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"Of course I did. You guys were going out, and you invited me."
"You're so sweet, Foster Sloane."
"Thank you," I said. I watched as Oliver's taxi pulled off, and I put my hand out to wave down the next taxi. It pulled over, and I let out a sigh of relief. "Hey," I said to the taxi driver and gave him the address. "Come on, Alice. Let's get inside."
"Where are we going?" she said. "Where are you taking me?"
"We're going home."
"Oh, okay. Are you going to give me the present when we get home?"
"I gave you your present," I said, pretending to be dumb.
"But you said you got me another present too."
"I did?" I shook my head. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. You said you got me another present. You didn't give it to me because you didn't want Rosalie to be jealous that you got me two presents, and I want to know what it is."
She pressed her hand on my thigh, and I shifted slightly in the seat. Her fingers ran up, and I stared at her. I wasn't sure if she knew what she was doing to me, but her fingers were very close to my crotch, and I could feel myself growing hard.
"Alice," I said, grabbing her hand and moving it away. "I think we should get you home and into bed so that—"
"I'm not ready to go to bed," she said, looking up at me with doleful eyes. "Let's do something when we get home."
"Um, what would you like to do?"
"I don't know, but I have an idea." She giggled.
"Um, okay."
"You know that guy who was at the bar earlier?" she said, wrinkling her nose.
"Sam." I said his name distastefully.
"Yeah, Sam," she said loudly. "When I was at the speed dating event, I thought he was so nice, and I think that's my problem. Why do I think these guys are so nice, and then when I get to know them, they're douchebags?"
"I mean, we're all fooled by people." I was hoping she'd lower her voice because I could see the taxi driver staring at us in the rearview mirror.
"You know when we were at the bar, he started talking about going to this strip club in Vegas, and he just kept saying, 'It smells like fishy pussy. It smells like fishy pussy,' and I'm just like does pussy really smell fishy?" She looked at me with an interested expression on her face. "So answer me."
"Sorry, what?" I blinked at her.
"Is pussy fishy?" she said.
"Um, I think we should have this conversation later, Alice."
"I'm just curious. Like, does it smell fishy? Does it taste fishy? Does it—"
I bit down on my lower lip. "Alice, this is really not the time or place for this conversation."
"I'm just wondering because if it is fishy, what sort of fishy? Like, is my pussy fishy? Have you ever smelled me?"
"Um, Alice," I said, my eyes widening, though I would love to have my face buried between her legs.
"Like, is it like salmon? Is it like tuna? Is it—"
"Alice," I said, grabbing her hand and pressing it to her mouth. "Shh. That's not the conversation we want to be having right now."
