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“How was it?” Mac asks when I’ve been too silent, and we’re already thirty minutes into a forty-minute drive home.
“Yeah, it was… It sucked.” I grit my teeth with a heavy breath through my nose, and look out the window at the rain rolling down the window like the early morning I met Adrik. That fateful, twisted morning that hasn’t seemed to end and the worst part is… Adrik was everything I hated, and everything I ever wanted, all wrapped up into a conundrum. And maybe I got my wires crossed there a bit, misplaced the magnet in my compass and thought for just a moment, he could be my conundrum.
But all of that is gone now, he made certain of that.
I hope he gets the letter I slipped under the door, hope he knows how horrible of a person he is because of what he’s done. Most of all, I hope he knows I don’t think he could ever do anything to make up for the pain he’s caused me and my entire family.
“I’m sorry.” Mac finally says, turning his eyes back to me when we’re at a stop light. His large features always made me think he could be a model or an actor. It’s strange he got roped into this type of life-- being in the mafia.
“That’s alright.” I barely voice before the light is green, and a car is beeping at us because he’s just watching me with sad eyes, and I’m staring back, trying to convince him— both of us— that I’m fine.
The rest of the drive, we’re silent, and then we get to the gates, and it’s like waiting for thunder after the lightning. It’s expected, but somehow no less terrifying when I see my house at the end of the long driveway. Trees twist and bend in the winds and rain, carrying on around us as we park in the very front by the steps.
“I’ll park the car.” Mac says, though, I know how this works. I offer a forced grin and a slight nod as he leaps out of the car with an umbrella and around to my side. I shake Olive awake and pull her outside with me just as he opens the door. She’s stumbling a little until some rain hits her because she’s not paying attention to where the umbrella is.
“Shit.” She growls, and I pull her back to me as Mac walks us up the stairs and right to the front door.
“Thank you.” I nod, and we head right for the front door that swings open to reveal my brother— all of them. I shift my jaw as my eyes flit between them, and before I can say anything, their arms are around us both.
“We missed you.” Vince says first, and the others join along. After a minute of confusion and slight relief, Antonio, Romeo, and Tito pull away while Vince remains close to me.
“Well, you’re out of the contract.” Antonio flashes me a grin and I try to smile, but it’s not as good of news as I thought it would be. You know, given the circumstances at hand and the heart I used to have left somewhere between Russia and the Atlantic Ocean.
“You’re not mad anymore?” I mostly speak to Vincenzo.
“I’m happy you’re home.” Very diplomatic of him. “You must be tired, you should both go get some rest.”
“I slept the entire way.” I note and they all look between each other.
“Well, I think we should take some time before we discuss what we’ll do to resolve this issue.”
“Espie isn’t the issue.” Olive snaps, speaking up for the first time since we walked through the door.
Vince sighs, and I know it’s because when Olive and I team up, it’s pretty difficult for anyone to win. We’re very persuasive together. I take the soft, intellectual points and drive them home, while she’s persistent and bold with maintaining our stance. That got us into some fights with Pops when we were little, but Pops doesn’t even know about what’s going on. Not unless, after Vince got off the phone with us, he called him.
He’s been in Italy, taking a trip with some of the elders. I think he left when Olive and I left for Russia.
Everyone looks between us like they want to avoid setting off the bomb we’re creating, ready to defend one another and whatever point we agree on. I might be on the verge of crying, but I won’t be snubbed out of knowing what the plan is, not when my entire life just exploded, and I haven’t yet picked up the pieces. I don’t know if I ever will.
“What is the next step for me?” I ask calmly, looking right into Vince’s eyes. He hesitates for a moment, and then the boys all nod like he should tell me.
He clicks his tongue and looks back at me. “We’re working to overthrow the Bratva. Rome’s wife, Kira—“
“We know my sister-in-law’s name.” Olive bites and Vince continues with a slight rise of his eyebrows.
“We know her and her twin brother, Koa, are meant to be in charge. It’s in their best interest that the issue of you no longer being a virgin is resolved. Therefore, tomorrow evening, we’ll have a small wedding.”
“I’m sorry, for who are we talking about?” Olive takes the words right out of my mouth as my chest tightens with such intensity, I almost grab it.
“For Esperanza and a lower ranking Yakuza boy. He’s head of security, a reasonable contribution, and most importantly, his family is willing to ignore your impurities to create a strong union.”
“What?” I spit and Olive jumps in.
“Of course, they’re looking to ignore that she’s no longer a virgin, they wouldn’t ever be able to marry into our family any other way. This is totally unfair, ridiculous, outrageous, and—“ I grabbed her shoulder to shut her up, and she cocks her head to me, face red like she could have gone longer. With a heavy breath, deeper than I’ve been able to take in a long time, I lower my chin until it’s touching my chest.
“Okay.” I say, looking up at them all. “I got our family into this mess. I appreciate the second chance.” They all look wide-eyed and stunned, but I’m done fighting, done trying. I’d rather be stuck in a loveless marriage than bare the shame I’ve brought upon my family. If I can still help them in some way, even in my current state, I will do what needs to be done.
“But, Espie—“ Olive’s eyes go rounder and I shake my head.
