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“Can you guys give us a minute?” Cole darts his gaze between Jess and I, I can see he is hesitant to leave her with me so rather than going off I grit my teeth and remain quiet.
“Colton, she’s his mate. Let’s go.” I turn and thank my sister, the three of them leave the room and when I hear the door click shut behind them, I move Jess until she is straddling my lap and clasp her face between my hands so she will look at me.
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know, you couldn’t have stopped this.” She shakes her head rapidly.
“She didn’t die at birth Creed.” I reel back in shock, I assumed she was a stillborn. “She survived for two months.”
“W-what happened?” Jess lowers her gaze; I grip her chin in my hand and lift until she meets my gaze. “Please, I-I need to know.” She exhales a loud breath and nods.
“Katy died from SUDI.”
“The fuck does that mean?”
“I thought she died because of how sick I was through the whole pregnancy, but she didn’t. I blamed myself for a really, really long time until I read the report from the hospital. SUDI means,sudden unexpected death in infants.I had no idea about it, I never even knew that was a thing until it became a thing. I did everything right I swear, I fed her, bathed her and kissed her goodnight. Harlem woke and I got up to feed him, I always woke the other, so they didn’t wake at separate times but when I went to Katy… She was… She was so cold. I tried everything, I screamed for help and the others came but no one could bring her back.” A horrible gut-wrenching sob tears from inside her. “They couldn’t bring her back; my little girl was…gone.” Tears leak down my face, I’m so numb. I should have been there for my daughter I could have… I could have done something, anything! Instead, now I just have to sit here and hear the story of my daughter’s short life.
Corbin whines inside my mind, he’s in pain as well. Losing a pup is something so rare, why the fuck did this have to happen to my daughter? Is this Karma’s way of punishing me for all the bad things I have done, for the lies I have told to the mother of my children?
Chapter Nine
Jessica
My chest feels like it has been ripped open and my soul has been laid bare for all others to see. I don’t know who told Creed about Katy, I had planned on telling him, but we never got a chance. Talking about her brings back all the guilt and pain, I still blame myself for losing her. No one could tell me why, they just said it happens sometimes. Katy was a fucking shifter! How the hell does a shifter baby die of SUDI? Another sob wrenches out of me, Creed hauls me against him, and I bury my face in the crook of his neck. Seeing the look in his eyes when I told him how she passed guts me, seeing him cry breaks me anew. Creed is such a strong alpha male and to see him breakdown, it shatters me.
He runs his hand up and down my back, I wrap my arms around him and hold him close. When I lost Katy, he was the person I longed for, he was the one that I wanted to hold me and tell me it wasn’t my fault. He wasn’t there so I latched onto the next best thing––Cole. Cole held my hand through it all, when I would wake at night screaming, he would come and hold me until I fell asleep in his arms.
“We’ll get through this Princess. I am so sorry for what I said last night, I don’t want to keep hurting you. I know I fuck up a lot, but Jess please don’t push me away, don’t take my son from me, I am begging you.” I pull back and stare down at him, how could he think that?
“I would never take him from you Credence, you’re his father.” Irritation flares in his eyes before he quickly masks it.
“I know losing our daughter has made you so protective over him, I understand now. You may not intentionally mean to, but you do keep him from me.” I try to cut in, but he places his finger against my lips and shushes me. “I shouldn’t have to ask to spend time with him, if you and I disagree you always take him. I may have ruined my chances with you Jess and I hate what I have done to you, but I swear to God I will never fuck up with him. I want to be his dad; I want to love him and show him the goddamn world. I don’t want him to be like me, I want to end this shit with the council so he can be free of this life.” I recoil in shock.
“I-I… Wow.” Creed smiles sadly and reaches up and cups my cheek in his hand, I nuzzle into his touch and his eyes spark with heat at my acceptance of his touch.
“You’re it for me Jess.” The sincerity in his eyes is my undoing, I close the space between us and smash my lips against his. Fire spreads throughout my body, I don’t think that will ever go away. Whenever he touches me, I begin to heat, it’s like he’s the match to the fire inside me. Creed grips the back of my neck and holds me in place as he devours my mouth, I release a moan when his free begins to squeeze my ass. He thrust upward and I can feel how much he wants me; he moves his hand to my hip and begins to guide me so I’m rocking against his hardness. Heat emanated from his body; I was awash with the scent of him. Another moan tears from me, fire explodes in my veins. His hands begin to roam all over my body, my breast’s, my back, my ass, he touches everywhere except the place I want him to touch most. He breaks our kiss and we’re both a panting breathless mess, he pushes me back so I’m sitting on his la with my back flat against the table.
He runs his hands down my chest and tweaks my nipples through my shirt and I moan. I’m so freaking turned on I can smell my own wetness; his hands roam lower and then he pops the button on my jeans and slides the zipper down slowly. He taps my ass so I’ll lift up, he peels my pants from my body.
