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“You're always so wet for me,” he growled, leaning toward my ear. “Tell me you are mine.”
He began to pump his fingers in and out of my core at a faster pace, as deep as my body would allow.I felt his knuckles crashing hard into my opening. I was barely able to speak as he took away my breath with every movement.
“I'm…yours,” I moaned through the painful pleasure of his thrashing fingers.
Just as I was getting used to the feeling, he ripped his fingers out of me. A groan of frustration escaped my mouth as I longed for his touch once again. Just as I was about to protest, he taunted me.
“Are you sure you don't want me to hold back with you?” I heard him licking my juices off one of his fingers before he pressed the other into my mouth. “Suck.”
I obeyed, wrapping my lips around his finger as he slowly pulled it out. He then harshly turned me to face him, grabbing the back of my head, yanking my mouth into his.His tongue fought with mine over dominance and he was not backing down. I loved this game. I managed to pull away long enough to breathlessly speak.
“Yes,Sir,” I squeaked as he pressed his fingers into me once again, “I'm sure.”
Without warning, he picked me up, backing me into the edge of the balcony railing. “Hold on tight,” he grinned as he managed to pull his pants down enough to free himself.
I wrapped my legs tighter around him as my arms were still behind me, restrained by his belt. He slid my body down to the tip of his arousal, pushing his hips up as he slightly loosened his grip, impaling my insides on his shaft.
I screamed random incomprehensible phrases as he pinned my body against the side of the half wall, thrusting himself into my core faster than I had ever experienced. I thought my cervix was being pushed deep into my stomach.
“All of London can hear you.”
“Let...them!” I cried out.
Resting his forehead against mine, he gazed through the black lacy veil with a starving scowl as he picked up the pace. I continued to moan loudly, trying my best to communicate with him but I could not form a full sentence.
“They...should...all...know...I...love...you,” I finally managed to proclaim loudly.
He immediately froze, ripping my veil off over my head, pulling a few strands of my hair out of my head along with it. His eyes never left mine, but he also did not move away. The glazed over lustful appearance left his eyes. I was now staring into an empty, icy blue abyss that I was not familiar with.
He pulled me off him, gently standing me on the floor then pulled up his pants and buttoned them. Turning me around quickly, he unfastened the belt from my wrists, gripping it tightly as his knuckles began to turn white.He leaned over the blanket and picked it up, handing it to me without looking at me.
“Put this on.”
“That was not my safe word!”I called out irritably, but he disappeared inside without another word or glimpse of me.
I was frozen in my sadness as I replayed that awful life altering moment in my head, over and over again. I could not believe I said that to him.I mean it yes, I could but why the heck did I have to say it to him?You never ever tell someone you love them during sex unless you know the feeling is mutual. It should definitely never be said for the first time during a heated moment such as that.I felt so stupid and small.Collapsing in a lounge chair, I promised myself that I would not cry.
Staring up at the sky, I leaned back, trying to identify constellations to get my mind off the moment that probably changed everything forever.The twinkling lights of the city cancelled out most of the stars in the sky, but I counted a few bright ones as I tried to take deep breaths.
Surely this would blow over. I wanted to go inside to defend myself, but I did not dare move.I had no defense.If I told him I did not mean it, then it would be a lie. However, I would also dig my hole much deeper trying to explain, only to make him feel more awkward than I am assuming he felt now.He would come to me when he was ready to talk about it.
I left Isabelle standing naked on the balcony as I found myself mindlessly plodding back into the bedroom. It was as if I were a robot, having no control over my movements.Something switched in my body the moment she said that, and I froze.
Everything suddenly became so real to me because of her words.How could she love someone like me?I lied to her.I betrayed her.I scared her. I went to shower and did not even look outside as I passed the windows. I am sure I left her with sadness and pain on her face and I could not stand to see it.
After quickly scrubbing myself, I turned the water off, stepping out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel.I headed back toward the bed noticing her wrapped tightly in a blanket, lying on a lounger, staring at the sky.I prayed that tears were not running down her flawless, beautiful face. Hurting was the last thing I wanted her to do, but I did not have it in me to face her right now.
I dropped the towel on the floor next to the bed then crawled in, leaving myself uncovered.I hoped she would come in and get into bed with me. However, I felt she might end up wanting more time alone.
I believed me not saying it back to her, hurt her.Why did I keep screwing things up with her? I did not understand why everything could not be simple with us. They were never that way.
Since day one, I had been lying to her, and I still was.There was one secret left that I had not told her yet.It was one that I kept so close to myself that I was not sure I could ever tell her.The truth is, I was scared she would walk away the moment she knew.
I sighed loudly, pulling the blanket over my exposed body.I closed my eyes and my thoughts began to run wild about how I would handle all of the drama with her uncle, then handling what she told me he did to her.
I rolled over to check my phone, realizing it was a few hours later than it was before.I must have dozed off. Placing my arm behind me on her side of the bed, I discovered that she was still not there as there was only emptiness.A panic rushed over my body as I shot up out of bed.
I sped over to the terrace door. She was still lying in the chair asleep. I exhaled deeply, both relieved she did not leave but heartbroken she did not come to bed. I observed her face for a moment then opened the door, stepping outside.
