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This time I lay in bed for less than five minutes before I feel the pull of exhaustion.
I hope I’m wrong about her, for all our sake, is the last thought that floats through my brain before I pass out.
The next couple of days after going shopping and to the club with the guys, pass for the most part uneventfully. Zander seems more than happy to spend time with me, even though Spencer and Roderick are MIA more often than not. Not that I care, they don’t owe me anything.
Zander shows me around the house and the grounds. Both are enormous and breathtaking, but my favorite part is the large pond and trees scattered throughout the backyard. I’ve never seen a lot of wildlife and nature, and every new thing we see here is fantastic; we spend hours outside.
He tells me about the college they all go to and helps me learn a few other essential foods to make. He loves to cook because he loves to eat, but he insists that Roderick is the best of the three of them. I'm just happy to learn, so I don’t really care who teaches me.
He shows me some of his favorite movies and how to use the TV and stereo. But, of all the things I didn’t know, the one that seemed to shock Zander the most was music. Well, besides the fact that I can’t shoot a gun, that seemed to shock him pretty good too.
He was teaching me to cook grilled cheese when he turned a song on his phone, telling me that silence makes him stir crazy. As we worked on the food, he would sing along at certain parts, and the happiness on his face was damn near contagious.
After two or three songs, I found that I was able to nod my head to the beat of a few of them, the words were good, and the feeling that it brought was almost calming, even if the sounds were anything but.
When we were done cooking and sat to eat, I asked him who sang them. He let me know it was a cover band calledOur Last Night.
Something about my face must have clued him in that I had no idea what that meant because he continued to explain that cover bands sing other people's music. But this particular band makes popular songs in a more punk style.
As we cleaned up, he showed me the originals of a few that we had heard covered while we cooked, and while I like the covers better, Zander was shocked that I didn’t know any of the originals, even though they were what he claimed to be some top-rated songs by very known artists.
I explained that I never got to listen to music unless it was on while I was with a client. He looked at me as if I had grown another head. When we finished cleaning up, he pulled me down the hall to his room, claiming he needed to “educate me.” We spent the rest of the night in his room as he showed me all things music.
He showed me different genres. Music he loved and music he hated, claiming that while he didn't like it, I might, and he wanted to let me form my own opinion on it. Nobody had ever really cared what I thought about anything, let alone something so simple, and the fact that he did made my stomach knot and my cheeks heat.
I woke up the next day in my bed. At first, I was confused, but it didn't take long before I put two and two together and realized he must have put me in bed when I passed out on his floor at some point the night before.
He could have easily left me or put me in his bed. Honestly, I would have been fine with either, but the fact that he brought me to my own bed had my brain short-circuiting.
Years of giving my body to people made boundaries nonexistent, and I didn’t realize I would ever find someone who respected them as such a turn-on. But I'd be damned if it wasn’t.
As I stand in the shower washing my hair, I let my head fall back, and the water runs over my face. Just remembering the last few days has heat rising to my cheeks, and I feel like a child.
This wasn’t part of the plan at all.
I need to get my shit together.
I finish rinsing off and step out, grabbing a towel as I go. I melt into it as I dry my face. It’s so soft I would swear it was a blanket, not a towel. I didn't even know towels could be this soft.
I throw on my underwear and one of the sundresses that I grabbed with the guys the other day. It’s dark blue and fades into purple as it goes down, with prints of stars and moons all over in a silver that catches the light beautifully. It falls to just past midthigh and swishes when I move around. The neckline is a deep but tasteful plunge that shows off my cleavage just enough to make me feel good but not sleazy.
I feel like a goddess, and it feels even better knowing I picked this dress for myself instead of someone making me wear it.
I slip on my new combat boots, and while it throws off the overly girly look of the outfit, it helps me feel more comfortable, so I couldn’t care less.
I leave my hair down to dry, even though it falls to about my waist and will probably leave a wet spot on my back. Unfortunately, I don’t have much choice. It's either that or in a ponytail since I don’t know how to do anything else with it, and eventually, having my hair up gives me a headache. Maybe I’ll get it cut?
I throw my towel in the basket and shut the light off as I head through my room to meet Clair.
Over the last few days, I haven’t seen much of her or her husband. They have spent a lot of time and long hours at the station. Clair has been doing follow-ups on my girls, and when I do see her, it’s usually only for long enough to get an update on them before she’s headed out the door or to bed.
A lot is being done to track down if any of them had families or people looking for them. And I appreciate that Clair was so quick to jump on it, but it makes me feel useless that she keeps declining my help.
“You need time to adjust, Jade. If I need your help, I promise to let you know.” She keeps telling me, and while I trust that she’s telling me the truth, I can’t help but feel like I’m not doing enough for them.
Today is Sunday, though, and while Clair did go into the office for a while today, she said not much can be done on Sundays, as most other businesses are closed. She's been reaching out to many places in hopes of connecting the dots with the girls.
So, because of that, she suggested we go out together. She wants to shop and get food, and while I just went shopping with the guys and feel like I have more than enough stuff, I get the feeling this is more for her than me, so I agree.