“Fuck princess.” I lean up on my elbows and bite my bottom lip. “Where’s your panties?”
“There isn’t exactly a washer here, so I had to go commando.” His only answer is a growl as he stares down at my bare pussy, I haven’t been able to shave so I’m a bit self-conscious. Creed lifts me by my ass and pushes me back until I’m lying on the table, I sit up to ask what he’s doing but clamp my mouth shut to keep from crying out when he lowers his head and begins to lap at my pussy. He spreads my legs wider and parts my folds, exposing my clit to him. He flicks his tongue out and I shudder. He licks me from my clit to my opening and moans tumble out of me, he stops and I sit up to glare down at him but stop when I see him pull his shirt off and chuck it at me with a smirk on his face.
“Bite down on that and keep quiet or you’ll wake our son.” I freeze, I totally forgot Harlem was sleeping mere feet away from us. Creed must see the horror on my face because he adds. “If you’re quiet he will never know, or I can stop now and leave you wired and tense?” I glare at him as I ball his shirt up and hold it against my mouth. “Good choice.” He drops back into his chair and dives back between my legs, all thoughts of being self-conscious fly out the window when I feel my impending orgasm rise, its right there but I can’t reach it. Creed must sense this because he pushes a single finger inside me, and I have to bite down on his shirt to stop the cry from sounding out and waking Harlem. Four pumps later and I’m muttering Creed’s name into his shirt, he withdraws his finger and doesn’t give me time to come down from my high before he’s undoing his pants and sliding them down exposing his rock-hard cock. I can’t tear my eyes from it, has it grown? “Shirt off princess.” Reality comes crashing down on me, I shake my head and Creed cocks a brow at me. I remove the shirt from my mouth and look up at him.
“Creed, my body…. It isn’t the same…. It’s changed––“He leans down and smashes his lips against mine, this kiss steals the air from my lungs.
“You’re beautiful Jess. This body of yours gave us the greatest gifts, never hide it from me. I love you regardless.” Tears cloud my vision, he grips the bottom of my shirt and slowly lifts it over my head, my bra goes next. I lay here naked with his heated gaze on me, I have stretch marks now on the sides of my hips and some on my lower stomach but the way he is looking at me makes me feel beautiful. He leans down and captures my lips in a heated kiss, he’s pouring all of his love into this kiss, and it melts me. He pulls back and looks me directly in the eyes. “No more lies, no more secrets.”
“Okay.” I whisper, he moves his hips forward and I can feel the tip of his cock at my entrance and stiffen.
“Relax little alpha, I got you.” I do as he says and relax, he nudges forward and inches inside me slowly, a moan comes from me. He places his hand over my mouth as he slams the remainder of his cock inside me, and my cry of pleasure is masked by his hand. His eyes change to blue, and a small growl sounds inside his chest. He gives me time to adjust to him before he begins moving inside me, oh my god. I forgot how good this felt. “Fuck, you’re so tight princess.” His pace picks up and I start to feel my orgasm building again, he leans back and lifts my legs, so my ankles are on his shoulders and bends forward so I’m folded like a staple.
Holy fuck!
This angle is definitely hitting the exact spot I need. I feel around with my hand and grip his shirt then shove it in my mouth as he begins to slam inside me. the look on his face tells me he is loving being inside me as much as I love having him in me. He leans in closer to me; my legs are nearly flat against my chest. He slams into me again and then I’m seeing stars as I scream into his shirt. I watch as he pumps into me two more times before his forehead creases and his eyes slam shut and he bites his bottom lip to stop himself from making any sound. I feel his cock swell as he cum’s inside me, he pushes my legs from his shoulders and slumps forward resting his forehead against my chest. Our loud breathes fill the silent room, my chest is rising and falling rapidly, that was amazing! I reach up and stroke the back of his head, my heart begins to swell with joy. I open my mouth to utter the three words I know I feel for him but then clamp it shut when I hear Harlem stir. Creed leaps off me like I just burnt him, I scurry off the table and drop down to the ground beside Creed, we both frantically search for our clothes and try to dress as quick as we can, so we don’t get caught, I chuck him his shirt as he throws me my jeans. We both change as fast as we can and jump to our feet, I look to Creed, his gaze is already on me, then we lose it. We both break out into fits of laughter, Creed hunches over laughing.
“Mommy?” I snap out of my fit of laughter and head toward my son. I feel like a teenager who just about got caught having sex in their parents’ house.
After Creed managed to get his laughter under control, we decided to take Harlem for a walk to find the others. We find them near the back of the boat, Cairo, Zeke, Callie, Cole and Meg all stand around laughing. They all halt in silence as we approach, everyone seems happy to see my hand clasped in Creeds, except Cole. Cole glares at our joined hands, he pushes off the side of the boat and storms past us. I exhale a loud sigh.
