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And then, Clara releases a bright giggle. “No!” she squeals playfully, as if she thinks he must be teasing her. “This is my mommy,” she adds, looking up at me with round hazel eyes that hold all the innocence in the world.
My stomach drops as my heart comes to a screeching halt in my chest. This is the worst possible way Nicolo could have found out about his daughter. I hardly dare to look at him. And when I do, I’m gutted by the anger and betrayal in his eyes.
“Funny, I don’t remember you mentioning you had a daughter,” Nicolo says with forced nonchalance.
Blood pools in my cheeks as my horror sends me reeling. “Oh, yes. Her name is Clara. Clara, say hi to Nicolo.”
“Hi, Nicolo,” Clara recites happily.
“Good girl. Now go take your auntie over to the playground and see if she’ll push you on the swing. I’ll be right there.”
My aunt’s eyes meet mine, her eyebrows raising in an unspoken question.
“I’ll be right behind you. I just need to speak to Nicolo for a moment.”
Clara leads my aunt away by the finger, taking with her the last barrier of protection I might have against Nicolo’s wrath.
“I can explain,” I say as soon as they’re out of earshot.
“That you have a daughter you never told me about?” Nicolo scoffs, his tone deeply wounded.
“No.” Tears sting my eyes as I fight to hold back my emotions. “We have a daughter.”
“What? What the fuck are you talking about?”
The vitriol in his voice lashes me like a whip, and I flinch.
“We went to high school together, Nicolo, for my first two years. Back then, I thought we might have something special. I was a virgin, but I thought you really wanted to be with me. So after you invited me to one of your house parties, when you took me up to your room to talk–well, one thing led to another… and I gave you my virginity. Afterward, you made it perfectly clear that I was just a conquest, that you liked the challenge of getting virgins to sleep with you.”
Emotion contorts Nicolo’s face as recognition flickers in his eyes. And then, like a sunrise, I see the light fill his eyes as he remembers me for the first time. How that can be so painful even now, I don’t know, but it cuts deep to know that he could go all this time without even a clue.
“I got pregnant from my one time with you, and I decided to keep the baby. At the end of the school year, I transferred to a different school. I started late at my new school so no one would know that I got pregnant before my seventeenth birthday.” I shake my head, dropping my eyes to the ground. “I never thought I would see you again,” I murmur.
“But you did. The first day of the semester, when you spilled your lunch on me–you recognized me right away. You’ve known formonths,” he hisses. “I was right there in front of you, and you didn’t think to tell me I have a child?”
I flinch, then slowly force myself to meet his eyes, my anger bubbling to life when I do. “It’s not like you gave me a good reason to tell you. You were an asshole, Nico. You were horrible to me in high school and even worse from the start of my time at Rosehill.”
“And now?” Nicolo demands, his voice rising. “I’d say we’re well past that excuse, Anya. God, you’re un-fucking-believable!”
Tears trickle down my cheeks as my worst fears come to life. He’s not going to forgive me for this. I can hear it in his tone. “I was going to tell you,” I insist, but my voice is too choked from the lump in my throat to hold any conviction.
Nicolo scoffs. “I’m sure. I can’t believe I thought I was falling for you. You’re just as full of shit as the rest of them, aren’t you? Well, you can fuck right off. And you can’t keep my daughter from me. You had no right to keep her from me as long as you have.” Icy fury tinges his tone, and then he leans closer, getting in my face. “Maybe I should just take Clara away from you as punishment for keeping her a secret.”
My heart stops, and a strangled cry bursts from me at those words. “Please, Nico,” I beg. “Please don’t take my daughter from me.”
“She’smydaughter too,” he rasps. His fingers comb into his hair as a snarl bursts from his chest. “Fuck, Anya! I can’t even stand to look at you right now.” With that, Nicolo spins on his heel and marches away.
I watch him go, struck dumb as my emotions consume me, bringing me to my knees. I’ve lost him. There’s no doubt about it.But have I just lost my daughter too?I don’t think I could survive that.
37
NICOLO
Storming into my father’s house, I call Silvia’s name, hoping she’s home.
She appears at the top of the banister a moment later, a broad smile on her face. “Nico, you’re home!” she calls in delight. Then she takes me in, and her face falls. “What’s wrong?” she asks as I trudge up the stairs, my heart heavy.
I shake my head, pulling her into a bear hug as I lift her off her feet. Silvia wraps her arms around me, giving me a tight squeeze.
