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I stare at her.
“Do formula and diapers cost a thousand dollars a month?”
She shakes her head, not dissuaded at all.
“Of course not. But I need to start planning for his or her future, and this will help me build up my savings.”
I steeple my fingers, as if deep in thought. But then I decide to go for it.
“Sure. In fact, why don’t we make that ten thousand a month for your time?”
Elsa’s eyes go wide.
“Are you kidding?” she asks in a low, trembling voice. “This isn’t funny if it’s a joke.”
I merely nod, unperturbed. “You make a valid point, sweetheart. You need to be able to take care of your baby once he or she arrives, so asking for more is the wise thing to do. Besides, money is no object to me and I’m more than happy to pay for our arrangement, so long as this free use deal works out for both of us. So ten thousand? Would that be enough?”
Chelsea’s mouth opens and closes a few times before she manages to nod.
“Yes, that would be plenty. Thank you.”
I shrug again and smile.
“It’s no big deal because again, money is no object. Now is there anything else on your mind?”
She stares at me.
“Such as…?”
I shrug.
“I just want to make sure we have everything ironed out before we actually begin. It’s easier to get these things taken care of before things start, rather than being in the middle and then trying to fix a fuck-up.”
Chelsea nods slowly.
“Well, there is one thing,” she says in a slow tone.
I nod.
“What is it?”
She sighs and stares down at her hands, but then looks up again and fixes me with a look.
“While we’re in this ‘free use’ relationship, you absolutely, definitely, one hundred percent, cannot sleep with Elsa. I won’t allow you to be with me and my mom at the same time. You can’t touch her or even so much as hold her hand because it’s just too wrong and perverted.”
I nod with a serious look.
“Of course not. I wouldn’t dream of it. In fact, I’m not sure if she’s told you, but we haven’t been together in over two years. Elsa’s illness, of course.”
Chelsea nods slowly, taking in a deep breath before letting it out again.
“Yes, that’s what my mom said as well, but still. I wanted to make sure we’re on the same page with respect to this issue because I’ll drop you like a hairball if I find out you’ve been with Elsa.”
I grin, holding up my hand in a vow.
“Scout’s Honor,” I say. “It will only be you, and only you, honey.”
She nods, taking another deep breath.
