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Sighing, I click the door closed and spin in place, taking in the room. It’s not nearly as lavishly decorated as Shiloh and Logan’s house, but I assume that has more to do with the fact that Shi has put her feminine touches throughout the place.
Charlie’s house is similar to the rest of the Huxley homes, but it’s way more rustic and simple. Still, it has floor to ceiling windows and killer views. Taking a quick look around, I find a huge en-suite bathroom with a tub that is legit to die for. Instantly, I feel giddy and decide a long bath is priority number one. My feet scrunch up on the wood floor in excitement, and the crusty mud tugging on my skin reminds me of my evening activities.
Okay, so maybe a quick rinse is priority number one.
I hastily strip out of my dress and drop it on the vanity before removing my bra and panties. I glance up in the mirror and am once again glad my hair is up and in a tight bun. It seems to have survived my harrowing night, though I can’t say the same for my makeup. I quickly jump in the shower to rinse off, using the detachable shower head so that I can avoid getting my hair wet. When I’m confident I won’t be bathing in my own filth, I fill up the huge jacuzzi tub. I’m surprised when I find both bath salts and bath bombs beneath the sink. Either Charlie has a soft side, or he’s had his fair share of women use this room.
I grimace at the realization that I’m likely spending the night in his fuck pad.
I relax in the tub, allowing it to soothe my tense muscles until my skin is clean, and wrinkled from the water. I’m still riding the post-adrenaline high as thoughts of this weekend’s events roll through my mind. I’ve had a great time with Shiloh and her new family, and though I’m a little reluctant to leave and return to my solo existence, it’s for the best. I don’t want to be the sinking ship in a sea of stupidly happy.
My head tips back over the edge of the tub as I stare at the soft moonlight pouring in through the large window next to me. I’ve lived in the city my entire life, but with views like this, I could definitely get into country life. Maybe I need to buy a vacation home. The small thought brings on bigger and deeper ones that I’d rather ignore for the time being. Instead, I divert my brain to more important things. Like the man chasing me tonight…
Was it even a man? It could have been a woman, though, the tiny peek I got before they took off proved they were really tall and definitely wide. A large man, then. Were they a wedding guest? Maybe someone else was just as lost out there in the woods as I had been. Maybe they weren’t chasing me at all. The hairs on my body perk up, standing on end as I replay the memory as if to prove me wrong. No. He was definitely chasing me. There is no doubt about it. But, why? And better yet—why did I like it so fucking much?
The feeling of my feet pounding on the dirt, sinking into the earth as I ran for safety, causes my skin to flush hotter than the water did. My breathing picks up as I remember the way the wind felt against my face. An excited and nervous ball of energy starts to build inside of me, growing with every second. I think of the way the owls and crickets sang their nighttime song, oblivious to what was happening around them. I shift restlessly in the tub, the water sloshing with every move. My fingers dance along the porcelain edge as my skin begins to feel too tight. More than anything, I think about the way his footsteps sounded as he closed the distance between us.
He was so close. What would he have done if he caught me? Would he have hurt me? Would I have liked it?
And then, I remember the way I smashed into Charlie and everything that happened after…
As though I’ve been doused with a bucket of ice water, the fire coursing through my veins is extinguished. My eyes squeeze shut, and I have to swallow deeply to keep the onslaught of shameful tears at bay. Not because I rejected Charlie, but because, for the thousandth time, I wish I could just be normal.
Shiloh’s words reverberate through my brain, replacing the self-deprecating and, frankly, annoying thoughts. Maybe she was right. Maybe I just need to get back out there and find someone who wants what I want. Surely, I can’t be the only person alive who is otherwise normal and well-adapted with—odd interests.
There has to be a man out there who has his shit together and still likes to fuck hard and rough. Someone who understands that just because I want to be forced, doesn’t mean I want my choices taken from me. There has to be…I refuse to believe that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. If Shiloh can find Logan, the magical unicorn of all lumberjacks, then I can find a normal guy who will fuck me into the dirt like his little slut, then love me like his good girl.
Decision made, I stand from the tub and rush to get dressed before the effects of my pep-talk wear off. When I’m dry and warm, bundled in Charlie’s huge sweatshirt and loose pajama bottoms, I grab my phone and pad out onto the attached balcony. The air is cool and refreshing as I drop down onto the chaise lounge. I check through my emails, deleting the twenty new notifications and stalling, if I’m being honest with myself.
Shit, just do it, Ray.I quickly pull up the app search on my phone and download the number one recommended dating site, ignoring the way it makes my gut turn watery with nerves.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
I repeat the mantra, reminding myself again and again that not everyone is as shitty a person as Mark. Not all men will judge me or—
“No, Ray. Move on.” I murmur. “It’s time.”
Chapter Seven
Myfistsclenchatmy sides as I watch Rayvn-Fucking-Porter step into that piece of shit’s front door. His arm is tossed casually over her perfect, thin shoulders as he smiles down at her. He’s looking at Rayvn like he wants nothing more than to devour her, and trust me, I get it. If she was mine—I shut that line of thinking down before it can even form.
I saw them kiss, so I have no doubt in my mind about what he wants from her. Too bad he doesn’t know her the way I do. Rayvn wasn’t into that kiss. She was bored out of her mind. In fact, the only time this entire weekend she looked even remotely alive was in the forest…
When I chased her.
I hadn’t meant to. Fuck, I hadn’t even meant to show up here this weekend in this bumfuck country town, either. Seems to be happening a lot lately. It also seems I can’t fucking control myself where Rayvn is concerned. It’s like an impulse to be near her. No, more than that...it’s a craving. A deep, primal urge inside of me that demands I keep her in my sights.
It's ridiculous and a complete waste of my time. Time that I don’t have. There are so many other things I should be doing right now like taking her down remotely, just as I’d planned. Instead, I continue to stand in the darkness. The same darkness I’ve been shrouded in since I arrived last night. I can’t stop. More than that, I don’t think I want to. Except, I really need to take a piss. Not to mention, I’m exhausted and starving.
I wait as long as I can. Every cell in my body is fighting the urge to storm inside and break up their fuck-fest. I’m not jealous. She can fuck whomever she wants, but the fact that she’s with him means she won’t be spending the night alone as I’d prepared for. Gaining access to her is going to be a hell of a lot more difficult now.
Sighing, I step away from the spot where I’ve been holed up with a perfect view of Charles Huxley’s house and make my way to the back so I can find a place to relieve myself. I’m not this guy. I’m a hacker. A damn good one at that. I go undercover when I need to in order to plant cameras or bugs, maybe steal physical files when necessary, but this? This shit is next fucking level. I’ve completely lost my mind at this point.
I don’t know what’s happening to me. From the first moment I saw her photo on my computer screen, it was like I was possessed. I could have had this job done a month ago. I could have destroyed her from the privacy of my office in less than a day. I could have had her disbarred, broke, and homeless. My stomach burns at the thought, but I ignore it.
I don’t care about Rayvn. She isn’t my problem or my concern. What happens to her has nothing to do with me. I just need more time and more intel. She’s a high-priority case for me, and the client who hired me is willing to pay over a million dollars to see her destroyed. I just need to do this right. I can’t fuck it up.
She’s brilliant, powerful, and determined, not to mention afucking criminal defense attorney. If I just deleted her entire life in one day, there is no way in hell she wouldn’t be able to prove foul play. She’d have her well-connected friends and business partners hunting for my ass within minutes, all with the goal to see whoever fucked her over behind bars. Not that she’d ever find me, but still…it doesn’t hurt to be careful.
