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“Okay.” He whispers before thrusting into me again. This time the pain has almost fully subsided and all that’s left is the pleasure he’s able to bring me. He grips me tightly, and I grip him right back, digging my fingernails into his skin. He thrusts faster, kissing me roughly, and I won’t let him stop. It’s like I’m drowning, but I like it and I want his weight on me, I want the pain that feels better than anything I’ve ever experienced— good or bad.
“Fuck.” I gasp, feeling myself climb and seeing in his eyes that he’s close too. Just as I’m about to explode, the friction of his length caressing my sheath with adamant perfection, he scoops me up and presses me against the stone wall by the fireplace. I wrap my legs around him as he kisses down my neck, then back up my jawline.
He’s taking his time now, teasing me because I was about to come, we both were.
“Fuck me.” I whisper when his lips are dragging across mine and his breathing is sporadic and desperate.
“What did you just say to me?” He whispers into my mouth, a mischievous grin across his lips and twinkling in his bright-sky eyes.
“You heard me.” I barely get the words out before his length shoves me even further up the wall, scraping my skin a bit, but I couldn’t care less. He’s giving me everything he’s got, fucking me so hard I can only breathe in when he’s pulled out, and out when he’s pounding into me. Everything in me feels like it’s falling forwards and backwards at the same time, as if pleasure is shoving its way into me so that I no longer exist as just one person, but two. So that Adrik and I are connected in some spirit realm where everything between us is so aligned that we’re attached to one another forever— content and blissful with our new existence.
My sheath quakes with each thrust of his long length, perfectly curving with the parts of me that need the most attention to give me the greatest pleasure. “Fuck.” He rests his forehead on mine, and I’m getting closer, about to explode, moaning as I throw my head away from his.
He begins to kiss my neck, but ends up stuck in one spot, moaning into my skin. I think he’s saying my name and I get new chills somewhere in my chest that almost feel unnatural because I think I’m instantly addicted to this, and I’m only on the cusp of existential pleasure.
I let out a higher moan just as his lips collide with mine again, and then he lays me on my back, and we’re somehow tangled up in the fur on the floor again. We hold on to one another like we’re trying to make this change permanent— us becoming one being. Our hips are colliding over and over, and our heavy breathing is producing too much carbon dioxide. I know because I’m high off it, high off his breath and the way he feels inside me.
We’re moaning into each other's mouths, eyes only opening to glance into one another’s until we’ve reached some sort of impossible realm of pleasure that sends us both into a fit of cussing and clenched jaws.
“Adrik.” I moan as he speeds up even faster, and then I reach another peak of indescribable, out-of-body ecstasy, I’ve ever had.
“Espie.” He moans back as I feel him swell and throb, the hot rush of his cum filling me, and he moans my name over and over into my lips as I hold tightly to him. He thrusts for a little longer, slowing down as he does. Our breaths are in perfect rhythm, like we now share a lung— among other things— and he rolls off me, laying on his back, heavy breaths as his eyes fixate on the ceiling.
I catch my breath too, wanting so badly for him to pull me on top of him like he sometimes does when we’re both finished. He doesn’t, though– doesn’t look at me, doesn’t even ask me if I’m okay after everything. Worry starts to swirl in my chest as I watch him.
“Adrik?” I whisper, breathing still shaky, body beginning to shiver from the adrenaline coursing through my veins.
He doesn’t respond, so I say his name again like calling into a void, as he continues to look up at the ceiling like it’s the only thing that matters to him. I even glance at it a few times to make sure there isn’t something there that he’s concerned about. But it’s just a dark wood ceiling, vaulted into four dome quadrants like the keel of a ship, bent and bowed to a small circular skylight at the tip.
“Adrik?” I whisper like I really don’t want to admit that I’m a fucking idiot for letting this happen, and I think I am because silence is all that hovers between us. My stomach churns, mouth floods with saliva, eyes go blurry, and I try to hold myself back, but I don’t think I can… I’m about to be sick.
Chapter Twenty Seven:Adrik
Espie’ssudden movement breaks my eyes from the ceiling. She jolts to her feet, a fur blanket wrapped around her body, and before I can say anything, she sprints to the doors. She tears one open, and now I’m up, wrapping a fur blanket around my waist in a panic before I realize, there’s no need.
If anyone finds out we had sex, the deal will be off anyway. So, why am I still running towards the door, trailing behind her as she sprints down the hall and enters one of the bathrooms next to the library? She slams the door before I can reach it, and I knock lightly over the wood, worry, clouding my better judgment to just let her be. The task is done, I should be happy, elated even, but I feel horrible, and I don’t have any idea why.
Shouldn’t freedom feel… I don’t know…freeing?
“Go away.” her voice echoes within the confines of the small tiled bathroom. I know she doesn’t want me to go away, that she means the opposite. Yes, I understand girl code, but only so I can defy it. It’s a difficult language to learn, but I have. Just never used it this way, to stay instead of go.
“I’m not leaving.” I croak above a whisper, and the toilet flushes. The water runs for a while as I lean against the door, fully prepared to barge in the second she unlocks it. After a moment, the knob turns, and I don’t have a chance to catch myself before the entire door swings inward. I knock against her— very uncoordinated of me— and grasp at the air with my free hand.
“Fuck.” I growl, catching myself before my head smacks the sink and now the door is gaping, her fur blanket has dropped, and all I can stare at is her naked body. She sniffs as I kick the door closed and lock it, looking at her up and down before grabbing the blanket off the floor and handing it to her.
She doesn’t take it immediately. “Go.” She whimpers through a shaking voice.
“Espie, I didn’t—“
“Leave me alone!” She screams and I cover her mouth instinctually before I remind myself that it’s okay if we’re caught now. I retract my hand, but keep my proximity, wanting to improve it all, if only she’d let me. I don’t care why that is, all I know is I want her to be okay.
Her lip quivers as she takes a breath to speak, the fur blanket now pulled close to her chest. “I don’t need you, or anyone else, talking about this. Do you hear me? We toasted our proposal, we snuck an innocent kiss, I said goodnight, and went to bed.” She’s ignoring the fact that she’s crying enough tears to fill a drinking glass while she forces out the words like they pain her. Am I just supposed to ignore the fact that she is falling apart in front of me, turn around and fall asleep with the taste of her still on my tongue?
“Did I hurt you?”
Her face contorts at my words like I’m completely dim for even asking. “You’re a head case, Adrik. I thought you wanted me.”
“I do.” I whisper, ignoring the impulses to shut the hell up and leave.
