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“And yer worried about hurting the lass’s feelings when ye have tae send her away,” Keir offered.
“It’s nae that, Keir,” Duncan sighed. “It’s far more complicated.”
Duncan reflected on the night he and Elaine had spent together, but it wasn't just what had happened in his bed that he ruminated. Elaine had sat with him and comforted him when he finally revealed his grief to her. Since her arrival, she had been kind and caring, and aside from her natural beauty, she possessed an intellect as well as wit and humor.
“Duncan?” Keir suddenly looked at him with an expression of realization. “Have ye lost yer heart tae yer mistress?” His eyebrows raised in wonder.
There was no point denying it to himself, but he was still not sure if he should reveal it to Keir. “If that were the case,” Duncan replied carefully, “would it be such a dreadful thing?”
“I dinnae ken what yer asking,” Keir replied diplomatically. “Is it that yer worried what people will think because of Cora and Eoin? Or because Elaine is a woman of pleasure?”
Duncan shook his head. “Honestly, brother, I dinnae ken either. Ye ken well, that I wasnae lying with those women, and I can reveal tae ye now, those noises that were heard of late, were only me and Elaine pretending.”
Keir suddenly smiled. “Aye, well. Then, ye were both very convincing.”
“That was, until last night,” Duncan added.
“Ah,” Keir nodded. “I see. The excitement after battle, and all that.”
“Aye,” Duncan smirked. “Something like that. But my head and my heart are torn. I didnae mean tae feel anything for anyone ever again, and yet…”
“Ye cannae stop the heart when it kens what it desires, brother.” Keir shrugged knowingly. “And now, yer wondering if what yer heart desires would be acceptable to everyone else.”
“It’s nae my only consideration, but aye.”
“While I commend yer stand of doing yer upmost tae keep the clan strong, Duncan, this decision is nae for anyone other than ye. After all ye have suffered, whether people agree with yer decision or nae, will nae matter. Aye, ye should consider the clan, but ye must also consider yersel and yer own needs.”
“I dinnae want tae mak’ the clan a laughingstock either, Keir.”
“Ye cannae believe yer the first laird tae tak’ a woman of pleasure as a wife, Duncan. It has been done before ye and I have nae doubt, it will happen well after yer gone. From my knowledge, such a decision has never damaged a clan before. And besides, ye ken well, yer people are loyal to a fault. Last night was just one more example o’ that.”
“And if I dinnae choose Elaine. What are my other options?” Duncan asked, still not entirely convinced, even though Keir made entirely valid points.
“Ordinarily, in this circumstance,” Keir replied, “the council would be looking for ye tae make alliances with neighboring clans by choosing a wife from such. Yet, we dinnae need such assurances, for we are already allied with all those that surround us.” Keir sighed heavily. “Think o’ yersel for a change, Duncan. Ye have sacrificed enough. My advice, for what it is worth, is marry whomever ye desire. I cannae think o’ a man who deserves it more.”
Duncan nodded but did not reply. He could not fault Keir’s reasoning, for all he had said had been offered with genuine concern and affection, and yet Duncan was left with a niggling doubt that he could not ignore.
“I thank ye for ye advice, Keir,” he said, standing from his chair. “I will take all ye have said on board and give it some serious consideration.”
Keir looked up at him with a steady gaze. “Ye have been left with a heavy burden, brother. I dinnae envy ye at all. I dae desire ye tae ken, that I will always support ye in whatever decision ye make.”
“Thank ye, Keir.”
Duncan left the library and made his way back to his study. He needed time to think in solitude and peace, for whatever he decided would impact the rest of his life.
Duncan did not sit after closing the study door behind him. Instead, he paced back and forth across the stone floor, his thoughts racing around in his head. He knew he had feelings for Elaine. The prospect of spending the rest of his life with her did not frighten him in the least. Their union would please the council, and he would rather enjoy their efforts to produce an heir to carry on the clan's lineage. As his thoughts returned to last night, he found himself smiling.
Focus!
The smile dropped from his face and he resumed pacing. Duncan’s thoughts took him in another direction. Yes, he would enjoy his life with Elaine. But on the other hand, what further impacts would it have upon him? Cora and Eoin’s death had nearly destroyed him. He was convinced it had been the sole purpose of the man who had taken their lives. Surely, if he put another woman he cared for in Cora’s place, would he not be putting her in danger? What would stop anyone from snatching her from his grasp too?
On the other hand, if he were seen to marry a woman he had no affection for, the impact would not be so grave, and therefore, she would not become a target. Whoever had taken Cora and Eoin would discover that. They would no longer be able to leverage his affection. The thought of having to endure the agonizing pain of losing someone he cared about was too much for him to bear. He couldn't possibly put Elaine in such danger. She, like Cora before her, deserved to live a long and happy life—something he couldn't guaranteeif they wed. Duncan realized at that moment that he could never marry for love again. In fact, the mere thought of it made him shudder.
Moving toward his desk, he sank into his chair and, taking a quill and paper, began writing to the nearby lairds. He would host a feast for them all at the castle. While Keir had hoped Duncan would think of himself for a change, in a way, he was. He was saving himself from future pain by choosing an alliance over love. Furthermore, it would allow him to focus solely on clarifying why his family had been taken from him and whether the invasion last night was related in any way.
Sometime later, a light knock rapped on the door.
“Come,” he commanded, looking up.
