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‘That won’t even slow me down,’ he snarled.
‘What a fool you are, Conall, for you can no more force a woman to have you than I can act the fine lady. It is not who we are or who we want to be.’
He worked his jaw back and forth where she had hit him, and he locked eyes with her for the longest time, and then he sighed, ‘You’re right.’ He gave a little laugh and looked down at the floor. ‘It was a bad plan from the start, but I was desperate. I can’t force you because whether you believe it or not, Kenna, I actually care for you. So if I can’t force you….’
Conall got on one knee before her and put his hand around her back, and dragged her forward to the edge of the bed.
‘What are you doing?
‘If I can’t force you, I can only beg you.’ He stroked her hair.
‘Get your hands off me.’
‘I don’t want to, and I can’t.’
He leant up and kissed her tenderly.
‘Stop it, Conall,’ she murmured against his mouth.
‘I don’t think you want me to.’
‘Conall, we can’t. It will be the ruin of us both.’
‘Look me in the eye and swear that you don’t want me. Because if you can do that, Kenna, I will stand aside, let you marry whoever you like and never approach you again. But if you can’t, I must tell you I have wanted you from the first moment I saw you, my light in that terrible darkness, and I haven’t stopped wanting you since. I want you every which way, Kenna. I want you in my life, in my future, and I definitely want you in my bed.’
‘So you would dishonour me to get your way.’
‘What good is your honour to you, tell me that. Your father was going to sell it to the highest bidder. Meyrick thinks it is a prize to be won and then thrown away. It hasn’t brought you any joy, has it, and there should be some in your life, don’t you think? If it’s all suffering and honour and sacrifice, what is the point of it all? I think we are meant to be together, Kenna. Is it so wrong that I want you so badly?’
‘It is your lust speaking, Conall.’
‘I want you as a man wants a woman. I want you under me and I want to be inside you. It is all I can think of when you are near, and if I am wicked to think it, so be it. The Devil take me for it, but I’d go to hell a happy man if it meant I could have you, just once.’
‘And what then? Have you suddenly decided you love me, Conall?’
‘I don’t know. All I know is that I love you more than any other man ever will. I know that is not enough, not what you want to hear, but I’ll not lie to you. I promise I will never do that.’
He got up and sat beside her on the bed, taking both her hands in his. ‘Don’t think about what comes after, Kenna. When we were running for our lives, and we hid in that cottage, and you almost let me have you, did you think of the future then? I didn’t. I just felt a kind of power and hope rise up in me when I held you in my arms and a need burning me up that would not be denied. I never felt that before, not with anyone. It is as if you reached into my soul and eased it, lifted it up. I cannot put it into words.’
‘Perhaps it was gratitude you felt.’
‘Gratitude feels solid and decent, but Kenna, what I feel when I touch you is not decent, not decent at all. It is wicked, reckless, wrong and exciting, and I always want to feel like that. Don’t you?’
He dragged her against his bare chest and kissed her in earnest.
Conall was magnificent and wicked. He could be the Devil seducing her into hell. But he was right. She did want him, more than anything, and it excited her, the thought of her hands moving over him, feeling his muscles, his warm skin, his manhood heavy in her hand, belonging to her to do with as she wished. She wanted to taste his skin, breathe in the scent of him and have all his vigour and lust for life pour into her, to fill her with pleasure.
‘If you died tomorrow, Kenna, what would you regret?’ he said.
His eyes held hers, sinful and black, and her resolve stumbled and fell.
‘Not having you. Not knowing what you felt like inside me.’
‘No regrets it is then,’ he said, smiling, as he pushed her back onto the bed.
Conall thought he would make love to Kenna slowly and gently, seeing as it was her first time, but he soon came to realise that what Kenna lacked in experience she more than made up for in enthusiasm. It didn’t take long for them to rip each other’s clothes off and for him to be able to see her in all her glory, as all the while her hands roamed over him and she showered him with kisses, on his chest, his neck, down his belly. At that point, he stopped her, thrusting his hands into her long blonde hair, pulling her head back up.
‘If you go lower, it will be the end of me,’ he gasped, claiming her warm cushion of a mouth with his.
