picked up right away.

“Why would she give up? She’s pretty much got you over a barrel and honestly what she’s asking for is no where near as bad as what others would ask for. She wants an exclusive and that’s all? Shit, you making it sound like she wants a 25 percent stake in the company. Percy, just show her a good time. Lay on the charm. Do the stupid interview.” Greg gets up from his chair, fixes his suit and walks out leaving me to stew in my own problems.

I know he’s right, this interview isn’t as bad as it could be. Sure my father and his father never gave interviews, but this is the twenty-first century, it might be a good idea for me to get some sort of an internet presence. It all depends on what information I allow to be shared. If I take control of what is released it could be good for the company.

My iphone is always in my hand so it takes me half a second to input Ella’s number and ring her. I intend to keep things completely professional, she’s going to take what I give her and nothing else.

“Hello?” A groggy soft voice answers the phone.

She’s sleeping? I glance over to the clock and see that it’s almost nine at night. It’s not uncommon for me to stay on the job until the late hours of the night. I didn’t assume that she’d be sleeping already. Now I feel like a fucking ass.

“Sorry to disturb you Ella, This is Percy Snow. We spoke earlier this afternoon.”

She laughs lightly, “How many Percy Snow’s do you think I give my number too?”

She better not be giving her number to anyone else. Who the hell does she think she is?

I shut my eyes for a second and pull the phone away from my ear to compose myself. What the hell was that? I had expected a surge of resentment or even annoyance, jealousy wasn’t in the cards.

“Yes, well, I’ve had my consultation and I’d like to take you up on your offer to do the interview.”

“Really! Oh that’s great! I’ll be at your office bright and early tomorrow morning and we can get started.”

“Wait, what do you need to come to my office for? We can have the interview right over the phone.” I tell her, confused by what she plans on doing.

“Oh no Percy, you’re not just going to get me to go away with a few lines about your goals and failures. I want to really get a good look at what makes you tick. I want to spend some time in your shoes, see you interact with clients and staff. I want to know all about you.” She says hurriedly on the phone. She’s getting excited about the possibility of following me around, but it feels like someone is tightening a noose around my neck. This is going to test every ounce of control that I have.

4. ella

I wake up much earlier than I need to and leave the house, this is the first day of the rest of my career. I know I should have asked for a better itinerary from him last night, but I was just so excited with the fact that he’s finally agreed to the interview. I called in this morning when I knew Sam wouldn’t be at work to inform him that I’d be out in the field chasing down a story.

Larry’s still on the hunt to find out who the other man in the video is and would call me when he gets a hit. I know I should just wait for him to reach out, but I’m too keyed up.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com