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“He’s better at playing this game than I am.” I despondently say, flopping down on a chair in front of the fire.
“Is that why you were kissing him? Because he’s better at playing games?”
“I didn’t kiss him.” I snap back, and she sits down next to me.
“Oh.”
“I was about to, though.”
“Oh.”
“Why, ‘oh’?”
“Because I don’t know what else to say. Vince is working really hard, and you’re not really acting as if you want to be out of this as much as you let on.”
“Olive, how could you say that? You know I despise him.”
“Maybe you do…”
“I do.”
“I’m saying, you might hate him, but you like the way he looks.”
“How can you know that?”
“Because you’ve never looked at anyone the way you look at him.”
“How do I look at him?” I ask, slightly horrified that my sister has watched us interact enough to know that I like the way he looks a little too much.
“Like, he’s the only person in the room. And even if he wasn’t, you’d be able to spot him in any crowd.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“He looks at you the same fucking way, dude.”
“He does?” I ask a little too quickly and she side-eyes me.
“Girl…”
“Okay, so I think he’s hot? That’s about where my attraction ends. And it’s not going to change the fact that I will not, under any circumstance, give in to him. I just have to keep playing nice and ignore the impulses.”
“Impulses?”
“Yes. Kissing him is just an impulse because he’s attractive and knows how to seduce.”
“Mhm… and how do you plan to ignore these impulses?”
“I’ll just do better next time. I swear.” She bites her upper lip like she wants to give me more things to think about, but chooses differently. If I could guess why, it’s probably because she sees how much I’m already beating myself up over this. I don’t need someone else telling me I was too close to breaking the rules of courting— no kissing until engagement.
Though, I guess in a way, we are engaged… but then again… I probably shouldn’t start reasoning away things now. Not the best idea— not with someone like Adrik.
We watch the fire together for a bit until Olive yawns.
“Bed?” She asks, and I nod gently, getting up and wrapping my arms around her as we walk. After we crawl into bed and snuggle up under the covers, she turns on her side to face me. I’m staring at the ceiling, but I can tell she’s observing me, so I turn my head to her, and she laughs.
“Why are you looking at me?” I giggle with her and she sighs.
“I just want you to be more careful.”
