AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Too bad.” Barth calls as I’m headed up the stairs. “Boss said you won’t be leaving Esperanza’s side for the rest of the week.” I stop in my tracks, not looking back at the three of them, standing like statues at the bottom of the foyer steps.
“I guess I’ll just have to disappoint him then. Wouldn’t be the first time.” I continue up the steps and straight to my room, slamming the door behind me because I’ve been sober for far too long, and it’s starting to get to me. After lighting my cigarette, I grab the last of theRusso-BaltiqueVodka off the dresser and step outside, taking sips in between smokes.
It’s what I do for most of the day— get drunk and smoke a lot out in the cold until I’m not even cold anymore because the core of me feels hot. Why the fuck am I like this? Why the fuck can’t I catch a break? I hate it. I hate this entire trip because despite what I said to Espie, I am not in charge. None of us are as long as my father is.
The sun is setting, sky getting gray as new clouds set in that promise snow for, I don’t know how long. Hopefully, they pass, hopefully. Then at least I can hit up a pub or something on my own to get the image of Espie being hurt by my words, washed out of my mind. Why it’s even in my head in the first place is not only a mystery, but a disturbance.
By the time I’m properly drunk, I’ve made it through the first bottle of vodka, and I've moved on to my second—The Eye of the Dragon. This shit is pure. That’s why I already took the liberty of swiping it from the cellar when we got here. No sense in wasting precious vodka. If anything, I’m doing my family duty by drinking it.
I take my fourth swig and light my fifth cigarette with the end of the last one, tossing the butt of it over the balcony just as the door swings open, nearly hitting me in the face.
“Where have you been all day?” Espie’s voice disappoints me, but only because I’m trying to forget about her and here she is acting like she cares.
“We don’t have to do this.”
“It’s freezing out here, come inside.” She steps out fully onto the balcony, closing the door behind her and reaching for my hand. Her frame is blurred around the edges, glowing almost, and I know it’s only the strange mixture of light from inside beaming out. But drunk me thought she was actually on fire for a second. Glad I didn’t mention that. Or did I?
“Did I say something?” I flick the butt of my cigarette, inhaling deeply to try to regain some focus for whatever she’s attempting to talk to me about right now.
“Are you high?”
“No.” I scoff. “I’m not in high school.” And her hand is on my shoulder before I realize my chuckling has caused me to lose my balance. I’m about to shrug her off, but her hand is on the bottle in mine, and I won’t risk any sudden movements that will send this baby flying.
The vodka— not Espie. Though, I guess that would suck too.
“Give me the bottle.” She tugs lightly, and now I’m mad.
“No!” I try to make a movement that doesn’t feel natural, and she somehow rips it out of my hand. “The fuck, Espie?!” I rage, all the heat left in my body, coming out in one large cloud of vapor.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Give me myfuckingvodka.” I really shove out the fucking like it’s a punch.
“Then tell me thefuckingtruth.” She mimics myfuck, and honestly, I’ve lost all desire to cooperate. I don’t even know what she’s talking about anyway.
“What?” I pinch the space between my brows, exasperated.
“Are you angry?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did I do something to anger you?”
“Espie, you always do something to anger me.”
Her shoulders drop, and she pulls the bottle close to her chest, shaking her head. I watch the bottle intently before glancing back up at her.
“Why are you being so mean to me?” I’m blinking, trying to figure out what the hell she is even trying to get at.
“Sweetie, you and I are not friends.” Her brows go low and there’s that look in her eyes again, glistening with a mixture of betrayal and pain.
“I thought… the other night.” She shakes her head like she’s trying to figure it all out, but she won’t be able to because the reason she’s confused is not her fault, but mine. Yeah, I can admit when I’m instigating— at least when I’m drunk. But I’m clear-headed enough not to tell her why she’s confused, not to put myself and my plans to get the hell away from this marriage contract.
“And then, last night… We…” It’s mostly anger creasing her face now, and then she looks right into my eyes, burning me with her glare. “Do you even like me?”
“Like you?” I shout drunkenly and she cocks her head back. “Baby, I barely even tolerate you.” With that, she reaches the bottle over the balcony, and before I can even lunge forward, she dumps it out and tosses the bottle into the snow below before turning towards the door.
“Go to hell, Adrik.” She swings the door open, nearly hitting me in her face again.
