Page 114 of Never Falling


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"It's fine. I don't care." I headed toward the front door. "I'm going out. I'm..."

"Alice," he said. "Wait."

"Why should I wait? I'm done waiting. I'm just done. I don't even know what this is."

"Alice," he said softly. "This was years ago. It had nothing to do with the feelings between you and me, and it has nothing to do with what we're trying to embark on now," he said softly. He grabbed my hand. "I know this is a crazy situation, and I know you're hurt and upset, and I understand, but we've never had anything officially. And tonight is meant to be our first date, and I still want us to go on that date. I still want us to pursue whatever this is because I have real and genuine feelings for you. Babs was someone I had a friends-with-benefit situation with for a while, but it doesn't mean anything, and we don't go on dates. We just hooked up here and there. I haven't seen her since you've been in town. I haven't even thought about her. In fact, when someone was banging on the door, I didn't even remember she existed."

Barbara rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. That's not..."

"Enough," he said and looked toward me. "I really like you, Alice. In fact, I have stronger feelings than like. And I don't want to scare you because this is all so new, but I've always had a special place for you in my heart. And when we made love, I felt like I was finally home. And I want to do this right. I want to be a stand-up guy for you. I want to show you that I will fight for you and do whatever it takes. I want to make you feel special. I want to make you feel seen. I want to make you feel heard. I want to make all your dreams come true. I want you to know that."

He looked over at Barbara. "I don't believe that I'm the father of whatever child you're carrying. We could take a DNA test as soon as we're able, but that's all that's going to be between us. If I am somehow your baby's father, I will pay child support, and I want to be in that child's life, but there is no us. You know that. And I haven't seen you in months, and you know that the last time we met up, I told you I didn't think this was working for me anymore."

He looked over at me. "Please. Alice, I'm begging you. Will you give me a real shot? Will you give us a real shot? I know I have completely messed up this entire situation, but you have to know that there's no one more important to me in my life right now than you. I gave up a job opportunity in Brazil."

"You gave it up for me? I didn't want you to give it up. You wanted that job. You..."

"No, I didn't want to leave. I only wanted to be able to make enough money for the reasons you know about." He looked over at Barbara, and I could tell he didn't want her knowing. I nodded. "But I gave up the job for you."

"You didn't say that when you told me you were no longer going to Brazil."

"Because I didn't want to overwhelm you. I didn't want you to think you owed me anything. I didn't want you to feel like you had to date me or sleep with me or be with me or commit to me just because of that. Whatever we have, I want it to be something special between us. I know you're going on different dates, and you're meeting different guys online and at dating events, but I want to be the guy. I want to be the number one guy. I want to be your guy, and I want you to give me a chance to prove that I'm worthy of you."

I stared at him, my heart racing. These were words that I'd hoped to hear for years. And even though he was saying them, it didn't feel as special as I hoped it would. Maybe because Barbara was standing there glaring at us both, holding her stomach.

I didn't know how I'd feel if he'd gotten her pregnant. If this horrible woman, this strikingly beautiful woman who he'd been having sex with for years had his child, I never wanted to be the sort of person who would make a man choose me over their child. It wasn't fair to an unborn kid. I didn't want to be that person in anyone's life, but I wasn't sure that I could get into a relationship with him knowing there was a possibility he'd have a child with someone else, that this woman would be the mother of his kid and always have a bond with him.

"Please, Alice," he said, grabbing my hands. "You have to know that I'd do anything to give us a go. I'd do anything to let you know that I was worthy of your love."

"Love?" Barbara said, her jaw dropping. "You're not saying you're in love with her. You can't be in love with her." She stepped forward. I could see the shock on her face as her hands fell from her stomach. "You're seriously in love with this girl."

Foster looked over at her. "I don't expect you to understand, Barbara, because we never had a meaningful relationship with any depth."

Barbara looked at him and then looked at me. "I feel like I'm in a movie," she said, shaking her head. "You're the guy who said that you would never fall in love, that you would never get married, that you never wanted commitment, and now you're telling this rando..."

"I'm not a rando," I said, speaking up for myself finally. "And you need to speak to me with some respect, and you need to speak to him with some respect. Because if you are going to be the mother of his child, this is not going to work for him or for me."

Barbara's jaw dropped, and she nodded. She looked over at Foster. "Well, damn," she said. There was silence for a couple of moments as we all stood there. "Guess I'm going to go," Barbara said.

"But we need to figure out," Foster said quickly, and Barbara rolled her eyes.

"There's nothing to figure out," she said. "I'm not pregnant yet." She shrugged and looked over at me. "I want a baby. I'm getting older. I figured we have sex, you think I'm pregnant already, we don't wear a condom, you get me pregnant." She cackled. "I mean, does it really matter at what point I got pregnant if I get pregnant at some point?" My jaw dropped, and I stared at her. I looked over at Foster, and he sighed.

"You're despicable. You know that, right, Barbara?"

"What, was I despicable those billion and one times that you fucked me?"

"Enough." I didn't respond to her.

"He likes anal a lot. And in my experience, men who like to give it to you up the ass that much are probably closeted gays. So watch out for that." She smiled at me sweetly. "Anyway, ta-ta." She looked over at Foster. "Text me when you're feeling horny. I'll still be down." She winked at him and sauntered out the front door. Foster and I stared at each other for a couple of seconds, then he sighed.

"Do you hate me?" I stared at him, the worried look on his face, and all I could do was start laughing. "Oh no. Why are you laughing?" he said. "I'm sorry. I..."

"It's fine. It's really fine."

"Are you sure?" he said.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'm just glad that for once I'm not the one who's coming into the relationship with all the baggage and the drama. In fact," I said, tilting my head to the side, "you are bringing way more drama than I would've expected."

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