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I lean against the wall, watching him as he takes the ladder up to the top level with that bright smile on his face. And goddamn-it, if I don’t take the bait, wanting to know what has the nutcase so pleased with life.
“Fuck,”I grumble under my breath as soon as I decide to follow him up. Huffing out my irritation, I climb to the top of the RV.
My breath catches at the sight of the sky above, enclosing us in a dark, glistening dome. “God.”
“This is the closest you’ll ever be to him,” Bronson says, smiling at me with his phone pressed to his ear. I peer around the second level, my eyes scanning the barbecue, the telescope, and the hot tub in the corner. Steam rises from it. Bubbles simmer away.
What the fuck?
He is out of his goddamn mind if he thinks I am just getting in there with him as if we are on our fucking honeymoon or some bullshit.
“Outlaw!” I hear him say, pulling my gaze back to him. I watch as he dips to turn the gas canister on before lighting the barbecue. “In a few days. I have a present for you.” He turns. Gazing at me, he grins. His eyes and the sideways curve to his lips both sing of mischief. “Yeah. You remember when we watchedAladdin?” He pauses for a moment and my eyes widen, locked on his. “Well,” he says smoothly. “I bumped into Princess Jasmine. And let me tell you, she is . . .” His stark, turquoise-coloured eyes soften on my face, provoking tears to swell within mine. I fight their invasion. “Beautiful.And frog me, she wants to meet you, Outlaw.”
When I hear a little girl squeal through the phone, my heart nearly stops dead in my chest. Does he have a daughter? No.No.Shaking my head, I feel a cramp move through me. I swallow hard, forcing down the image of the future we promised each other all those years ago. A future he has with another woman. I suddenly feel light-headed, my legs buckling under the weight of this new information.
“Why do you like this movie so much, baby?”
“How can I not? Jasmine is the only Disney princess who looks remotely like me. And she is so fierce. She just wants to run away from her life and be part of a whole new world. I get her.”
Oh my God.
I hear the girl squeal again. And I think about her mother. . . No. I can’t. I have Perry. I left. I can’t lose my mind over this. I grip the edge of the railing. Opening my mouth, I suck thick air in. Air that doesn’t want to be inside me. My heart doesn’t either, thrashing around, ready to explode.
Just breathe, Shoshanna.
I move to sit at the table while he hollers and laughs with the little girl on the other end of the phone, animated and annoying in his adorability.
My heart hurts so fucking much.
When my gaze lands on an outdoor fridge, glowing with internal fluorescents, I grab a bottle of wine and a chilled glass and pour myself a drink to numb the memories.
Nearly thirty minutes later, the bottle is half empty. Or half full, according to Bronson Butcher. I chuckle at that thought - the sound once again. . . strange given the situation I have found myself in.
My head feels a little fuzzy.
He finishes cooking on the barbecue; it seems he’s been told to let the girl on the phone go to bed. Tucking the handset into his back pocket, he walks a salad and marinated chicken over to the table.
He is visibly calmer, and I’m in awe of him and her and that expression on his face right now. I always knew he would make a wonderful father.
I quell the sob that wants to move up my throat. “You have a daughter?”
He lets out a deep chuckle, shaking his head at me. “No, baby. Calm down. That’s Maxipad’s little girl.”
Well,fuck.
Calm soars through me when it shouldn’t. His admission to not having a wonderful life with a daughter he adores shouldn’t bring me relief. I always was so incredibly possessive of him. I stifle my pleased sigh by sipping more wine. “What?” I force a light chuckle. “You mean Max Butcher let someone get close enough to have a daughter with him?”
“Only one person.” Bronson slides in opposite me, eyes glued to mine, just like they always are. “Yeah.”
“Wow.” Ignoring his eyes on me, I peer out over the horizon, feeling a strange wave of something move through my stomach, settle there, sink in deep. Jealousy, I think. Jealous another woman is part of their lives, in the way I almost was. I glance back at him while he watches me with that thoughtful gaze. “What’s her name?”
“Whose, baby? Cassidy is Max’s wife,” he says. “And Kelly is my little outlaw. She’s three.”
“Kelly.”I smile through a soft sigh. I sip more wine, needing it, needing it to numb the feelings as they spread with the warmth of the liquid inside me. “You named her,” I state, and it isn’t a question. I know he did.
“I wanted to name Xander after Ned Kelly. But Maxipad wanted to name him Xander, the defender of man.”
“And you can’t say no to Max. Ever. Can you?”
