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I look down at myself and wonder if that’s how I look to other people. We weren’t always fed while in holding. Mostly I was given food before a job to ensure I didn’t faint or while on a job that was more high class than just sex. Our nutrition wasn’t their concern so long as we stayed alive. I made sure to eat every meal and take any and all sources of hydration to be in the best condition I could to protect the girls, but oftentimes I shared with them, and my muscle mass is probably sad to the average person.
I make a mental note to start eating more and have Zander teach me a few other things to make so that I can put some meat on my bones now that it’s an option.
It’s been a long time since I’ve considered myself weak, but the thought of what potential I have now excites me, and I quickly stuff that feeling down. I can’t afford to get attached.
“Jade, this is Wella, and he’s going to help us get you a style all your own.” Clair says, pulling me from my thoughts. I look up to see them both looking at me and wonder how long I was just stuck in my head.
Based on the smile on both of their faces, it couldn’t have been too long.
“Oh, Clair Bear! She is D-e-vine!” Wella says before he walks over to me. He looks me up and down before starting to circle me, and I have to fight against the urge to turn with him to keep my back from being to him.
He’s looking at you for the purpose of clothing, Jade. Chill the fuck out. I mentally scold myself.
He claps his hands loudly when he makes it back in front of me again, causing me to startle. He doesn’t seem to notice, but I see Clair smile over his shoulder.
“To the rooms with you, my dears! I’ll be back in just a few, and we can get this party started!” He all but sings as he shimmies his shoulders at us before disappearing into the racks of clothes once again.
I turn back to Clair with wide eyes, hoping my silent question ofwhat the fuckis properly conveyed on my face so I don’t have to say it out loud and risk him overhearing.
Clair simply loops her arm in mine and leads us to the back as we were directed.
“Wella is a lot, I know, but there is nobody I trust more to help you find clothes and your own style. He may be a little crazy, but his fashion is always on point.” She tells me just before we reach a long red curtain that she doesn’t hesitate to pull back. The space behind it isn’t huge, but it is large enough that I’m sure a few people could stand in there comfortably. There is a small bench and loads of hooks on the wall to the right, and the whole wall at the back of the building is floor-to-ceiling mirrors.
I catch my reflection in the mirror and again fall in love with what Mel did for me. I’ve never been huge on caring about my looks, other than how I can use them to help keep the girls safe, but I swear I could stand here all day and look at my hair. I have never felt more like myself than I do now.
I see Clair smiling at me and feel my cheeks heat, having been caught admiring myself. I pull myself together and turn away from the mirror, instead looking around the shop. There are racks and racks of clothes as far as the eye can see, and I’m not sure if it’s my lack of understanding fashion or a lack of organization, but to me, it looks like they are just kind of wherever.
The longer I look around, the more anxious I become. I’m not sure this will work out, but I’m willing to give it a shot if Clair swears by him. She brought me to Mel, and she was fantastic, so I guess I’ll just suck it up for now.
Quicker than I thought possible, Wella is back. He has clothes piled so high in his arms that it's a wonder he can even navigate the space around him. He makes his way into what I assume is the fitting room that we stand in and drops the pile with a huff.
The moment his hands are free, he’s moving again, making piles and sorting things in the space in front of the mirror on the ground. In just a few minutes, he sorted it all into what type of clothes they are, like pants, shirts, skirts, shorts, etc.
“Okay, so this should be enough to get you started. I had most everything in your size already, but a few pieces will be too big, and if you like them, we can just order your size, so no biggie, dear.” He tells me as he moves back towards the racks of clothes again. I open my mouth to ask him how he knew what size I wear; shit, I didn’t even know my sizes until I went to the mall with the guys the other day. But that question is quickly forgotten once the rest of what he said registers.
“You're going to get more?” I ask him in utter disbelief before he can get too far away.
He stops and looks back at me before a mischievous grin appears on his face. “Oh dear, clothes are one of the best ways to express yourself. You can never have enough.” He says, then he shoots me a wink and continues on before I can reply.
Clearly, arguing with him will get me nowhere, so instead, I turn to Clair and hope she can see reason. “There is no way I need all these clothes, Mrs. Spade. I’m more than okay with what I got with the guys the other day.” I tell her as I gesture to the literal piles and piles of clothes at our feet.
“Jade dear, we have been over this. Please call me Clair.” She insists for probably the hundredth time since I met her. I give her a nod because I know that’s what she wants, and I’m trying, but it’s not exactly normal to be on a first-name basis with anyone but the girls, and well, now the guys, too, I guess.
She gives me a small smile, and I know she understands. She always seems to understand. “As for the clothes, nobody said you had to buy them all. Honestly, you don’t have to buy any of it if you don’t want to.”
I feel some of the tension leave my body as she reassures me.
“Nonetheless, I would love for you to try them on.” I feel my eyes go wide, and she must also see it. She gives a small chuckle at my reaction, but honestly, there are so many things here that it would probably take me all day to go through it all, and this isn’t even all of it yet.
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s not that bad, dear; the quicker you get started, the faster it will go.” She puts her hand on my lower back and slightly pushes me towards the clothes. I don’t even try to argue. If today has taught me anything, it’s that Clair always gets her way in the end, and I have a sinking suspicion that if I don’t try them on, she will just buy it all anyways.
I open my mouth to say something, but before I can, she’s pulling the curtain between us, trapping me in with all the clothes. Just before she disappears behind the curtain, I catch her eye, and while she may have a mischievous smile on her face as she twists my arm to be her dress-up Barbie, the look in her eyes is pure happiness. How the fuck do I argue with that?
Damn it. Guess I should probably get started.
* * *
Hours later,I had tried on more clothes than I had worn or even seen in my whole life. We had decided on two piles, things I liked and things I didn’t, and after the first few items, I even started to enjoy it.
