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Duncan came over to her and put one hand on her waist, keeping his body away from hers but just the lightest touch of his hand ignited such sensations in her that Ailsa could not pull away. Her mind insisted she push his hand from her and tell him he repulsed her but that would be a lie. Instead, her body danced to a very different tune and she became lost to anything but the rush of the river and the breath of the wind in the trees and the sunlight in his eyes turning them from dark brown to fiery amber.
He leaned into her slowly, hesitantly and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. When she did not move he continued downwards to her cheek and behind her ear which made her shiver. The way he was barely touching her, excited and frustrated her. She could sense the restraint in him and some reckless compulsion urged her to break it. Ailsa gasped as he pulled her dress off one shoulder and his head moved lower to kiss her there, causing goose bumps to sweep over every inch of exposed skin.
A traitorous desire took hold of her and spiralled out of control. She looked up into the sunlight winking through the bright canopy of leaves above her. Was this all it took, one touch of his mouth on her and all her good intentions, her vow to hate him, gone? She had to be true to who she was and she had to respect herself. She bit her lip hard trying to find the strength to push him away but lightning bolts of lust were streaking through every part of her.
To her dismay, he suddenly stepped back.
‘This is not right Ailsa,’ he said. ‘Forgive me.’
Duncan had pulled himself away from Ailsa reluctantly. He sensed her surrender was close and had seduced enough women to recognise it but that was not his aim. He had to be patient for a brief sating of lust would not give him what he craved. It would shame both of them and be a repeat of his wedding night, so he tried to master himself.
His manhood was steel from wanting her but instead, he reached up and pulled a stray leaf out of her hair. ‘Can’t have you arriving back at the castle looking like a maenad, people might think we have been up to no good’ he said, a smile dancing in his eyes.
‘You’ve made me your whore in return for my brother’s life, why not look like one too,’ she said bitterly, tugging her dress back up.
‘You are no whore, you are my wife, albeit a reluctant one and whether you believe it or not, I am proud to call you by that name.’ He looked at her intently. ‘It is no disgrace Ailsa, to want a man to touch you, to enjoy it. Why do you punish yourself for it? You have a passionate nature and yet you deny it.’
‘You are wrong. I feel no passion when I am with you, I feel only contempt.’
He sighed. ‘That being the case I will not make love to you unless you beg me to.’
‘I will never do that. I already told you I would never want you and I meant it,’ she replied tartly, clinging on to the remnants of her pride.
‘Keep telling yourself that if it gives you comfort my beauty, recent events would suggest otherwise,’ and before she could protest he led her to Fingal and lifted her up onto his back.
In quiet contemplation and some confusion of feeling they rode back to the castle. When they arrived Duncan turned to her. ‘Do not leave the castle alone again Ailsa, it is not safe and I would have you safe,’ he said softly and with that, he was gone.
Ailsa ran into her chamber and slammed the door. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and shivered in spite of the fire. If she gave in to him, allowed herself the indulgence of feeling something, of trusting him in any way, she would be consumed by him. But oh how he had made her feel, the soaring joy of it.
Even through the shame of his touching her, she saw the power of her own need. The hunger growing in her had to be resisted. She had resolved to bear her marriage as best she could and look to the future. Since losing everything what could possibly hurt her now? Nothing, save a budding infatuation so powerful it could bring all her resolve crashing down.
The object of that infatuation rode straight back out of the castle to the nearby loch. Impervious to the biting wind that swept across the water, Duncan tore off his clothes and plunged headlong into the icy black depths. ‘Gods be damned!’ he cursed as he surfaced, water dripping down his broad back from his slick black hair. Though the cold numbed his skin and put him to violent shivering it was next to useless in dampening down the flames of desire that licked at his body and mind. He was not sure if he had the self-control for this game he must play so he and the loch would have to become close acquaintances in the coming weeks if he was to win it.
Chapter Eleven
Several balmy days were to pass before Ailsa encountered Duncan again. Raids along the borderlands had been intensifying and he had set off to counter them with a band of his most hardened fighters. Rory had been left in charge and Ailsa came across him as she sought out her favourite place on the battlements, or perhaps he came across her, she never knew which it was.
‘How does this fine morning find you, my lady?’
‘I am well thank you, Rory. I must press you on something. I have a great deal of worry for the safety of the villagers with Duncan gone. Is Cailleach safe?’
‘As safe as can be expected, given the parlous state of the fortifications when we first arrived. We have built up the armoury and reinforced the ramparts and such.’
Ailsa looked away.
‘Forgive me Ailsa, I did not mean to insult either you or your family.’
‘No, you speak as you find. My father always kept the defences in good order but my brother…’
‘Is a different man entirely.’
‘Yes.’ Ailsa took a deep breath. Since his release, Robert had sent no word of his whereabouts; he had not enquired as to the well-being of his youngest sister. Buying his freedom from Dunslair’s dungeons by submitting to a forced marriage seemed to make her a traitor in his eyes for why else would her brother have abandoned her so completely? It cut her deeply that he had done so and it was a large part of the burden of misery she carried.
‘Forgive me,’ said Rory. ‘I spoke in haste. I am sure you have great affection for your brother in spite of his shortcomings.
‘Of course, I do and now I don’t even know where he is since he was released from the Campbell dungeons. There has been no word and now I doubt I shall ever see him again, Duncan would never allow it.’
‘Are you so sure of that?’
